Three go Mad In Manchester

Introduction

2010-12-01T16:46:00.000Z

2008-07-01T22:09:00.008+01:00

I'll leave Trish to explain. I don't understand! The picture is of Tina, on the left, Penny in the middle and Tricia, surprisingly on the right.

Oh and by the way, I beg you, open your eyes!

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We are what we are and what we are is an illusion.
We love how it feels
Putting on heels causing confusion.
We face life though it's sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter;
Face life, with a little guts and lots of glitter.
Look under our frocks: Girdles and jocks,
Proving we are what we are!

We are what we are - Half a brassiere, half a suspender.
Half real and half fluff,
You'll find it tough guessing our gender.
So Just [WHISTLE] ("Hey, Taxi!")
If we please you that's the way to show us.
Just [WHISTLE] (Wolf-call)
'Cause you'll love us once you get to know us.
Look under our glitz: Muscles and tits,
Proving we are what we are.

We face life though it's sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter,
Face life, with a little guts and lots of glitter.
Look under our frocks: Girdles and jocks,
Proving we are what we are!

[INTERLUDE - TAPS]

Aaah...Un! Deux! Trois! Quatre! Cinq! Six! Sept! Huit!
Ah, Saint Tropez
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

So Just [WHISTLE] ("Hey, Taxi!")
If we please you that's the way to show us.
Just [WHISTLE] (Wolf-call)
'Cause you'll love us once you get to know us.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeee face life though it's sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter,
Face life, with a little guts and lots of glitter.
Look under our frocks: Girdles and jocks,
Proving we are what we aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!
Yeow!

Preface - All about the Girls

The story is fact not fiction and happened over the last year or so. I've changed the ages of the main characters to reflect where I feel they fit in at the moment, more about that later, and have slightly twisted what actually happened to fit in with the story line.

Initially (the first few chapters) I was learning to do it so the gay village in Manchester where I was practicing became a school. My hotel room became my dormitory.

Other things in the early chapters:
School uniform = dressed
Fizzy pop = beer
Cream cakes = use your imagination
Tuck shop = our local pub
Big girls club = Tranny nightclub
The sweets which make you giggle are merely poppers, not drugs

All character names in the story are correct (obviously femme names for us girls) unless Tina and I have nicknames for people – when I use the nickname. Tina is my best friend and we are at about the same stage in our development. Tina lives in Manchester (at Tranny Towers) which is about two miles from the gay village. I have moved in to live with her at weekends. We learn different things off each other and fast-track our development. The sub-text of the story is about two of us getting stronger and more confident, growing up in fact.

The third person is Penny, a 6 foot 2 inch schoolgirl with a passion for pink socks. The three of us are pretty much inseperable and do many things together, often with hilarious consequences!

There are plenty of other varied and different characters to meet: Sonia, my favourite hooker Antonia, Megan and Becky (aka wife and wife) who are partners, Paula with the ample charms, Mark/Morticia who is lapsed and Glenda, and Monica who is an American to name but a few. Many men also pop up from time to time, often repeatedly. Whenever I go to Manchester, and that is pretty much every weekend, I meet someone new.

I must also mention the guys working behind the bar at the pub. Steve, Lee, Paul and Marie are tremendous fun (yes, even Paul, even though he never smiles), always make us welcome and look after us – which is very important. It can be dangerous out there! Also many thanks to Jay who looks after me in the nightclub when I'm quite often the worse for ware. I've only been naughty there once Jay – and anyway, someone has to support Manchester City.

The blogs themselves are in three parts. There is the bit written by me at the start. I tend to write this while I am in Manchester so it’s fresh in my mind. This is why it is not very long. I just want to get on with living my new life not writing about it. Then there is the song, which will always have some relevance to the story (however tenuous) then there is the main part, written by my other half (Iain) when he is back home in Chesterfield and has some time. It’s therapeutic for him to do this and keeps me in him (or something like that) during the week.

So don't take everything at face value but it all happened. Iain has great fun writing it and we both want you to enjoy reading it hence the explanation.

By the way, have you noticed that every song is a tranny song,

Enjoy,

Hugs,
Trish xx

Chapter One - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

2008-06-30T08:13:00.005+01:00

This is the first part (of three so far) of a true story and is very, very English. . It is written in the style of Enid Blyton. To help, the picture is Tricia in her new satchell and summer blazer.Oh, and by the way:

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Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

I can!

Part 1 – In which our heroine returns to school, buys some summer clothes, meets up with her pals, and becomes aware of some mistakes she has made.

After two weeks at home feeling very unwell, Tricia was jolly glad to be going back to school. She was going to meet her best chum Tina again and Tina’s chum Penny. There would be so much to talk about, so many yummy goodies to eat and so much fizzy pop to drink. She was therefore in a very happy mood when Matron showed her to her room. It was brill, plenty of room for two girls and a double bed so scrummy that she had to dive into it. She wondered who she was going to share it with this time.

But no time for play girl, she thought to herself. Time to get up and get out into the big City before meeting her pals. It was now summer, the sun was shining and Tricia needed a new satchel and summer blazer. She was pleased to go shopping in the big City, but sad that she didn’t have enough time to put on her school uniform. She was very proud of her school.

Shopping done, Tricia met up with her chums at the tuck shop. It served delicious ginger pop which all the girls loved. What was more, nice boys were allowed to buy pop as well. (Tricia thought about how much she had changed since last year when boys didn’t matter at all) .Oh how the girls chatted, so glad to be back together again and how the ginger pop went down. It was so lovely to be back with Tina and Penny, and Tricia was so happy.

Then one of the teachers, Josh, came in. Tricia had heard about him but had never been in his class. Penny and Tina had however, and told Tricia about the yummy cream cakes and sweets which made you giggle he gave you if you went for extra tuition. Tricia was thirsting for knowledge and thought she would like some private lessons. By now though it was getting late and the youngest girl Penny, who was twelve, but a very old twelve, had to leave before lights out.

Tricia and Tina were very excited however because they were old enough to go to the big girls club. Josh wanted to come too but by then he had drunk so much ginger pop he was nearly bursting and the girls were frightened he wouldn’t be allowed in. They were all very pleased when they managed to smuggle him past the senior prefects.

Tina and Tricia loved the big girls club. Boys were allowed in if they behaved (though not many seemed to) and lots of old schoolgirls came back to visit. Everybody listens to music, talks, dances and has lots of fizzy pop. The girls stuck with Josh because he told them he had enough cream cakes for them both and plenty of the sweets which made you giggle. At the end of the evening they decided to go back to Tricia’s dorm for some extra tuition - but then disaster struck. Tricia had not specified to Matron that she was well enough to have visitors so Josh and Tina couldn’t come in. Instead they went back to Tranny Towers where Tina stayed and, so Tina said, had a very good private lesson where she learned a lot.

What a silly girl I am thought Tricia, but never mind; I can play with my favourite toy rabbit, Buzzy again. But it was not to be Tricia’s night. The rabbit’s battery had gone and the one thing Buzzy didn’t do, was buzz! So, like the good girl she is, she fell into a deep contented sleep.

Chapter Two - Three Little Maids From School

Three Little Maids From School

2008-06-29T08:37:00.002+01:00

Hopefully everyone now gets the picture and I promise the story gets more interesting. So ..Oh, and by the way - very, very English

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Three little maids from school are we
Pert as a school-girl well can be
Filled to the brim with girlish glee
Three little maids from school

Everything is a source of fun
Nobody's safe, for we care for none
Life is a joke that's just begun
Three little maids from school

Three little maids who, all unwary
Come from a ladies' seminary
Freed from its genius tutelary
Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school

One little maid with a man, yum-yum
Two little maids in attendance cum
Three little maids is the total sum
Three little maids from school

Three little maids from school

From three little maids take one away
Two little maids remain, and they
Won't have to wait very long, they say
Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school

Three little maids who, all unwary
Come from a ladies' seminary
Freed from its genius tutelary
Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school

And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Part 2 In which the girls go shopping, are introduced to the barnacle, meet the horrid Sonia and have lots of fun. It seems our heroine may be growing up.

It was Saturday morning and the sun was shining again. The girls were very happy because Penny had a pass to go into the big City with them, and they were all going in school uniform as well. They all loved their school. The girls met at a different shop where the ginger pop wasn’t quite so good but Penny knew the shop keeper who was called Sue. Then they moved onto the old girls common room because Tina and Tricia wanted to talk to the girls playing in the big hockey match the next day. There was something called a munch going on and the girls wondered what scrummy cakes and biscuits you could eat; but they were not old enough to go in. They did meet Rascal who had only recently left school. She was being lead round on a leash by her new owner, but looked very beautiful and was obviously very, very happy. The girls thought how jolly it would be if they were lead around on a leash when they grew up.

Eventually our intrepid three went into the big City in their school uniform. Tina in her short school dress, Tricia in her school blouse and trousers and Penny in her pretty pink dress with marching pig-tails. They needed some new school knickers so had to go to the school outfitters called Primark. The girls were amazed at the number and choice of school knickers available. “Gosh”, exclaimed Tricia
“Gosh” exclaimed Penny
“Josh” exclaimed Tina
“Golly Gosh” laughed all three girls together,
but Tricia noticed that Tina had got a very red face. This was better even than the sweet shop they thought. As they were rummaging through trying to choose some for themselves a group of horrid boys turned up and started pointing and laughing at them. What the boys were doing in the girls part of the school outfitters they didn’t know, but our brave girls carried on as if nothing had happened and Penny and Tina in particular bought enough knickers to last them the term. Then the girls went to the cosmetic store. Tina and Tricia were now old enough to wear make-up at school and both girls enjoyed shopping for lipstick, blush and foundation. Penny too bought some make-up which she was going to smuggle back into school when she could.

After all that shopping the girls were very thirsty and decided it was time for some ginger pop. Penny was an extremely brave girl and went to a milk bar called Wetherspoons. Despite being younger, she was far braver than Tina and Tricia because Wetherspoons was a place where all the naughty boys and girls who had been expelled from school went. It was Tina’s first time enjoying pop in the big City so maybe that wasn’t too surprising and she wanted it to be fun. So Tina and Tricia walked around the corner and found a lovely café which served very yummy ginger pop.The girls then rushed back to school before the gates shut, made it just in time, and headed straight for the tuck shop to meet up with Penny again.

They had got the taste and fancied lashings more ginger pop. There they met Crystal Chandelier, the oldest girl, at 75, in the school, although this was her final year, and her friend the barnacle. The barnacle was a strange boy who looked very young and frail but in fact was the complete opposite. He was called the barnacle because if anything touched him, it was impossible for it to break free. The girls had also been warned about the barnacle’s chocolate fingers. Normally they loved anything sticky and creamy but apparently his chocolate fingers made you ill and tasted yucky. At least they knew.Poor Tina; they had barely sat down before she somehow got herself attached to the barnacle. It took a good few minutes for her to break free. Tricia and Penny were very surprised when a few moments later Tina got stuck to the barnacle again. Tina did seem a bit more ready this time as she took a deep breath before it happened. When it happened a third time Tricia shook her head. “Tina must have had too many of those sweets which make you giggle last night”, she thought.The girls said goodnight to Penny, as it was that time again and went back to Tricia’s dorm.

They were very happy when matron said that Tina could change in Tricia’s room for Saturday was always busy in the big girls club and the girls wanted to look their best. Matron also said that it was alright for Tricia to stay with Tina on Sunday night. They were lucky girls! In fact Matron had a soft spot for them both. Though sometimes they were rather too high spirited they worked hard on their studies and were a credit to the school.The girls tried to get some sleep but were too excited so instead practiced putting on their new make-up and helped each other get dressed in their glad rags before going back to the tuck shop for one final ginger pop and then on to the big girls club.

They weren’t however aware of the trouble ahead at the tuck shop. For there, looking at herself in the mirror, was Sonia.The girls tried to hide from her but to no avail. “Are they straight”, Sonia said to them. Sonia was the leader of a gang of girls, the most horrid in the school. It was said that if a boy gave one of the gang a sweet which made you giggle, she would let the boy play with her. This is something our girls were not at all sure about. It was alright for teachers, but boys? Sonia also spent nearly all the time looking into the mirror; even longer than Tina, Tricia thought. In fact Sonia spent more time looking in the mirror than she did not looking in the mirror. The one problem if you spend all the time looking in the mirror is that you can’t see behind you. Tina and Tricia were repeatedly asked if the seams of her stockings were straight. They always were, in fact they were the oly part of her which could be described as straight. The girls finally managed to break away from Sonia to go to the big girls club, but she seemed rather too interested in them. This was not good.

Saturday was the busiest night in the big girls club and it was already filling nicely when Tina and Tricia arrived. They met loads and loads of friends, old and new and had a spiffing time. Then Tina met an old boy she had played with before when she had a lot of fun but ended up with her knees a little sore. He owned another big girls club in the West End of the biggest city and claims to have played with more than 3,000 girls (which would mean, on average, approximately one new girl per week if he started at the age of twelve). Tina wanted to play with him for one more time. Tricia didn’t mind so kissed Tina goodbye and wished her oodles of fun.

There were two reasons Tricia didn’t mind. Most important, Tina was her best chum and she wanted her to be happy; but also she had been doing private dancing lessons and was looking forward to practicing her moves on the lovely dance floor with mirrors all round (perfect for Sonia, Tricia thought). So Tricia went upstairs and was very pleased with the way she was dancing. The extra lessons and her practicing had paid off. She was joined on the dance floor by six big girls who had just left school. Tricia let them play with her and one-by-one each of the girls danced behind Tricia pretending to be a horrid boy while the others cheered. Tricia didn’t mind. It was good fun finding out what it will be like when I’m a big girl, she thought. Then Tricia saw someone she thought she recognized, shuffling in front of her with eyes low. By the time it had registered the girl had gone and, despite searching the big girls club high and low, Tricia couldn’t find her again. Tricia couldn’t be absolutely certain but was fairly sure it was the girl, Joanne, whom she had helped get dressed on her first day at school. She so hoped that it was Joanne and was sure, if it was, that Joanne would be starting to feel happier at school.Tricia, exhausted, slumped into a soft sofa; it was very late for a girl her age. A boy slumped alongside her. “Mind if I sit here” he said. There were other sofa’s available so Tricia was a little surprised he chose that one but since he was quite dishy (she giggled to herself) she let him. Before long the boy had one arm around Tricia’s shoulder. When the boy snuggled further up to her she went all gooey inside, and when he started stroking her thigh under her dress, she simply melted. The boy wanted to play with her and she really wanted to let him. Then she remembered; she couldn’t have anyone else in her dorm with her and there was no chance of her being allowed in the boys’ school. “Oh no, no, no, you silly, silly girl”.

Reluctantly, and sadly, Tricia went back to her dorm. She had also forgotten to get a battery so no Buzzy rabbit tonight either. “I have never known Buzzy so quiet”, she mused. She changed into her baby-doll and suddenly her mood lightened. She had learnt so much today, she thought. She never wanted to leave school before, but now she is finding out how fun it is being a big girl, she is much happier. Then she realised what it was all about. She was growing up!Anyway, there is the big hockey match tomorrow. Jolly, jolly hockey sticks!And with a trace of a smile on her face; our by now young lady, fell quickly and silently into a deep, contented sleep.

Chapter Three - Happy Talk

Happy Talk

2008-06-28T08:58:00.001+01:00

Ha-ha I know the end of this particular story but I'm not letting on... Just entered a beauty competition (no chance). By the way..

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Bloody Mary:
Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the moon floatin' in the sky
Lookin' at a lily on the lake;
Talk about a bird learnin' how to fly.
Makin' all the music he can make.

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the sparrow lookin' like a toy
Pickin' through the broaches of a tree;
Talk about the girl, talk about the boy
Countin' all the ripples on the sea.

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Talk about the boy sayin' to the girl:
"Golly, baby, I'm a lucky cause."
Talk about the girl sayin' to the boy:
"You an' me is lucky to be us!"

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?

If you don't talk happy,
And you never have dream,
Then you'll never have a dream come true!

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So talk to me!

"There's a land that I dreamed of once in a lullabye"

Hugs, Trish xx

Part 3 – The day of the big hockey match; in which Penny is found in the closet, Tina may have been recruited and the girls begin to wonder whether they like strawberry jam.

So the day of the big hockey match arrived and Tricia awoke, bleary eyed,
after far too little sleep for a girl her age. First thing to do was to decamp
to Tranny Towers but getting hold of Tina was proving a problem. Tina must
have had a jolly fun night, she thought. Eventually she managed and checked
out of her dorm in school uniform for the first time. Then she picked up
some money from Matron and got a lift to Tina's.

Poor Tina, her knees were sore again. Tricia wondered what game they were
playing which kept making Tina's knees sore, but was too shy to ask. The
girls were really looking forward to the big hockey match. “Rah, Rah, Rah”
they shouted.

There was a special school bus to take them in because of the big hockey match.
Tricia was very surprised when Tina hid her legs behind a rubbish bin in
case the boys saw them. Normally, thought Tricia, the boys could see Tina's
school knickers never mind her legs. But then she woke up. It was because
her knees were so sore and red, she realised. I am a silly sausage sometimes
and must get some more sleep, she thought to herself.

They met up with Penny at the Tuck Shop. Penny was too young for the big
hockey match, but as chance would have it she met up with some older friends,
Glenda and Mark, who agreed to look after her while it was on. Also at the
tuck shop was Sonia again. “No, no, no” thought the girls. Sonia invited
Tina out, but all they did was sit down showing their knickers and wave at
all the passing cars. Tina came back puzzled because they had to get to the
big hockey match.

Tina and Tricia cheered all the way through. Not only did the girls win by
two goals to nil but it also meant they had won the whole competition. Even
better; the girls from the horrid school at the other side of the City, where
they wore sweat shirts and trousers lost eight one. “Ha ha ha” said Tina,
“That'll teach them for lifting our skirts and laughing at our school knickers”
“Ha, ha, ha” said Tricia, who wondered why she got special attention.

While Tricia and Tina were watching the big hockey match, Penny wasn't seeing
much at all. Somehow she had managed to lock herself in the wardrobe and
it took Mark and Glenda a good hour to find her. They were very cross when
they did and Penny got a frightful spanking which made her cry. Poor Penny,
thought Tricia.

To celebrate the girls went back to school for more fizzy pop. To steer clear
of Sonia they went to another tuck shop but it seemed Sonia could read their
mind. She asked Tina to go down to the little girls room with her. Fortunately
for Tina, the little girls room had a very big mirror which distracted
Sonia, and, after telling her that her seams were straight seven times, Tina
re-appeared and hugged Tricia tightly. The girls wondered if Sonia wanted
to recruit Tina into her gang; but it seemed like they had got away with
it, this time at least.

So Tina and Tricia went back to Tranny Towers to spend a girls' night in.
They listened to music and talked and talked; Tina on a chair, Tricia lying
on the bed. To be fair they a did talk about school and the curriculum ahead,
but mostly they talked about boys. Tricia realised that Tina was growing
up just like her, in fact maybe even faster. While they were talking Tina
looked down on Tricia lying on the bed. “Gosh”, she said, “there is a stain
on your school knickers”

Tricia lifted her skirt and inspected her panties. “Golly, its strawberry
jam” she said. She paused for a few moments. “But I haven't had any strawberry
jam today and I always have strawberry jam” she added.

Both girls thought for a while.

“Maybe that's how strawberry jam is made” said Tina.

“Not from me”, said Tricia, “I've only just made some strawberry jam and
its only a little bit. I can't be expected to make the whole world strawberry
jam, can I - anyway, how do they get it into jars?”

“Not just you silly goose, but all girls of our age”, replied Tina, wondering
why she hadn't made any strawberry jam yet. “they go to the jam factory”.

“Gosh, I am a silly goose aren't I?”said Tricia “Its obvious. Girls of our
age queue up to go into the jam factory where they scrape it off our knickers
and put it into jars”. Tricia thought a moment longer; “but where is the
jam factory and why haven't I been told to give up my strawberry jam?”, she
added. “Anyway I don't want to”

“Best not tell Matron then” said Tina.

Both girls paused for thought again.

“I'm not sure I like strawberry jam any more”, said Tina.

“Me neither”, said Tricia “have you got a spare pair of school knickers?”.

After more chit chat the girls were ready for bed. They made a pretty picture
as they cuddled and it was clear to the outsider how fond they were of each
other.

But they were both thinking the same things as they held each other tight.
They were both growing up together, which was nice, and they cared about
each other deeply. They were thinking about how hard they would work for
their exams at school ......

No they weren't, they were thinking about boys!

But they were such good girls.

Chapter Four - There's a Place For Us

There's A Place For Us

2008-06-27T22:24:00.001+01:00

Piccy is of me (Tricia, in case you didn't know) outside the hairdressers. Not very elegent I know but the important thing is that it was in the middle of Manchester on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Anyway I'm working on things in other areas of my life. The story may have to get longer but I'll know more in the next day or so.Its a funny world isn't it; but by the way; and although Streislands's version is way over the top, I love it!

There's a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere.

There's a time for us,
Some day a time for us,
Time together with time spare,
Time to learn, time to care,
Some day!

Somewhere.
We'll find a new way of living,
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere . . .

There's a place for us,
A time and place for us.
Hold my hand and we're halfway there.
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow,
Some day,
Somewhere!

I wanna hold your hand (well I'm an English lass after all)

Part 4 – In which there is sadly no Penny, Tina has another haircut, Tricia (Trinny) almost has her hair cut and they are allowed out from school again (hoorah!). Oh and they meet a Welsh sheep and could have watched a stripper – but they are far too good for that!

Penny was on an exchange trip so wouldn’t be around for a few days which left just Tina and Tricia to have fun together. Jolly good girls to a T. Matron had finally decided that Tricia was well enough to share a dorm,; originally it was going to be for four people but for some reason it later transpired that it was only for two. That was a pity as we shall see, but the good news for the girls was that to get Tricia used to sharing again, Tina was allowed to stay for the first couple of nights.

So Tricia decamped in her new dorm and met up with Tina again. Luckily there was a tuck shop downstairs so, having packed away their clothes like good girls, they wen downstairs to enjoy some fizzy pop. There they met up with Terry who was grazing for the night.
“Baa”, bleated Terry.
The girls looked at each other. What do you do when someone baa’s at you they though. Eventually, and a little unwisely, Tina went “baa” back and both girls giggled.
“You know I’m Welsh boyo, said Terry, "baa”.

“We couldn’t tell actually”, said Tricia. “Baa sounds the same in most accents”. The girls looked at each other and knew it was time for a hasty exit.
“Baa baa” they said
“Baa” said Terry; he seemed happy enough.
And the girls ran off to their favourite tuck shop as quickly as their legs could carry them; which wasn’t easy in such high-heels.

When they arrived they were very glad to see a lot of their chums. Everyone seemed to be coming in together. Mark and Glenda, Josh, and Paula who we haven’t yet met. Paula is a peer of Tina and Tricia and is jolly good friends with both them. “Baa”, said Paula, and all the girls went into fits of giggles. The girls could only admire Paula's beautiful breasts and hoped to have some like hers when they grew up.

Now Tina, vain girl that she was, wanted yet another new hairstyle; so our brave girls yet again had to run the gauntlet in the big City. Matron was very kind, and smiling, gave them a pass. She knew they were growing up and wanted to encourage them. Tina was still very nervous about stepping out of school thus it was a good job Tricia was with her. So Tricia held her hand as they walked out of the school gates; their first task being to buy Tina some (almost) new school uniform.

They decide to try the second-hand school outfitters as the girls had spent most of their money on fizzy pop. Tricia had never been here before but it was good fun! Tricia bought a school blouse which said “American Airline Hostess” on it. Tina bought a bright yellow mini-skirt and then spent an hour looking for something to match.

Tricia went out for some fresh air and while she was standing there five horrid girls from the bad school on the other of the City walked past. The closest one looked at Tricia and giggled. “Look at that silly girl in her school uniform on a Saturday” she said. One by one the other girls looked back at Tricia, but, and as you know, Tricia is a very brave girl. So she waved to all them. Tricia thinks they were giggling rather too much though.

Tina knew of another second-hand school outfitters which was supposedly up-market. Tricia, who was fast becoming Trinny – and desperately missing Susanah - wasn't so sure. The clothes looked the same but Tina bought a lovely new school dress which she promises she will wear the next time the girls meet. Where was Susanah!

So to the hairdressers for Tina's new haircut. Tricia spent most of the time outside, enjoying watching girls and boys watching a girl. Tina came out looking delightful; with a fuller darker style. Trinny thought it suited her.

So, back to the top shop and back to their friends. Tina's new hair got a resounding (how English can I be?) yes except from Paula who didn't recognise her. at all The girls also met up with Habib and the Prodder. Habib was bright, intelligent and witty. Three things which couldn't describe the Prodder. Unfortunately Tricia was the perfect target for the Prodder because, which she didn't realise, there was a small gap between her buttons which was showing off her tummy. Prod went Prodders finger into the gap again and again and again......and again.

To try to distract him Tina took out her bright yellow mini-skirt and bemoaned the fact that nothing would go with it.
“Green would be good”, said Habib
“You'd look like a canary”, said the Prodder
“Cheep”; said Tricia, and they all giggled.

Then Prodder found a loose thread on the hem of Tricia's dress and tried to unravel it. Prodder wanted to reveal Tricia's deepest secrets; but our brave girl wasn't ready yet. Josh arrived and with Habib managed to get rid of the Prodder and protect Tricia's innocence. But for how long?

Then the girls had to go. Josh arranged an extra lesson with Tina and Habib was really worried about his partner. Was she really going to leave him? The girls went back to Tricia's dorm and had a lie down before glamming themselves up for Saturday night at the big girls club.

What could possibly happen?

Diddlydiddlydiddlydiddlydee

Chapter Five - Two Ladies

Two Ladies

2008-06-26T04:36:00.001+01:00

All, please be aware that this is theraputic for Tricia who has failed in her attempt to become a beauty queen. But she knows that is the right decision - she needs more time and more exposure (next few days will bring some) and more burlesque, hopefully arranged for Tuesday. So is she down.... read on, and she knows! Is she pissed off, don't ask. Now, in the real "Over the Rainbow" the twister comes at the start of the film. But we are somewhere in the middle of this lot, actually haven't a clue yet precisely where, so the timing isn't good. But then I suppose it depends how long the film is (sorry). No piccies this time; there simply wasn't room. .... Oh, and by the way,

Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee,Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee,
Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
Two ladies.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
Two ladies.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
And I'm the only man, ja!
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
I like it.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
They like it.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
This two for one!
I do the cooking.
And I make the bed.
I go out daily to earn our daily bread.
But we've one thing in common
He, She And me,
The key, The key, The key
.Eins, Zwei, Drei,Los!Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!
We switch partners daily To play as he please,
Twosie beats onsie,
But nothing beats threes.I sleep in the middle,
I'm left,
And I'm right.
But there's room on the bottom If you drop in some night!
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.Two ladies.Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
Two ladies.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
And he's the only man, ja!
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
I like it.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
They like it.
Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.
This two for one!
Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee!

You see, I'm so pissed off I don't make it easy for you! You need to know that there was room at the bottom and that I couldn't find anything more decadent than Cabaret - don't know a song with four in a bed! So this is my diddlydiddlydiddlydiddlydee. 'b' doesn't work on my laptop - or on me.

Part 5 - In which our girls have a jolly good time!

It started off a fairly quiet, normal night in the big girls club. Tricia was doing her dancing queen act upstairs (rather well actually) while Tina was chatting up the boys downstairs. Occasionally they would meet in the middle for some ginger pop and to discuss options. By the end of the evening there appeared to be two boys who were interested in our brave and sexy girls; Pete and Steve.
“I know”, said Tina, “lets go back to Tricia's dorm and we can play Twister”
“Yummy”, said Tricia, “I used to love playing Twister when I was a little girl, that sounds fun”

So the intrepid foursome did indeed return back to Tricia's dorm and fortunately it was that late at night that matron was asleep.
(Aside – for those of you who don't know the rules to Twister there is a good write-up on Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twister_(game), including the game's history. The girls however, were playing a slightly different version as we will now discover).

Tricia's first thought on entering her room was, how were they going to play Twister when she didn't have a twister mat or one of those funny spinner things? When everybody starting taking their clothes off Tricia became really confused. Tina took Tricia aside,
“This is a type of Twister big girls like us play”, she said.
“Gosh”, said Tricia and immediately removed her sexy black dress, “can I wear my nightie?”
“If you like” said the boys, “it will give us a challenge”
“Not a very big challenge”, said Tina
“But I haven't got a mat or one of those funny spinner things” said Tricia.
“Suppose we'll have to use the bed and our imagination”, said Tina.
“Of course”, said Tricia, “what a silly goose I am”. Tricia was trying to sound far older than her years.

However for the next four hours she could certainly have been described as a goose (what do geese do?), as for the silly bit – I'll leave you to make up your own mind. There were arms and legs and bodies and .... everywhere. Boy with girl, girl with boy, boy with boy, girl with girl, oh the positions they managed to find. Gosh, thought Tricia, I'll be really good at the young girls Twister now! The game was well refereed by Steve who would occasionally shout “move over” and they would all change places. Eventually, but only for an hour, the game stopped and the four fell asleep exhausted.

When they woke up again, Tricia felt more like a cow than a goose. She felt she could produce milk at will; she was still worried about strawberry jam but milk felt just right now. And indeed she did. Milk was Steve's favourite drink, especially first thing in the morning!
“Moo” Steve would go, and Tricia would perform and Steve would drink it all up with a big smile on his face. Tina produced some milk for Pete too. Golly gosh, thought Tricia, I like this game of Twister far more than the other, I must be growing up!

And indeed she was. But we must leave this happy foursome to say their final goodbyes. The biggest day of Tricia's young life was about to happen. She was about to dream, a dream she dreamed of once in a lullaby. Anyway, the story is starting to resemble a farm. Sheep, geese and cows all in one day – far too much like Emmerdale!.

Chapter Six - Que Sera Sera
To be continued ..........

Que Sera Sera

2008-06-25T05:05:00.005+01:00

Now I've swapped the next two chapters of the story since its my story and I can do what I like! It also works better.; so you'll have to wait for the slushy bit.

You may know by know that I am an English girl so my morals are based on the Empire and a stiff upper lip. This is instilled into children at posh English schools like mine by using the arts and in particular by using poetry written at the height of England's power and in particular by using Rudyard Kipling. His most famous poem, If, can be found below, with a bit of a bonus from Faure:

but I needed two lines more than any now; namely:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same

So we'll start with disaster; its a shorter chapter than triumph anyway. Picture is one of my entries for Head Girl (actually its me outside the tuck shop). Oh, and by the way ....

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Grrr, but never mind.

Part 6 - DISASTER – in which our heroine's first attempt to be head girl fails.

Now our young girl was either very brave, very stupid or both; she was told that in her last discussion group. Though young for her age, she was jolly keen to become the head girl of the school. She wasn't even a prefect yet but she entered the competition nevertheless. What was worse was that the naïve young madam thought she had a chance of getting to the finals; so she entered her application form in the nick of time. It read as follows:

=====================================
Miss Sparkle 2008 Contestant Entry Form
NB. Please provide as much information as possible as this is all that the independent judging panel will have to go on when deciding if you should be selected as a finalist. Any false or misleading information could result in disqualification.
Name Tricia Dale
Are you TV, TS etc. TV
Age 50
Height/Weight 5ft 10in – 9.5st
Eye/Hair Colour Auburn/ hazel
Where are you from? Chesterfield, Derbyshire
Occupation IT Team Leader
Describe yourself in three words? Open, Caring, Committed
What are your Hobbies/Interests & do you have any interesting skills?
You know my main interests; but I also like cricket and baseball, classical music (especially Opera) and literature. Oh, and real ale, red wine, port and cheese. I can't get enough cheese. I am currently learning Burlesque and am taking private courses in Sheffield. I have been given exercises to strengthen my legs and improve my posture which will enable me to dance in very high stilettos. I think I am now ready for my next lesson. Fabulous! I can bowl an un-pickable googly, which is difficult in a bra and I'm told I do a particularly interesting version of “Wild Thing” by the Troggs.
Have you had any surgery (if yes please provide details)?
When I was younger I had a lump removed from my neck.
How do you think your friends would describe you?
Fun to be with, sometimes very serious but sometimes ridiculously silly. It keeps people on their toes! They will know that I care deeply about them and that it is important to me that they are happy. They will trust me and they will know I'm there if they have problems, or more likely “that slapper over there”.
What are you best qualities & why?
I am open, honest, fair and approachable but I am most proud of my enthusiasm. I try in all walks of life, At work, at play, with my children, everything is important to me. In short, I care. I have found that is the best way to be loved.. I smile because I know that rubs off on other people. Actually my best quality is that I have the body of a supermodel (no boobs included) because people are then naturally attracted to me.
If there was one thing that you could change about yourself (other than gender related changes) what would it be?
I can change anything about myself – except; I can't change the past. I'd like to be younger and go through this all over again. Actually I'd love to be younger and go through this all again.
If you could have three wishes what would they be?
Either:
- A proper education for all in the world. I'm sure thats more important than anything else.
- No negative discrimination on any grounds (hence no wars and no hate)
- The elimination of poverty and greed.
Or
- To play the part of Sally Bowles on Broadway
- A designer handbag costing at least £3000 with matching shoes
- To be Victoria Beckham for a night; as long as the kids are with her Mum
Is there anything that makes you stand out in the crowd?
My intelligence, my body and the fact that I am a leader. Chicken legs. My six inch stilettos, now I can stand in them.
Why do you want to be Miss Sparkle 2008?
After years suppressing what is inside me I have finally come out and am loving every minute of it. However I regret the wasted years when I denied who I was. So there are two reasons I would like to be Miss Sparkle; firstly to continue the path I am on by being able to openly express myself to whoever and in different ways; but also to help other transgendered people not fall into the same trap I did. I believe Miss Sparkle would provide an ideal vehicle to enable me to do this. Also I love showing off and would just adore the photo-shoot opportunities, the frocks, the make-overs, the style, the glamour.... I just can't wait!
Is there any additional information that you would you like to provide in support of your entry?
It has been only nine months since I made the decision to deal with my gender issues. I have moved a vast distance since then and am very proud of the person I am becoming. It has not been easy as I have to juggle with family life and work for the moment. Maybe this Sparkle is a bit too early for me but I do want to push myself to the limit (and have fun!). But, what the heck, and after all; Life is a Cabaret, old chum, AND I LOVE A CABARET!

=====================================

She also attached two photos. One of her looking dead sexy (well she thought so anyway) posing outside the tuck shop. The other of her on a freezing day in the playground. In the latter she thought she looked enigmatic; in fact she looked more like a car mechanic. It was this photo which was to prove her downfall.

Now, what everybody knows is that you can't become head girl on words alone. Tricia, being so young, was unaware of this. What of course she should have done was put on her best school uniform, have a makeover from the girls studying fashion and beauty in the top year, and visited the school photographer for a proper head and shoulders picture. A picture which could paint a thousand words. Well she didn't so she is not yet ready to be head girl. But she is still young and there is plenty more time yet. Chin up girl!!

Chapter Seven - When You Wish Upon a Star

When You Wish Upon A Star

2008-06-24T08:47:00.001+01:00

And the bell rings for the end of term. If this were a play, all the naughty boys would go to the bike sheds for a sneaky fag while the scenery got moved about. It is not a play but has given me an idea (dangerous). The trouble is I’m no good at dialogue which is a bit of a handicap. The picture is me back at the hotel trying on my new purchases.

This was the most amazing experience of my life so far. Where it will lead who knows but it took me days to come back to earth. By the way, and I warned you. You will see that there are cerain singers I really like and will keep using them. Louis Armstrong is one.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those to love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

“And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”

PART 7 – TRIUMPH - In which our heroine learns to fly solo

It was a big day in young Tricia’s life. She had earlier asked Matron for a pass to go out of school, on her own and Matron said Yes! Matron actually thought that girls grew up rather too quickly these days, but as we know she liked Tricia’s spunk. She felt Tricia was just about ready and she was such a good girl too.

So Tricia, dressed in her best school uniform, made up to perfection (who’s kidding who) entered the tuck shop a little nervously to prepare herself for the big expedition. There she found Josh which was a bit of a surprise. Josh was supposed to be at Tranny Towers giving Tina an extra-curriculum lesson. Tricia, being Tina’s best friend warned her via text. Just another fizzy pop said Josh when Tina called him. When Tricia started her momentous walk Josh was still there. Poor Tina, thought Tricia, I suppose she’s learning just how hard it is to be a big girl.

She also met her old school chum Habib who had since left. She wasn’t sure about habib. He was a bit Shirley Bassey and a bit Tom Jones. He was also a bit Albert Einstein which is why Tricia liked him so much. He was on the precipice too as he was going out with a big girl who had also just left school. They had had an argument. Would she come back? Would she not? Would Habib be happy? Would he not? Tricia left this predicament at the tuck shop. After all, there’s only so much a young girl can do, isn’t there?

It was 16:00 on Monday 26th May (Bank Holiday Monday) when our brave girl walked out of the school gates, on her own for the first time, and into the sunshine. She looked as good as she could but she wasn’t fooling anyone. She was a very young girl in a big big world. Bravely she went to the great big shopping centre in the middle of the third biggest City in England. All of the girls who have left the school told her it was amazing. Tricia couldn’t believe it. It was fantastic! Shop after shop with beautiful clothes everywhere. She loved it!

Into the first shop she strode where she saw a lovely sundress. She tried it on; it fit but it wasn’t quite her so she took it back. She went into shop after shop. She was quite good at shopping and knew very quickly if she liked something or not. In one shop she found some dead sexy white jeans. She thought she had dropped a size so asked to try them on. A look of surprise but again no problem; though she didn’t know she needed to take two other items of clothing in with her. Fortunately they were provided by the shop assistant. She struggled to get into them but when she managed it she loved them. They fit her perfectly and clung to her every contour. Yes, she had dropped a size. She was now a size 8 (UK) size 4 (US), lucky girl! She had to buy them. She found a khaki jump-suit in another again she tried it on and it fitted so she bought that too. Tired she went to Nero’s to have a cappuccino and, while drinking it, touched up her make-up in front of everybody.

She wanted to carry on shopping but had a predicament. She also wanted a wee but didn’t have the right change for the Ladies and daren’t use the Gents. The only thing to do was to go back to the Tuck Shop. The shops were starting to close anyway. But Tricia was on an absolute high, ignoring the occasional comments of “look there’s a schoolgirl in her school uniform on a bank holiday” she could hear as she clip clopped her was back to the school gates.

“Yay, yay, yay”, thought Tricia and paused.

“Golly gosh, I’m a big girl now, I have passed the test. I can use the back of the tuck shop. All that beer and wine; all those cigarettes and drugs available to me, super duper!” She was such a good girl though; and for now could be found way up high on the other side of the rainbow”

P.S. When she got back to the tuck shop, Josh had gone for his lesson with Tina and Habib’s girlfriend had indeed come back. So it was a good day for all!

Chapter Eight - One Hand, One Heart

One Hand, One Heart

2008-06-23T21:11:00.003+01:00

Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Someone told me on chat that troubles can’t melt like lemondrops, so I thought about it and they do. When I go on holiday I take my troubles with me. Are the kids enjoying themselves? How are they getting on back at work? What’s the money situation? When I go Manchester I’m so focused on being Tricia that literally everything else disappears.

This is the start of the three most amazing days of my entire life. Hugely emotional, I don’t think I have ever laughed or cried so much. I am extremely lucky to have found a wonderful friend in Tina. It is so much easier and you learn so much more when you share each other’s experience. We are so close we are beginning to be called sisters, and that is how it feels. By the way, the song could be about me and the constant boy/girl struggle but in fact is for Antonia and how I felt during our meeting, I think she’ll approve and yes, I know I have already used West Side Story but its about as good as they get and Manchester is on the west side of England. So its relevant, isn’t it! And I think Natalie Wood is so pretty!

Make of our hands one hand,
Make of our hearts one heart,
Make of our vows one last vow:
Only death will part us now.

Make of our lives one life,
Day after day, one life.

Now it begins, now we start
One hand, one heart;
Even death won't part us now.

Make of our lives one life,
Day after day, one life.
Now it begins, now we start
One hand, one heart,
Even death won't part us now.

Part 8 – In which our girls are re-united, Tina strikes it lucky (or so she thinks)and Tricia meets a working girl

The backstage boys worked hard to prepare the scene before Tricia’s arrival. The tuck shop would soon become a pub called Paddy’s Goose which the girls would simply refer to as Paddys. The big girls club was to become a night club called Napoleans which the girls would refer to as Naps. The playground would become the campus. Yes, Tricia had finished school and was travelling up for her first day as a college student. The very good news for her was that Tina was joining her. They had arranged to meet at Tricia’s digs, The New Union, at 18:00 that evening. “Golly gosh”, thought Tricia possibly for the last time, “I’m so excited!”

Tricia arrived at around 15:00 and checked in. She made herself hairless then had a shower. She hung up her skirts and dresses and neatly folded her t-shirts. Then slowly, carefully but with relish dressed and made-herself up. She was to remain dressed for the duration of her stay. What to wear; she was fed up lugging her suitcase around but now, when she looked at the array of choices she had, she realised it was worth it. She wanted to show off her (chicken) legs and wanted to try something new, so opted for her green khaki jump suit. Then for the best bit, oh how she loved doing this! As she put on her wig and applied her lipstick in the mirror she thought she could see Lara Croft looking back at her. She was mistaken but she didn’t look half bad.

My how the girls hugged when they met each other again and how they talked. They were sitting outside drinking, the sun was shining, when they bumped into Sally, or more precisely Sally bumped into them. Sally, a gg, was going through a difficult time. Suffice it to say that she hated men, but quite liked trannies because they were kind and gentle. They talked and in time the sun went down and Sally’s legs were cold. “That’s ok”, said Tricia, resourceful girl that she was “you can borrow a pair of my tights, my room is only upstairs and Tina has to drop her stuff off anyway”. So the girls went up to drop off Tina’s clothes and Tricia shoved a pair of new tights in her handbag. When they returned downstairs however, Sally was nowhere to be found.

So back to Paddys for the first time in a while. Inside, Tricia was quite proud of herself for she had once read somewhere that a spare pair of tights was one of the most popular posessions a woman kept in her bag. She thought she was becoming a lady ha-ha-ha-ha. When they arrived Josh was there (surprised?) but Habib not, Habib had not got a pass which worried Tricia. So the girls and Josh had a chat.

Paddy’s Goose is an old fashioned English pub, probably in its prime in the 40’s and 50’s. You could easily imagine the scene then in the smoke filled single bar. Sadly smoking is no longer allowed inside English pubs but, the girls found, the best way to meet people was to have a cigarette in the small smoking area outside. Music of the 50’s and 60’s is played an acceptable level, easy to talk over but also possible to listen to. They even play “Over the Rainbow” sometimes. The girls like to sit in the corner where they can watch the guys coming in. Chic it is not, but it is clean, friendly and serves excellent food with good beer. It is an honest pub. It is also probably the most famous gay pub in Manchester.

The girls had a good gossip and got to know each other again before going back to Tricia’s to change for the night. They wanted an easy first night so not too much to drink and to leave early. Tricia wore her pretty blue dress; most un-Tricia like she thought but she loved wearing it. Tina was onto a promise she said. She was waiting for a call from Harvey. Back to Paddys for one final pint then onto Naps.

Napoleans looks a small unimposing building from the outside but reveals its charms if you manage to get through the bouncers on the door. Tricia was once refused entry after having had far too much ginger pop for her own good. There is a downstairs bar where you can talk quietly, a middle bar with video screens strategically placed playing music and luxurious settees where you can lounge. Tricia has been to ‘pull’ on these settees more than once. The upstairs bar is the home to the mirrored dance floor. There is a large smoking area outside, and like Paddy’s it is another area useful for chatting and picking up guys. Tricia’s backside has been pinched on more than one occasion out there. Chic it is not, but at its best it is viberant, noisy and fun. It is also probably the most famous tranny venue in Manchester.

Tricia and Tina worked as a team with Tina covering the ground floor and Tricia the top floor. Occasionally they would meet in the middle or in the smoking area and compare notes to ensure they are both aware of all the available talent. This particular night Naps was quiet, but not that quiet that Tina couldn’t pull and at about 2:00 in the morning she took her guy back to Tranny Towers. Tricia was dancing with a girl and suggested, since it was late, they went back to Tricia’s room. Antonia agreed.

There then followed the most exhilarating few hours in Tricia’s young life. It turned out that Antonia used to be a violin player in a concert orchestra. She gave it all up to become a transsexual prostitute. She originally came from Russia but has lived in England most of her life. None of that matters. What matters is that she is a beautiful, intelligent, loving, caring, giving person. They talked for hour after hour; they laughed, they cried, they went deep inside each other, they talked shop, they kissed, they hugged, they smoked (Tricia’s first time) and they drank. “Sometimes”, said Antonia, “it’s nice not to sleep with a man”. Tricia felt so proud. At about 6:00 Tricia led Antonia out of her apartment. They kissed and cuddled each other one final time and vowed to meet again. “Wow”, thought Tricia, “college is such fun and I haven’t even been here a day yet. I think I’m going to love it!”.

With that school disappeared over the horizon.

Tricia and Antonia have arranged to meet again in two weeks time. A bit of a dispute over Mahler!

Chapter Nine - The Sun has got Her Hat On

Your Tiny Hand is Frozen

2008-06-22T09:18:00.001+01:00

Ok, just to annoy Tina lets go a bit up market for the by the way this time. Quite a quiet evening actually. Piccy is of Tricia and Tina enjoying themselves in the changing room:

How cold your little hand is,
let me warm it for you.
What's the use of looking?
We won't find it in the dark.
But luckily
it's a moonlit night,
and the moon
is near us here.

Wait, mademoiselle,
I will tell you in two words
who I am, what I do,
and how I live. May I?

Who am I? I am a poet.
What do I do? I write.
And how do I live? I live.
In my carefree poverty
I squander rhymes
and love songs like a lord.
When it comes to dreams and visions
and castles in the air,
I've the soul of a millionaire.
From time to time two thieves
steal all the jewels
out of my safe, two pretty eyes.
They came in with you just now,
and my customary dreams
my lovely dreams,
melted at once into thin air!
But the theft doesn't anger me,
for their place has been
taken by hope!
Now that you know all about me,
Speak, tell me who you are.
Please do!

SÃ¬. Mi chiamano TriciÃ¬,..........

Part Ten - In which the girls have a fun night together, though there is a dispute over a rabbit. They meet a character from a picture show, and Tina’s worst nightmare occurs.

Tina woke Tricia at eight. At least I had a couple of hours, Tricia thought. She quickly got herself ready, sparkly gold top, denim mini and patterned tights, to meet Tina at Paddys for nine. Tricia is now comfortably capable of getting ready in an hour.

“How was he”, said Tricia as they hugged.
“Yummy”, said Tina, “and he wants more”
“Were college girls now, we don’t use words like yummy”, replied Tricia.
“Your turning into my Mother”, said Tina with a smile on her face.
“Has Harvey rung yet?”.
“No, I’m surprised at that”.
“I don’t believe he exists”.
“He does!”.
“He’s just a figment of your imagination”.
“In fact he’s a rabbit”, added Tricia.
“He is not a figment of my imagination and he is not a rabbit. He’s hairy not furry”, replied Tina sternly.
“Yummy”, said Tricia
“He wants a threesome”
“Yummy, yummy, yummy” said Tricia, “Lets go for a smoke”.

Outside the girls were being eyed up and down in a familiar manner by a tall man.
“You two look dead sexy, are you sisters?” said the man
“No”, replied the girls in unison.
“I dress sometimes, but not like you, you are very brave”
“How do you mean?” asked Tina.
“I like Rocky Horror and sometimes go round the pubs in heavy make-up in my clothes”, said Frank-n-furtive
“What do people think?” asked Tricia.
“They think it’s a laugh, not as serious as you girls”
The girls laughed.
“Have you seen Harvey?” said Tricia.
“Whose Harvey?” replied Frank-n-furtive.
“A rabbit” said Tricia.
“He is not a rabbit” said Tina, angrily.
“He is a hairy rabbit” explained Tricia.
“Are you two sure your not sisters” said Frank-n-furtive.
“Certain” said the girls

And they decided to move on, back to Tricia’s lodgings for a drink. It was very quiet but they did find the weirdest thing. A cubicle with two toilets. So Tricia and Tina could continue to gossip while doing their business. It was quite good fun actually.

Then onto the AX bar and Tina picked up the key to the changing room. This was where girls visiting for the day could get changed. The lighting was superb and Tricia and Tina took many pictures of each other adjusting their make-up and dancing to the music going on in the bar. They were so happy together.

So onto Naps and the pair promised themselves an early night as they had plans for the morning. The usual tactics were employed and there was a fair bit of talent around, but as we know by now, they are such good girls.

They went out for a smoke where they met some theatrical people. If there’s one thing Tina doesn’t like its theatrical people. She is into heavy rock not arty-farty stuff as she calls it. So she kept quiet while Tricia discussed the great musicals with Rhyanne. To their left a make-up lesson was about to start from an Aussie guy who worked for MAC. Tina and Rhyanne tossed their make-up into the ring. The Aussie was quite impressed with what they had, but it was not as good as MAC apparently. Tricia was quite pleased with that.
As the make-up artist took some mascara from Rhyanne he said “your little hand is frozen”.
“Actually”, said Tricia, “its your tiny hand is frozen. Bet you don’t know who wrote that?”
“Was it Steps?”
Tricia and Rhyanne shook their heads in despair.

Tina had had enough culture and suggested they went back. Tricia was tired too and agreed. They had a chat with a glass of wine for a while before Tina dropped off. She was lying diagonally across the bed. If Tricia was to get any sleep that night she had to turn her straight. Some things, thought Tricia, are beyond even me.

Chapter Eleven - Oh What a Beautiful Morning

The Sun Has Got Her Hat On

2008-06-21T20:53:00.002+01:00

Lets lighten up a bit; but the weekend was like that. One minute intense, the next hilarious. Piccy was taken the following day when Paddys was quiet but would be like when I was preparing myself for my next fun trip.

The day happened pretty much as written. I have elaborated the telephone conversations (though we did have a laugh on similar lines afterwards) but the texts were exactly as sent. I copied them from my phone. As you can probably gather I was in a bit of a euphoric mood.

Oh and a famous TV reality series had just started in the UK. I’ll leave you to guess what it is!

So, and by the way, how jolly English!

Joy bells are ringing,
The songs birds are singing,
And ev'ryone's happy and gay.
Dull days are over,
We'll soon be in clover,
So pack all your troubles away.

The sun has got his hat on
Hip-hip-hip-hooray!
The sun has got his hat on,
He's coming out today.

Now we'll all be happy,
Hip-hip-hip-hooray!
The sun has got his hat on,
And he's coming out today.

He's been roastin peanuts out in Timbuctoo,
Now he's coming back to do the same for you.
So jump into your sunbath
Hip-hip-hip-hooray!
The sun has got his hat on,
And he's coming out today.
Never saw the grass so green
Never saw the sky so blue
What a lot of fun to ev'ryone,
Sitting in the sun all day.

All the little boys excited,
All the little girls delighted,
What a lot of fun to ev'ryone,
Sitting in the sun all day.

Now we all be happy
Hip-hip-hip-hooray!
The sun has got his hat on,
And he's coming out today.

He's been roastin peanuts out in Timbuctoo
Now he's coming back to do the same for you.
So jump into your sunbath
Hip-hip-hip-hooray!
The sun has got his hat on,
And he's coming out today.

My male side will never appear in the story but will occasionally slip in by accident. – the quote near the end is from his favourite album when he was growing up. It is about living in a parallel universe and this is exactly how I a feel right now. There is the universe I am living here (and really living here), in Manchester, and the universe at home/work. They are absolutely totally different lives

Part Nine – In which Tricia takes the opportunity to go solo again while Tina is having one of those days you'd rather forget. It was Friday 13th after all.

Friday 13th June 2008. Communications from Tricia to Tina:

10:00 Text
Big sister diary day nine. Tricia learns about what big girls do for a living from a violin playing ex concert musician. Might as well get paid for it hon! Will give you a bell about eleven

11:10 Phone
Hi hon -
Yes I'll be quick,whose coming round? -
Not another admirer, you’ve only just seen one out the door haven’t you, Was it a good night? - .
Long and slim, shaped a bit like a trowel, sounds interesting –
yes can imagine it could hurt –
every position under the sun, but you weren’t under the sun were you? –
sorry I am silly, forty minutes to get comfy, suppose thats called foreplay, you did well hon, how long did he last? -
Only three minutes, not sure he’s worth it., was it a good three minutes though –
oh, flat, sorry, that figures -
Stay out of Paddy’s, whatever for, your beginning to sound like my Mother –
I know we’ve got a busy weekend but at the moment you seem rather busier than me, Mum! Who is he, Harvey? –
Alan, from Liverpool, can’t have seen your picture then ha-ha –
But have you seen his? It could be shaped like the leaning tower of Pisa, or a polo mint, imagine that, all the pain and none of the pl...-
Only teasing you darling -
You might be out later –
ok I'll text, don’t want to disturb your fun hon. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, as if, -
hugs hon, byeee

12:30 Text
Big sister diary day nine. In Paddys writing about disaster. Sorry Mum

12:50 Text
Big sister diary day nine pint two. In Paddys writing about triumph. Pulled if I want, I don’t, gross. Very sorry Mum.

13:20 Text
Big sister diary day nine pint three. In Paddys writing about triumph. Just noticed …
The sun has got his hat on
Hip hip hip hooray
The sun has got his hat on
Is Tina coming out today
Very very sorry Mum

13:50 Text
Big sister diary day nine pint four: In Paddys still writing about triumph.
The pub is full of trannies
Hip hip hip hooray
The pub is full of trannies
And no-one here is gay!
Very, very, very sorry Mum

14:30 Text
Hi hon. And the lamb lies down on broadway. Here I go!
Da da da da da da da da da da da
Will phone at 3

14:50 Text
Big sister diary day seven coffee one.
Everybody’s happy
Hip hip hip hooray
Everybody’s happy
because Tricia’s out to play.

15:45 Phone
Hi hon, I’m sitting in Starbucks in Arndale sipping coffee -.
Yes wonderful, no trouble at all, people know and a few are shocked when they get close but its great fun. –
Wearing my sexy white jeans, they’re drop dead gorgeous!. -
Yes, I’m beginning to enjoy being noticed –
Been in a few shops but not seen anything yet, anyway how did your Liverpudlian get on –
still there, crikey he must have some stamina –
Sorry hon, reception here isn’t good, every time he was about to cum the what phone beeped? –
well I did say I was going to text you –
Every twenty minutes is a bit excessive I suppose, but how was I to know it was going to take him twenty minutes, the last one only lasted three -
Keep your voice down, I'm in the middle of town, anyway why didn't you turn your phone off? -
Calm down, I suppose it is impossible to move when your in that position -
That’s ok, I didn’t get much sleep last night either. Suggest we get a couple of hours and meet up later. I’ll go to sleep about six –
meet nine, fine, rhyme ha-ha -
k Mum I’ll shut up -
bye hon love you loads.

17:30 Text
Big sister diary day nine pint five.
When I was just a little girl I asked my Mother what would I be. You would be proud of me Mum, Honest! About to go to sleep. Night, night. Your loving daughter xx.

Chapter Ten - Your Tiny Hand is Frozen

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

2008-06-20T20:49:00.005+01:00

Piccy is of me (Tricia) outside Napoleans (The Big Girls Club or simply Naps) looking suitably like a prostitute. I am wearing my "I just love these shoes, I have to have a pair" top and you know how much I love patterned tights! By the way, Bryn Terfel is another of my favourite singers.

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow,
There's a bright golden haze on the meadow,
The corn is as high as an elephant's eye,
An' it looks like its climbin' clear up to the sky.

Chorus:
Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
I've got a wonderful feeling,
Everything's going my way.

Repeat chorus

All the cattle are standing like statues,
All the cattle are standing like statues,
They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by.
But a little brown mav'rick is winking her eye.

Repeat chorus

All the sounds of the earth are like music,
All the sounds of the earth are like music,
The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree,
And an ol' Weepin' Willer is laughin' at me.

Repeat chorus

Part 11 – In which the young ladies travel far, make rash promises and meet up with Pete again.

“Cock-a-doodle-do” said Tina as she woke up at least three hours later than the laziest hen in the world.
“Cock-a-doodle-what?” said Tricia, “this is the first morning this week you haven’t had any cock-a-doodle-do”
“Maybe that’s why I feel so good, let’s hit town early, whose getting ready first”
“You seem full of the joys of spring so you go”, Tricia was barely awake.

Tricia had almost hummed up to the part where Mimi was dying in Act 4 of La Boheme by Puccini when Tina announced she was ready to face the world.
“Your turn”, she said
“I thought this was going to be an early morning raid” said Tricia who promptly got herself moving.

While Tricia was getting ready, Tina was poring over a map of Manchester like an Army General.
“Whatever are you doing?” asked Tricia, putting on her foundation.
“Trish, whatever you do, look after yourself girl. It’s a jungle out there!” said Tina, “and I’m trying to avoid ambushes of any kind”.
“No your not Tina”, replied Tricia, “You’re trying to avoid people of any kind”. Tricia was well aware that it actually is safest when there are lots of people around and also well aware that Tina would be well aware soon. She smiled to herself.
“Anyway, has Harvey phoned yet?”
“No, he still hasn't”
“He is an imaginary rabbit isn't he?”
“Shut it!, I love you really”

So, zigzagging their way through tracks strewn with weeds, unused by civilisation for hundreds of years, the girls finally hit the big city. “Ouch” said the big city. Now General Tina had a real problem. She looked left. People. She looked right. People. She looked straight ahead. People; but straight ahead there were slightly fewer people. “Let’s be brave Trish” she said and for possibly the first time in her young life, Tina went straight. Tricia bravely followed smiling to herself again.

First stop Primark to top up on panties and stockings. Tricia also found a lovely red top. It had a picture of a pretty girl just like Tricia (ha-ha) on it with a speech bubble coming out of her mouth. Four hearts were at the top of the speech bubble followed by:
“I just love those shoes”
“I have to have a pair”

Next on to Tina’s favourite charity shop. Tricia had a quick look round but didn’t see anything she wanted so went out for a smoke and to watch people watching her. Half a pack of cigarettes later a triumphant Tina emerged with a bag full of clothes, the content of which will become apparent later, but probably not here. “Its great shopping in the morning, people are so chilled” said Tina who was starting to chill herself. Indeed she was so relaxed that the girls decided to trek further into the City. Further than they’d ever gone before.

Now it’s not commonly known but when girls like these are walking through town they sing little tunes in their head. I think we can guess what Tricia was singing, after all it was a beautiful morning. Tricia was intrigued to find out what Tina was singing. It was a song by Nazareth:

Born under the wrong sign
Trouble is my middle name
Born under the wrong sign
Every day turns out the same
But its so hard to see the light
When you're born under the wrong sign
Wrong sign
Wrong sign
Cast outa the wrong mold
Sorry is no way that I feel
Cast outa the wrong mold
Singin my blues is for real
But its so hard to see the light
When you’re born under the wrong sign

Tricia seemed to be doing a lot of head shaking now she was a college girl. But at least they were going to the Northern Quarter; the cultural heart of the City.

There they found a nice little bar and were quietly sitting outside watching people watching them when they bumped into Alan. Alan was intrigued by the girls although he was quite disparaging about the way Tricia had powdered her nose and about Tina’s dress sense which he described as “eighties throwback”. Tricia thought that Tina would secretly be pleased with that description.

It was a long way back to the campus, about a 30 minute walk. Tina was still in charge of navigation and still steered clear of crowds. They stopped to buy some cigarettes and an umbrella. Inside the campus they decided to have a drink outside by the canal. Unknown to them there was a stag party going on in the bar next door. 23 guys and two pretty girls. What chance did they have? One of the guys wandered across and asked them to join the party, but the girls played hard to get.. “We’ve just been shopping and were very tired, can we have a moment to ourselves” said Tricia. The guy agreed but asked the girls to promise they would join them later. Foolishly the girls agreed.

Sometimes however life works in your favour. The guys in the stag party were that drunk that they forgot about the promise and eventually moved off down the road. Lucky girls! The guys had however taken a number of pictures of our belles which they have no doubt hung on their bedroom walls to give them something to dream about when they go to sleep. No doubt!

The girls went back to Tricia’s dorm to get ready for Naps. Tricia decides to wear her very slinky black dress. Tina dressed like a Bay City Roller. In Naps they met Zara and Michelle amongst others who seem to have a similar love/hate relationship as our sisters. They also meet Pete again, roll back a few chapters,. And give him a promise. Pete stays with the girls until nearly closing time. Michelle describes them as a ‘ménage à trois’ which was particularly apt, considering they took Pete back to Tricia’s dorm to give him the time of his life.

The girls employed an industry practice to maximize output called shift work, although in this instance, shaft work is probably a more accurate description. One girl took the top half and one the bottom. When one girl’s lips got sore they swapped over. For hour after hour the girls kept this up, as did Pete. Eventually, exhausted Tricia fell asleep leaving Tina to do the donkey work. When she woke up again Tina was still at it”

“This girl surely has the stamina to play for England. She must have been up and down the pitch one hundred times by now and still she shows no sign of flagging” (neither did Pete).

But Tricia, good girl that she was joined back in to take off some of the pressure, or put it on depending on your point of view. Where will it all end, did it all end, you’ll never know because I have run out of paper.

Re-stocked because I needed it to write this it was a sad day for Tricia as she had to leave. Dressed in mufti (Tricia) and looking resplendent (Tina) they went to Paddy's for their final goodbyes. There they met Tom, A very keen Liverpool Football supporter who also apparently was almost the size of a twelve inch ruler when happy. He was great fun to talk to and a lot had happened in his life. He may well appear later. But as Trish and Tina were tearfully saying their goodbyes, Tina's phone rang.

It was Harvey. Tina's face lit up. He would be round in the evening. Or at least Tina hopes so.

Chapter Eleven - Singin' in the Rain

Singin' In the Rain

2008-06-19T09:18:00.006+01:00

When I come back from Manchester I am hugely emotional. I cry (good), I think of music and poetry and the blog and how I can write up what happened. I am going through that now, as I write.

When I go to Manchester it takes time for Trish to kick in completely, but Iain gives her that.. Iain wants Tricia to have all the fun in the world. So, Sparkle weekend, the biggest transgender celebration in England and its in Manchester YAY. It was rainy and wet but I suppose you can’t have a rainbow without rain. Some bits in this chapter are very English but you’re all on the Internet for goodness sake so look them up and have fun reading; as much as I did writing.

Pic is of me (Tricia) in the middle of Manchester (Piccadilly Gardens actually), don't I look happy! and by the way, not all the songs are serious:

Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain

Dancin' in the rain
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
Dee-ah dee-ah dee-ah
I'm happy again!
I'm singin' and dancin' in the rain!

I'm dancin' and singin' in the rain...

Why am I smiling
And why do I sing?
Why does September
Seem sunny as spring?
Why do I get up
Each morning and start?
Happy and head up
With joy in my heart
Why is each new task
A trifle to do?
Because I am living
A life full of you.

Part 12 – In which the two girls share some texts, discover Tina’s surname, meet a felon, sing and get very wet

“She’s coming home, she’s coming home; Tricia’s coming home”. Tricia views Manchester as her home. It was where she was born, in 1995 actually (she knows because of the Windows Operating System sadly) and where she has been bred since, although there was a long gap in between. She is more than happy to support Manchester United (Tina approves) and would quite like a not-so-quiet night in with Andrew Flintoff, though Freddie and Rachel may think otherwise. Despite what she says, Manchester is also a City of culture. It is a prosperous, vibrant City with tolerant, lovely people. It also has a gay village that’s the best in England. “Manchester-la-la-la-la, Manchester la-la-la-la”

Tina’s mobile was on the blink, or it may have been her signal. “Don’t send me texts” she texted. Then it was working again
“Testes testes” was sent to Tricia
“Leave them alone!” was the reply. Tricia had more of an idea than Tina where they had
been.

It was Thursday evening and the rain was lashing down. That’s the worst thing about Manchester, the rain lashes down quite often. The girls had swapped a couple of other texts.

“What do you think about Tina Travain” texted Tina Travain
“I’d go with Tina Tresvain” texted Tricia Dale
Eventually Tina worked out it was French, like the letters she uses almost every day of her life.
“I think Tricia Trollope” texted Tina Tresvain; not knowing that Tricia Trollope had already been rejected much earlier in the young girl's life. It was discussed by her first, very strict schoolmarm. It was agreed that, like everybody else, Tricia's parents should name her. Her Father was called Patrick, hence Tricia, her Mother's stage name was Margaret Dale. So Tricia Dale. After that meeting with the schoolmarm Tricia couldn't sit down for two days. Why hadn't she learned her abc?

So what do you do on a rainy in Manchester. Well, you go to Paddy’s where, if there is a tranny fest going on, you will meet up with other like-minded people. There they bump into (it isn’t hard but very pleasant) the ample chested Paula who is talking to a guy. She wishes to palm him off and sees a couple of likely candidates.

“This is Burglar Bill” said Paula
“You must be Rod Stewart” said Burglar Bill
“Ha ha ha ha ha” laughed Tricia
“And you must be Mick Jagger” said Burglar Bill
Tricia shut up.

So onwards and to the New Union where there is a karaoke going on. It is still raining hard but inside the weather is cloudy. Paula sings “Angels” by Robbie Williams. Rather well thought Tina and Tricia. Tricia sings “Wild Thing” by the Troggs. That was different think Paula, Tina and Burglar Bill who is stroking Tricia’s hand (?) and looking into her bloodshot eyes with lust.

Finally to Naps which is quiet apart from a lot of trannies. The dance floor isn’t open which annoys the girls. At about two o’clock Tina announces she is going back to Tranny Towers. On her arm is not just her handbag but also Burglar Bill. Tricia smiles to herself, gets another drink and waits to see if anything develops. It doesn’t so she goes back to her hotel, happy and ready for sleep and action the following day.

Chapter Thirteen - You'll Never Walk Alone

You'll Never Walk Alone

2008-06-18T05:03:00.007+01:00

Lets get inside Tricia’s head for a while. Its important for all of us. This chapter is an amalgam of the number of different times I shopped in the City. I now feel very relaxed about doing it but still get a great rush.

Piccy is of me buying a gorgeous sparkly dress while I was out with Tina (next entry). I had just tried it on in the changing room. I have not yet been turned down when fully dressed.

Oh, and by the way, Tara is my dance teacher. She is absolutely gorgeous and I love her to death! She is also in love with musicals, like me saw this coming, as should you, from a mile off. But what's this? I am a Manchester United fan!

When you walk through a storm
hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never, ever walk alone.

Part 13 – Walkies with Tricia

Tricia thinks deeply about what to wear; not deeply enough as we shall see. Check tea-dress, white jeans or short skirt with leggings. She decides on her white jeans with her “These shoes look fab I have to have a pair” red top. Twenty minutes later after much jumping and grinding she has somehow managed to pour into her jeans and is happily sitting at the mirror doing her make-up. Jewellery, wig, lippy and she is ready. She checks her handbag; keys, purse, camera and tissues are already there. She adds her little cosmetics bag filled with the essentials, her hair brush and her cigarettes and lighter and zips it up. White jacket on, handbag over shoulder, final check in the mirror, sexy bitch, then the door clicks shut and Tricia is free.

Be confident girl, I say to myself as I walk through the corridor and get into the lift. I wonder if anyone will join me, they don’t, and I get out, pass reception with a smile, get a smile back, and out into Manchester. Left, lets go to Primark because I need some make-up brushes and sponges and some tights. A young girl walks past, she doesn’t notice. An elderly man walks past. He doesn’t notice. Going good Trish but there are three young guys heading your way. Run, hide? No be confident. Stride, remember what Tara has told you. Back straight, pencil behind the shoulder blades, head high. Heel, toe, slightly cross your legs. Good girl. They’re past you an you passed; well at least they didn’t recognise me.

Getting busier now as I approach Piccadilly Gardens. Left, then right, over the tram lines and I am in the open in the middle of the City. Yay this is brilliant! Very young girl doesn’t recognise me. Older one a few steps further on does, but gives me a lovely smile. I smile back. Through the doors and into Primark. I know this shop well but still get lost. I finally track down the sponges and brushes. £2 for three of each; definitely a bargain. Two pairs of patterned tights, I love patterned tights. Those girls are watching me. I look at them and smile, they smile back. Those two seem amused, but then I suppose its not often you see a tranny browsing the skirt rail. Need a new black belt to replace the one which broke yesterday. That’s nice and only £3. To the check-out. Queue not too bad. Three girls and a bloke; who is going to have the pleasure of serving me. She’s a pretty girl, another nice smile and out of Primark onto the Arndale Centre. Really busy now. Up the escalators because the second floor has all the girly shops. Vestry, no nothing in there; Dot P, no try West One sometimes you can find …………… wow look at that slinky red dress. Any in my size, Yay size 12. “Yes, I’m fine, just browsing but I think … can I try it on?”

Now a lesson for all aspiring girls out there. If you are going shopping don’t put your sexy white jeans which take twenty minutes to put on, on. Beads of sweat are bouncing off the floor of the changing room like the raindrops yesterday as I finally manage to peel them off. But it was worth it. The dress is just gorgeous. Dead slinky like my black one and fits perfectly. She’ll more than do and is under £30. I go and pay. “Yes, I’m out all weekend, it wonderful. Will wear it tonight, yes, thank you, you have a good night too, bye”. Brill, sorted so outfit is slinky red dress, gold flats, white coat and handbag.

Lets go downstairs and try Peacocks, you can often get a bargain there. Wow, black cotton dress, short, definitely Tricia, under £20 and its mine ….. £14.99, my size. But there is no way I’m going through the rigmarole of getting my jeans off and on again. So ask girl. Yes, it is refundable if it doesn’t fit. Let’s go for it. Bra for my red dress, 38C, yes, that’s pretty I’ll get that one. Look at those panties, 3 for a fiver. I know I’ve got loads but a girl can never have enough panties. Go on Trish, you deserve them. Black jacket. Hmm that will go with slinky red dress and my white jacket needs a rest. Try it on girl you’re dressed as a woman for goodness sake! Fits well. Yes I must have it . Check-out girl smiles nicely at me.

I hate this, fumbling around in my purse . Why are my hands shaking so much; I am not nervous. Is it the beer or is it the rush? I suspect its a bit of both. Pay by card girl its easier. “Thank you, and I will enjoy my day”. Have I really spent that much? Ouch, sorry Iain. Its gone twelve already and I've agreed to meet Tina. Good morning's work though!

And our brave young lady clip clops out of the Arndale Centre and to Piccadilly Gardens hardly creating a stir at all. She gets noticed by a few, but only a very few people. She calls Tina who is who isn't even dressed yet, so has not started on her make-up, so is going to be at the very least an hour. Tricia goes into Nero's in Piccadilly Gardens and buys a coffee. She takes it outside and drinks it slowly. She is very, very, happy. She is herself.

I turn into the campus, to the gay village I know and love. I relax and drop my guard. I am spotted by a car waiting at the lights.
“Beep beep”
“Beep beep”
“Beep beep”
And other cars join in. I smile to myself as I cross the road and wiggle through the car park and into the village. I so love being Tricia

Chapter Fourteen - Au Fond Du Temple Saint

The Pearl Fishers

2008-06-17T21:59:00.003+01:00

A lovely day for Tina and I, we had fun and it wasn't to stop at the end of this. Next blog entry - sorry I have at least five in various stages of completion - and a sonnet to write? Whats that about? I am falling behind I know.

By the way, this is one of my favourite songs of all time. It shakes me to the core (and will annoy Tina ha-ha). It is from the Pearl Fishers by Bizet. You see, it depends if I'm in a good mood.

ZURGA
It was in the evening!
In the air cooled by a breeze,
The brahmanes with faces flooded with light,
Slowly called the crowd to prayer!

NADIR
At the back of the holy temple,
decorated with flowers and gold,
A woman appears!
ZURGA
A woman appears!
NADIR
I can still see her!
ZURGA
I can still see her!

NADIR
The prostrate crowd
looks at her amazed
and murmurs under its breath:
look, this is the goddess
looming up in the shadow
and holding out her arms to us.

ZURGA
Her veil parts slightly.
What a vision! What a dream!
The crowd is kneeling.

ZURGA & NADIR
Yes, it is she!
It is the goddess,
more charming and more beautiful.
Yes, it is she!
It is the goddess
who has come down among us.
Her veil has parted and the crowd is kneeling.

NADIR
But through the crowd
she makes her way.

ZURGA
Already her long veil
hides her face from us.

NADIR
My eyes, alas!
Seek her in vain!

ZURGA
She flees!

NADIR
She flees!
But what is this strange flame
which is suddenly kindled in my soul!

ZURGA
What unknown fire is destroying me?

NADIR
Your hand pushes mine away!

ZURGA
Your hand pushes mine away!

NADIR
Love takes our hearts by storm
and turns us into enemies!

ZURGA
No, let nothing part us!

NADIR
No, nothing!

ZURGA
Let nothing part us!

NADIR
No, nothing!

ZURGA
Let us swear to remain friends!
NADIR
Let us swear to remain friends!
ZURGA
Let us swear to remain friends!

ZURGA & NADIR
Oh yes, let us swear to remain friends!
Yes, it is her, the goddess,
who comes to unite us this day.
And, faithful to my promise,
I wish to cherish you like a sister!
It is her, the goddess,
who comes to unite us this day!
Yes, let us share the same fate,
let us be united until death!

Part 14 – The Girls go Fishing

The girls readied their bait for the trip ahead.

Tina chose the hippy look; flared blue jeans, gypsy blouse and black shrug and her favourite pink and white long socks.

Tricia chose her new black dress from Peacock’s, patterned black tights and ankle boots.

Yes, they were going fishing. Not only that, but Tina was ready to go to one of the largest fishing areas in the country, Arnpool.

The Arndale Centre is massive. It consists of three floors. The ground floor has mostly menswear shops but you can get girly stuff there; in fact Quiz, Tricia’s favorite shop, is on the ground floor. Up the escalators and there are girly shops all around you. There is also a market on the first floor where can get specialist stuff like tattoos and wigs. All the High Street stores can be found here (New Look, Next, Top Shop, Dot P etc) as well as independent fashion retailers. The third floor is the food hall, cheap and tacky and dotted round the centre are plastic coffee houses. Needless to say it gets very busy, but for girls like Tina and Tricia, its paradise.

In the downpour on Friday something very bizarre happened. Tina’s right boot began talking to her.
“Help” it said.
Tina looked down, puzzled.
“My inside used to be warm and smelly. Now its cold and wet”
Tina looked down again, aghast.
“And while I’ve got YOUR attention I would like some of my own. I do not like the short skirts and stockings you wear. It takes the attention away from me”
Tricia covered her mouth with her hand and giggled to herself.

Now some girls are stockings girls and some girls are tights girls. Tina is definitely in the former camp. Her belief is that a flash of flesh between her very short skirt and her sexy stocking tops attracts the men. This is one of the reasons it takes her so long to get ready. Tricia, on the other hand, is more practical. Stockings are far too much trouble and, like socks, one always gets lost in the wash. Where do they all go? Is there a Planet sock and a Planet stocking?

Tricia shudders as she remembers her first experience with stockings. She spent an age trying to get them clipped into her suspended belt. Much like pouring into her white jeans she got hot, sweaty and delayed; so went out with make-up all over the place and hair a mess. She was only out for ten minutes when she needed the Ladies. Like the good girl she is she took down her skirt, then tried to take down her panties. They wouldn’t budge! As all girls know you put your panties on over your stockings. Tricia didn’t. Unclipping her suspenders was easy. Doing them up again was a different matter.

The poor girl was under enough pressure as it was, but people kept knocking on the door and asking how long she was going to be. She heard them discussing whether she had a man in there with her (she wished, he could have helped getting her stockings back on) but she bravely ignored all this to concentrate on the job in hand. Finally she managed it, opened the door and tried to keep her calm while walking past a queue of irate girls jumping up and down and crossing their legs. The queue for the Ladies was considerably longer than the queue for the bar.

Whilst Trish was daydreaming, Tina and her right boot were having a furious row.
“Cobblers” said Tina, “we’ll have to go to the cobblers”
“Cobblers” said the boot, “I can see them from here”
“Where?” said Tina
“Above me”, said the boot “there always there”
“Not my cobblers” said Tina, “The cobblers”
“What’s The cobblers” said the boot
“Somewhere I can shut you up, you old boot” said Tina
“Now, now” said the boot.

The cobbler did his best and glued the sole together again. He didn’t hold much hope of it lasting though.
“I need some new boots” announced Tina
“I see a charity shop coming, I’ll buy forty Bensons then” said Tricia
“No, they haven’t got any. I always look for boots”
“You always look for everything in the charity shop” Tricia shrugged her shoulders
“I suppose the only option is to go to the Arndale then”
To Tricia’s amazement Tina agreed. So, for want of a sole the girls would go fishing in the morning.

After twenty minutes meandering around Tina’s favourite ‘look after yourself’ route, Tricia felt she had to say something.
“Why can’t we be like other girls and just walk up the road and turn left, OUCH!”. She had just been stung by a nettle as the path disintegrated into a tiny track.
“Because I need time to psyche myself up” said Tina, chuckling “Here, have some dock leaves”
“But this is ridiculous” said an annoyed Tricia as she applied the dock leaves to her left bottom cheek. She wished she had worn her sexy white jeans!

Eventually they reached civilization again. “I’m in charge now because I know where we are going”. Tricia breathed a sigh of relief.
“Big breaths hon, and look confident”
“There not as big as yours darling, but I only because I don’t use chicken fillets” said Tina
“What are you talking about?”
“Your breasts silly” Tina paused
“ Ha ha chicken fillets to go with your chicken legs”
“Can we not discuss my breasts, or even my legs, when we’re in the middle of Manchester with hundreds of people ear-wigging?”
“Keep your voice down Trish, those girls heard, look at them giggling”. Tina paused,
“Maybe we should put corn on the shopping list”
“Shut up, think about your song”
“What song?”
“The song that’s in your head when you walk around the middle of Manchester attracting scorn, silly”
“Corn?”
“No scorn”
“Willow, tit willow, tit willow”
“Can you please leave my breasts alone?”
“Burglar Bill didn’t yesterday”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me you let him have a good grope. He thought they were real, ha ha ha”
“I didn’t notice, he must have had very light fingers”
“Liar!”

The girls turned right into TK-Max, the gateway to the Arndale and the discussion at last turned away from Tricia’s breasts and onto more mundane things; like shoes, dresses and handbags. To their left they saw a rail of evening gowns. They couldn’t resist. For a good fifteen minutes they picked dresses from the rails and held them against themselves asking each other for comments. Then they went to Tricia’s favourite part of the shop; the cut-price designer handbags. Tricia could browse through these all morning. They were really enjoying themselves but this wasn’t getting Tina’s boots and Tricia wanted a new dress for Saturday night so, reluctantly they moved into the Arndale Centre itself.

First shop Shoezone. Tricia had warned Tina that it was the wrong time of year to buy boots, that she should wait until the autumn but Tina was adamant. There was a small selection of boots in the shop but nothing Tina liked. So they walked around the corner and into Peacocks. Tina immediately saw what she wanted, but they were not boots. They were silver wedges, quite high, and they would go with a lot of her wardrobe. The problem was she could find one her size, but not the other. She started to get angry. Silver wedges of various sizes (except size 7) were flung around the shop as she desperately tried to find the match. Tricia approached a shop assistant.
“Excuse me, can you help Cinderella over there. She’s getting a bit irate”
The girl professionally approached Tina despite having to duck and weave to avoid being hit by a silver wedge.
“I’ll get you a pair from the store room” she told Tina. While she was gone a triumphant cheer emerged from the corner of the shop.
“You just need a bit of patience” she told Tricia who was frantically trying to gather together and put back the sea of silver wedges on the shop floor.
“They’ve got some pretty panties in here, over there, I bought some yesterday” said Tricia who needed to buy some time to make a presentable display of silver wedges. By the time she had finished Tina had bought six pairs of panties and two silver platform shoes.
“Sorry”, Tricia said to the shop assistant on their way out.
The shop assistant smiled.

“Time for a cigarette, where can we smoke”, said Tina, happy with her purchases.
“We have to go outside” said Tricia
The girls walked out of the Arndale Centre and onto the steps leading to the Cathedral.
“Lets sit down over there, I’m tired” said Tricia
“I’m not sitting over there, there’s hundreds of people” said Tina starting to get jittery again.
“Hon, were in the middle of Manchester as it is, just relax”
Before the girls could start a squabble, they were approached by a funny looking man with a goatee beard.
“Excuse me (cough) young ladies”
The girls wondered whether the cough was for the young or the ladies or both.
“I am a follower of Hari Krishna, would you care to contribute to our cause.
Tina, who was still euphoric over her new shoes, fumbled in the purse and found £2.
“Then you are entitled to a gift, young lady”. The man reached inside his bag and presented Tina with a book entitled ‘The journey of self-discovery’
“Have a lovely day (cough) girls”
They finished their cigarettes.
“I need a new dress, lets try Quiz, it’s just round the corner”, said Tricia
“I still need some boots” said Tina

The girls entered Quiz and Tina went straight to the shoe section. Tricia immediately saw exactly what she want. It was a beautiful sparkly gold dress. It was similar to her other broken sparkly gold dress, more about that later. She carefully worked her way through the rail, eventually finding one her size. YAY she thought.
“Nothing in here Trish, I’m going to look around the shoe shop next door”.
“Ok Tina, I want to try this on, I’ll be a few minutes”.
Tricia was again allowed into a changing room. This time it was far easier to get dressed and undressed. The dress was gorgeous and Trish knew she had to have it. It was so pretty she didn’t want to take it off. Tina was prowling around inside the shop wondering why Tricia was taking so long (for a change). It was good she wasn’t here yesterday, thought Tricia. She paid and two happy girls walked out of the shop well pleased with their morning’s work.

Tricia’s last sparkly gold dress was very flimsy and she managed to wear it out on its fifth outing. A strap broke while she was putting it on which she managed to fix using tit tape. Fortunately for her, she was dancing with half a dozen ggs at Naps when the second strap broke quickly followed by the tit tape giving way. An embarrassed Tricia was therefore stuck in the middle of the dance floor in just her underwear. The girls however rallied to her cause.

“To the pub Trish” said Tina
“To the straight pub” said Trish.

They got themselves a drink, went onto the balcony upstairs and inspected their haul.
Two wedge shoes (silver)
Six pairs of panties (various)
One sexy dress (sparkly gold)
One book called the journey of self discovery.
Not a great catch, but not bad for two inexperienced anglers.

Chapter Fifteen - Windy City

Windy City

2008-06-16T22:30:00.004+01:00

Oh you pretty things, don’t you know your driving your Mamas and Papas insane.

I didn’t spend much time at Sparkle itself because I was more interested in doing my own thing. There are moves afoot to make this all more permanent. The trouble is that there were so many threads over the weekend that this is a bit disjointed. But then it all happened so, so what! It was great to be with so many trannies though; some of them even ventured around town. By the way, and I know I’m skirting around the issue, but this one’s from Calamity Jane. Did I tell you I love Doris Day?

I just blew in from the windy city
The windy city is mighty pretty
But they ain't got what we got, no sirree
They've got shacks up to seven stories
Never see any Morning Glory's
But a step from our doorway
We got 'em for free
They've got those minstrel shows
Pretty ladies in the big chateau's
Private lawns, public parks
For the sake of civic virtue
They've got fountains there that squirt you

I just blew in from the windy city
The windy city is mighty pretty
But they ain't got what we got
I'm tellin' ya, boys
We got more life in Deadwood City
Than in all of Illinois

You should-a seen me a-windo' shoppin'
A-windo' shoppin' with eyes a-poppin'
At the sights that you see there, yes sirree
Press a bell and a moment later
Up you go in an elevator
Just as fast as a polecat a-climbin' a tree
I heard claim hundreds came
To a thing they call a baseball game
Cigar stores, revolving doors

They got new inventions coming
'Stead of outdoor, indoor plumbing
I just blew in from the windy city
The windy city is mighty pretty
But they ain't got what we got
I'm tellin' ya, boys
I ain't a-swappin' half of Deadwood
For the whole of Illinois

Part 15 – In which Tricia’s slinky red dress goes out for the first time, Tricia has a ballet lesson, and the girls meet loads and loads of people.

Tricia’s sexy red dress made its debut the previous night. Leaving Tina asleep, she was eventually to wake up, it made a mistake crossing the road at eleven o’clock. The lights changed to green when it was half way across forcing it to walk down the middle of the street. Cars on both sides were beeping their horns furiously. Tricia realised that they were not beeping their horns because she looked like a man; with her slinky red dress and fishnet stockings in the middle of the night, they were beping their horns because she looked like a pro. Tricia loved the attention and wiggled more provocatively, if that was at all possible.

She had previously sent her dance teacher a text for advice.
“Now I shout it from the highest hills, but how do I do a pliet?” she wrote.
Tara replied, “Hiya Calam hows life in the Windy City? Sorry sugar having a bad week. You need to turn your feet out and tilt your pelvis forward so that your spine straightens. Then bend your knees out so that they point in the same direction as your toes, and don’t let your knees go further than your toes. Move your feet wider instead”.
Tricia replied “Thanks Tara, I’ll do my best. Windy City no good for wigs! Hugs Calam.”
Tara replied “Ha ha how true x”

Tricia quite likes Calam. There is an element of truth in it. The subject is all about getting Tricia’s back straight and improving her posture, Ballet lessons! What ever next?

So back to chronological order, which is the only order in the girls’ lives, Tina and Tricia returned to Paddys where they met up with Janine and Emma. Emma is living full time, Janine is not. Janine traveled up to Manchester from Nottingham on the train dressed. It was the most frightening experience of her life as she made one fatal mistake. She forgot to bring anything to read so she had to spend the whole journey in the headlights, watching people watching her. She survived though, and did look good. Tricia has yet to do this although it doesn’t frighten her any more. Her time will come.

While out having a smoke, the girls met Peta. Peta described the most frantic sexual period of her life. The time when she became, as she put it, a dump truck. Tina’s ears pricked up or something. She was going through precisely that now. Peta said it lasted about six months but now she is far more choosy about whom she sleeps with. Tricia’s ears pricked up, “ha ha there’s mileage in that; Tina the dump truck ha ha” she thought.

The girls were obviously drinking far too much for there own good so decided to go for a curry. They had never been for a sit down meal dressed before so it was a first. The Ashoka looked shut from the outside as there were building works going on all around it. Inside though it was as warm and friendly as the waiter who served them. The girls had a long chat with him about, well, what it was like to be girls. He was charming and polite and the food was excellent. So if your ever in Manchester look it up, it comes highly recommended.

http://www.ashokamanchester.co.uk/index.htm

Antonia (Silver Shadow) texted Trish “I am in AXS, meet me soon”. So the girls met up again with Anonia who was with Tracey and was to remain with Tracey for the weekend. Who was who and what was what was never really established but they all had a good laugh anyway.

Suzy texted Trish “I am in the park at the first tent on your right”. Trish said her goodbyes and went to have a chat with Suzy. Suzy works for the same company as Iain. She has just had the operation and is struggling a bit at the moment. It does take time to recover, but Tricia could tell she would soon be fully fit. The Company they work for is very good with issues like this. Tricia has now told HR about heraself and will be opening up further shortly. She is a brave girl!

It was about this time that Tina scrawled on Tricia’s notepad. The one she uses to write all this up, that “Tricia becomes drunk as a newt”. So we better stop here. There is much more to tell however. Sparkle weekend, girls everyone (even some in town) fun, fun, fun!

Chapter Sixteen - Tomorrow Belongs to Me

Tomorrow Belongs to Me

2008-06-15T06:49:00.006+01:00

Piccy is of Jayne and me (Tricia) inside Naps and was taken by Antonia (thanks hon). Don’t we look radiant. The story covers a couple of days of my life which again were great fun, but I struggle to remember a lot which went on. I wonder why that is?

By the way, there are two reasons for the song. The most important for me being the realisation on the Sunday morning that pretty much everything is possible now. It is like being re-born, and I do think tomorrow might belong to me (Tricia). The clip itself is from the film and was what Michelle and I agreed on.

I also learned that I can only do so much. I am trying to run too fast when I am here. I must somehow slow down. I’m not sure how to do that yet because everything is so new and exciting. I’ll have a think about it.

========================================

The sun on the meadow is summery warm
The stag in the forest runs free
But gathered together to greet the storm
Tomorrow belongs to me

The branch on the linden is leafy and green
The Rhine gives its gold to the sea (Gold to the sea)
But somewhere a glory awaits unseen
Tomorrow belongs to me

Now Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign
Your children have waited to see
The morning will come
When the world is mine
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me

The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes
The blossom embraces the bee
But soon says the whisper, arise, arise
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me

Part 16 – In which the girls help the homeless, Jayne joins the fun, Tricia extends her welcome and they meet maid Michelle who leads Tricia into bad ways (I am such an unbiased storyteller)

Jayne was about to meet the girls. It was feverishly arranged during the week. Trish wasn’t sure whether she would actually turn up but Jayne was there and, sort of, ready. She was very nervous as it was to be her debut. What would Tricia do next?

Well at least she had done her homework. She had brought loads of clothes for Jayne to choose from, Tina had brought a lot too, and shoes, make-up and spare wig. It was how to do the make-up that worried Tricia. She was only just getting reasonable at doing her own make-up but how was she going to apply it, and what should she apply, on somebody different?

Then, as so often in life, along came lady luck. Tricia was outside having a smoke downstairs, watching others watching her, when a young lady asked her for a cigarette. Debs was homeless, cold and wet so when Tricia offered her back to her room to warm up, she jumped at the chance. She loved Tricia’s make-up and used it both on herself and on Jayne. Problem solved,

Jayne wore Tricia’s gold flapper dress, gold flats, sequined white stole and gold handbag. She should have won a gold medal as she was still very nervous, but the girls saw her through it and got her to Paddys. Tricia was wearing sexy sparkly gold dress number two with white handbag and shoes and felt good. All four girls looked radiant. Debs had a few drinks with the girls in Paddys before saying her goodbyes.

So onto Naps; and dancing, and smoking, and talking, and drinking. Tricia thought Jayne did really well but didn't think Jayne ever really properly relaxed. Eventually she had to go back to her hotel. So Tina and Tricia went back with her to Tricia’s and Jayne changed back again, both her clothes and into a different life. The girls hope Jayne enjoyed herself and had a memorable time.

In the morning Tricia hastily arranged another day and another night at the hotel. She was just enjoying herself too much. Leaving Tina asleep yet again, off she went around town. It is now like a drug for her. She adores doing it and loves showing people exactly what she is. There were loads of trannies out. One took a picture of her in Piccadilly Gardens. It was sunny, it was fun, and it was the first time Tricia realised she could do anything Iain could do. No; no song, they do it together!. She bought some girly stuff, including a new black jacket and passed Tina, dressed in mufti, on her way back to the hotel. “Paddys” said Tina
“Paddys” said Tricia, “see you in ten minutes, new clothes to try on”.

Fifty minutes, a change of clothes and two irate phone calls from Tina later, Tricia appeared in Paddy’s.
“What kept you, I’m on my own here dressed as a bloke” said Tina,
“Complete vanity, go and change back and look gorgeous like me”,
“I can’t, I’ve got work tomorrow, love your new outfit though”,
“Oh hon, you’re so sweet. Am I forgiven then?”,
“Of course”,
“Will you give me a kiss then?”,
“Is that just because I’m dressed as a bloke?”,
“It seems to me you feel safer in here dressed as a girl than as a bloke. What were those phone calls about?”
“Yes I do. Girls like us get protected by blokes like us”,
“Not sure about your logic hon” Tricia paused,
“But you are really sweet, that means you would protect me” Tricia paused again,
“Protect my honour” Tricia paused again, for a even longer this time.
“But I may not want my honour protecting”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, if some young studmuffin suddenly started ravishing me, the last thing I’d want is your protection!”
“Some young studmuffin, who are you kidding? Ha ha ha ha”

The girls had no idea where this was taking them but fortunately for us all they were never to find out. Maid Michelle joined them at the table, though you couldn’t actually tell it was Maid Michelle in her t-shirt and jeans. The girls got on really well; Michelle and Tricia in particular who shared the same interests and tastes; even as far as agreeing on what the greatest clip from any film of all time was. Now I wonder what that could be? Actually the only clip Tricia thinks can compete is the first time you see Harry Lime in the Third Man.

Tina had to go back to Tranny Towers to prepare for the work the next day, leaving Tricia and Michelle to explore the back streets of Manchester looking for varied and different pubs and pints. At about 17:00 Michelle had to leave to get her train. Tricia staggered, by far the worse for wear, back to her hotel. On her way home she received a text from Antonia (Silver Shadow).
“Hi honey we are still in Manchesta tonite. U? Your dress was FAB last night !!! love u, A-a”.

Tricia crashed on top of the bed with a smile on her face. There she was to remain until just after midnight when she woke up, still fully dressed, with a start. Its 00:30 must go to Naps, must go to Naps she thought, need a cigarette first though. She went all the way back down the stairs of the hotel to the smoking area outside and lit up and thought again. No she mustn’t. Its Sunday night, Naps will be quiet and she is still shattered. She must text Silver Shadow to apologise. Go back to bed girl, this time put your nightie on. Although you act like an eighteen year old girl you know the truth.

Eighteen? My hasn’t she grown up fast!

Chapter Seventeen - What a Wonderful World

What a Wonderful World

2008-06-14T23:45:00.005+01:00

The picture is of me (Tricia) in the smoking area outside Paddys. You can also smoke outside the front, on the road, which I now like to do more and more often. I like watching people watching me. By the way, and chill,

I see trees that are green, red roses too
I watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, ohh what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of the people passing by
I see friends shaking hands, saying, "how do you do?"
But they're really saying, "I love you"

I see trees that are green and red roses too
I watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, oh what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of the people passing by
I see friends shaking hands, saying, "how do you do?"
But they're really saying, "I love you

I see trees of green and red roses too
I watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, oh what a wonderful world

I think to myself, ooh what a wonderful world

Part 17 – Peace and Quiet

Its Friday lunchtime and Paddys is quite. Tricia has to change hotels so has a couple of idle hours on her hands and, with her heavy suitcase stuffed full of beautiful clothes, can’t really do much. So she just chills, has a couple of beers, and is totally relaxed. She is dressed of course, pink top, sexy white jeans (no shopping just yet). She looks divine and she doesn’t have a care in the world.

Tonight, with Tina, she is to see the real professionals which she is looking forward to. Than back to Paddys and Naps. Whatever will happen to her? Who knows, and that is fun, fun, fun. There needs to be a balance though. The time Tricia is spending now, quietly, is very important. Iain knows that and Trish is beginning to learn it. It is simply not possible to run around at one hundred miles an hour all the time.

She has to check into posh hotel in an hour but that no longer concerns her, despite what it says on her credit card. Then she is going to dump her bags, hang up her wig and dresses, have a shower, change and go shopping in the big City. She needs another pair of jeans; black she thinks and a denim dress. It doesn’t matter if she can’t find them, the search will be fun (actually she didn’t and the search was fun).

She goes to the ladies. Like the good girl she is pulls down her panties. On the front are the words http://www.signin........ On the back are the words ……and poke me. Tricia sometimes wonders whether its worth bothering with knickers at all. She thinks sometimes they get a bit too much in the way. But she loves wearing them, so she will.

She touches up her make-up; recognises that her nails need re-doing before tonight. Tonight is sparkly gold dress number 2 night. Tonight she is going to compete with the professionals. She isn’t going to win but that doesn’t matter. It’s the taking part that counts. She is mildly annoyed that her sexy white jeans won’t fit properly and completely over her ankle boots, but understands that she has chicken legs and she has to live with it.

She goes back into the bar. She notices the rain lashing down again outside and is pleased that she had the sense to put her girly pink umbrella in her handbag. The Eva Cassidy version of Wonderful World comes on the juke-box. Tricia sits down, listens and thinks to herself… “yes, it is a wonderful world”

Ohh yeah

Bye Tricia, enjoy yourself!

Chapter Eighteen - There's No Business Like Show Business

There's No Business Like Show Business

2008-06-13T20:40:00.009+01:00

Piccy is of me as a ladyboy. Don’t I look pretty! I can see a career in show business beckoning ha ha ha! By the way, and the clip is from the year I was born!

===============================================

There's no business like show business like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing, everything that traffic will allow
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow

There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold, you may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold, let's go on with the show

The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Are secretly unhappy men because
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Get paid for what they do but no applause.
They'd gladly bid their dreary jobs goodbye for anything theatrical and why?

There's no business like show business and I tell you it's so
Traveling through the country is so thrilling, standing out in front on opening nights
Smiling as you watch the theater filling, and there's your billing out there in lights

There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Angels come from everywhere with lots of jack, and when you lose it, there's no attack
Where could you get money that you don't give back? Let's go on with the show

(There's no business like show business like no business I know)
You get word before the show has started that your favorite uncle died at dawn
Top of that, your pa and ma have parted, you're broken-hearted, but you go on

(There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low)
Yesterday they told you you would not go far, that night you open and there you are
Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star, let's go on with the show!!

Part 18 -– In which Tricia can’t understand Mark, the girls become ladyboys and Tricia struggles to walk

An English summer? Is there such a thing any more. All weekend Tricia had to carry both girly umbrella and sunglasses with her. She’s amazed her handbag stood up to it. The weather was a bit like Tina, thought Tricia, it never knew what to do.

On Thursday night she had a long and deep chat with Mark. Tina was nairing her hair so wouldn’t be out until Friday. Though, as you know, that isn’t strictly true. Tricia had just one task to perform. To book two tickets for ‘The Ladyboys of Bangkok” for Friday night. How appropriate thought Tricia. She achieved the task and the girls were put right at the front, next to the stage, GULP.

Now Mark is a lapsed tranny. Tricia doesn’t understand at all; but then there are a lot of things Tricia doesn’t understand, particularly to do with nails. How, for example, when you are right handed, do you put nail varnish on your right finger nails without getting it all over your skin is one thing she doesn’t understand. How can anybody possibly be capable of doing a French manicure, is another. Tricia knows she has a lot to learn, but is keen and eager to do so. It now only takes her five minutes to do the clasp on a necklace.

How can you be a lapsed tranny? Either you love being one, like Tina and Tricia, or you don’t. Mark tried to explain but Tricia just couldn’t get it. She loved the 45 minutes (only) it now took her to get ready to go out. She loved putting on her jewellery, doing her make-up, styling her wig; that was all part of the fun. And Tricia loves fun! Mark never did convince Tricia, but then did Tricia convince Mark, or anyone else come to that. Tricia doesn’t care. She is who she is.

“Hiya Gal”, Tricia met Tina in Paddys at 8:30 on Friday night.
“Two pints and we go to the Ladyboys”
“Two pints Trish, we’ve got to be there for nine!”
“Sounds about right Tina, and its your round”
“I’m not round Trish, I’m straight!”
“Ha ha ha ha ha”
The girls were back together and straight away were enjoying themselves.

They were put on a table with six gg’s. Tricia immediately got talking to Caroline, and Tina to Lynne. The girls really loved having some real ladyboys on their table. The girls really loved having genuine girls on their table. It was fun, fun, fun all round, or all straight or whatever.

In the interval there was the opportunity for Tina and Tricia to have their picture taken on stage. We know that our brave girls never miss such opportunities. Lead by their table there were huge cheers and whistles from the audience as they walked onto the stage. And don’t they look pretty! Sparkly gold dress number two works for Tricia.

The table got more raucous as the night wore on but all the girls, genuine or not, had a great time. They went together back to Paddys after the show and carried on talking and drinking. The ggs eventually had to go home but another meeting is being arranged.

Onto Naps and the usual routine. Tina downstairs, Tricia up. Meet in the middle for a smoke and an update. Tricia's ballet had improved and she was getting reasonably good at pliets, but Tara had given her another task, one which was to prove much more difficult. To walk with her toes slightly turned out. The dance floor at Naps, with mirrors all around, was the perfect place to try it out. Tricia found it impossible! It totally threw her balance. She tried to look to cool as she bumped into the umpteenth person but failed miserably. She didn't know that Tina was watching.

“Ha-ha-ha your drunk again, its hard to disguise that fact if you've got chicken legs” said Tina
“I'm not drunk, I'm practicing my walk” replied Tricia, bouncing into a couple on her right.
“Walk? Its a dance floor for goodness sake”
“My dance instructor has instructed me to turn my toes out when I walk” said Tricia, still walking up and down, “And its not easy”.
“What sort of dance teacher is she?”, said Tina. “You're bumping into everybody, look – there are people in the corners afraid to move in case they are mown over. You are a safety hazard – in fact you are like a dodgem car!”

The tannoy behind the bar then added more pressure. “If anybody has any crash helmets can they please bring them up to the dance floor, quickly!” it announced.

“Don't you dare question my dance teacher, she is simply lovely and knows what she is doing” said Tricia who, at that precise moment, bumped into four girls with very high heels, knocking them to the floor instantly.

“Strike!” shouted Tina “Ha-ha-ha you're not a dodgem car you're a bowling ball. Lets go and have a smoke, I'll roll you down the stairs”.

Tina tugged Tricia from off the dance floor. The all clear alert was sounded at the bar. The dance floor filled again and the people in the corners felt free to move. Tina and Tricia had a long chat. “Wait until its not so busy before you try your walk again”, said Tina. “And I'm not sure about your dance teacher”.

“I am”, said Tricia, “don't you ever say anything against her. She is with me every minute of the day, every step that I take”.

The girls later met Lady Morgana who asked Tricia to write a sonnet for her. That will be fun, thought Tricia, not realising actually how difficult it was going to be. Did she? And what is happening in Frankfurt in September? And what is this really all about? Tricia knows some of the answers but not all. One thing she is aware of though is that it will be fun finding out! Now, what are the rules of a sonnet?

Chapter Nineteen - How Do you Solve a Problem Like Tricia

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Tricia

2008-06-12T22:45:00.005+01:00

The difficulty I have is that I am too wild, too random and at times almost uncontrollable. I have been told that, for my own good, I need to take on some more responsibility. People don’t want to change me too much, because then you lose what is inside me but I just need to tone it all down a bit. By the way, this is what they sing to me.

She climbs a tree
And scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzs on her way to mass
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair!
I've even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel,
But her penitence is real
She's always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel
Tricia's not an asset to the abbey

I'd like to say a word in her behalf:
Tricia makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Tricia?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Tricia?
A flibbertajibbit?
A will of a whisp
a clown

Many a thing you know you'd like tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say
how do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like Tricia?
How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?

When I'm with her
I'm confused
Out of focus
And bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling
She's a demon
She's a lamb

She'd out pester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She can throw a twirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle
She is wild
She's a riddle
She's a child
She's a headache
She's an angel
She's a girl?

How do you solve a problem like Tricia?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Tricia?
A flibbertajjibet
A will of a wisp
A clown

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay?
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like Tricia?
How do you hold a moon beam in your hand?

I've signposted another song here. Can you guess what it is? Hugs Trish xx

Part 19 – In which Tricia moves into Tranny Towers and explores the area, Tina has main course and afters with Harvey and Tricia acts very, very, responsibly for a girl of her age

Tricia has made a decision, or at least it was made for her. She is moving in with Tina at weekends. This has been agreed with her family. The thought of being dressed and being herself all weekend fills her with joy; but there is much to do. It is this which may help Tricia. She needs to take on more responsibility if she is to grow as a person.

Tina works away from Tranny Towers during the week so stays with her parents. This has meant that nothing much has been done at the flat so it is a bit of a mess at the moment. First the girls need to sort out some keys for Tricia, then Tricia needs to get the electricity connected.

Then there is Tricia’s bedroom. This will need to be converted to look much more girly. Tricia is going to have real fun doing this as she is going to get it all sorted dressed. Going to DIY shops, picking wardrobes and mirrors etc all dressed as Tricia; wonderful. She stayed there last weekend. The girsls cleared a lot of space in the bedroom (well Tina did mostly) and Tina made a temporary wardrobe using some old wood lying about and a coffin. Tricia has never slept with a coffin before; but she’s still living. The bed was very comfy but it was only a single bed. This will need changing quickly as she is sure to bring someone back with her before very long.

On Saturday evening Tina got a surprise. Out of the blue, her doorbell chimed. It was Harvey and he was to become the first test for the girls. Tricia decided to stay in her room and read but it wasn’t long before Harvey cam in stark naked flashing his impressively large manhood. He wanted Tricia to join them but Tina hadn’t agreed so Tricia declined. Instead she went out to buy some milk. She didn’t want to intrude or invade upon Tina’s space. To put it bluntly, Trish didn’t want to queer Tina’s pitch! She also felt that if she was to stay here at weekends she ought to get to know the neighbourhood. They might enjoy having another tranny amongst them.

Now, there are plenty of ways out of Tina’s front door. If you turn right and cross the road (where the girls wait for Taxis dressed as hookers) and keep walking, pretty soon you come to the posh area and the closest shop which sells milk. Tricia bought the milk, noticed there was a bar next door, so went in and ordered a drink. The bar was modern and plastic with airport music coming out of the speakers. It was totally soulless inside so Tricia decided to sit outside. A sunny day in Manchester? What ever next. She sat down and in full view of everybody slowly sipped her drink. It was clear to her that nothing exciting was going to happen; the bar was simply too lifeless. A disappointed young lady drank up and went back to Tranny Towers where she was let in by a smiling Harvey on his way out.

The girls made themselves a coffee and sat on Tina’s bed discussing what a perfect fit Harvey was. Half-an-hour later Tina’s doorbell chimed once more. It was Harvey again. He had come back for a second helping. What would Tricia do now?

Now, there are plenty of ways out of Tina’s front door.. If you turn left and keep walking, pretty soon you come to the dodgy area where the shops are boarded up. Tricia kept walking, passed some children playing in the street and carried on. Shortly she heard some tiny footsteps behind her and turned round to see a little girl of about six or seven looking at her with interest.
“You’re a boy, aren’t you” she said.
Tricia smiled and winked.
“Yes, but don’t tell anyone, ssssshhh”
Tricia put her manicured finger to hr lips.
The little girl rushed back to her friends. As Trish carried on down the street she heard a voice, shouting.
“I’ve told someone!”

Tricia had decided she was going to have a drink in the first pub she came to, brave girl, and she could see one in the distance. As she got closer it looked like it was closed since it was all locked up. As she got closer still though, she noticed that people were drinking inside. Very strange. She tried to open the door but it was indeed locked. She was about to give up when the door opened from the inside and Tricia was beckoned in by the landlady.
“You can never be too careful around here but you look safe enough” she said.
“I’ll let you know that I’m extremely vicious with my handbag” Tricia replied.
“Don’t worry sweetie, your safe in here with me, what are you drinking?”
The landlady locked the door again.

Apart from being like Fort Knox, it was an old traditional Manchester pub. There were a few men playing darts on the other side of the bar and a few more watching some intolerably dreary game show on the television perched high in the corner. It was the type of pub which probably hasn’t seen a woman for twenty years or more. It still hasn’t. Tricia however did feel safe in there and received some lovely smiles from the men. She drunk upand the landlady let her out.
“Come back again, honey,” she said “but not too late at night”

The children had been called in for their tea but it was a happy if a little disturbed Tricia who made her way back to Tranny Towers. It must be a very, very dodgy place if you have to lok the pub doors, she thought. She was again let in by a smiling Harvey on his way out.

“Penny’s texted,” said Tina, “we’ve got one hour to get to Paddys. Do you know what your wearing tonight. Tricia did, she always thinks things out beforehand. She was also pleased with herself. Moving in with Tina was a good idea. She was aware of how responsible she had been that evening. Unfortunately that responsibility was not to last very long at all.

Chapter Twenty - Summertime

Summertime

2008-06-11T22:20:00.004+01:00

By the way, the sun was shining in Manchesta, YAY!

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

One of these mornings
You're going to rise up singing
Then you'll spread your wings
And you'll take to the sky

But till that morning
There's a'nothing can harm you
With daddy and mamma standing by

Summertime,
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And Tricia is high

Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

Part 20 – Where Tricia goes into a space she can’t remember or forget and is very, very, irresponsible

Tricia had lots of friends around her. Crystal Chandelier and the Limpet were there, Mark and Glenda were there as of course was Tina and a lovely young girl they had just met called Aba. So she was in safe hands.

Easy Trish, easy. Just melt away. Its fun and its different. It’s very, very different. Easy does it girl.

Chapter Twenty One - Ladies who Lunch

Ladies Who Lunch

2008-06-10T20:21:00.004+01:00

This completes a totally mad weekend where I did a lot of things I shouldn’t. I can’t say I’m particularly proud of myself but was lead astray (believe that and you’ll believe anything). Piccy is of my favourite hooker, Antonia, outside Via Fosse and by the way...

-----------------------------------------
Here's to the ladies who lunch--
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf.
Off to the gym,
Then to a fitting,
Claiming they're fat.
And looking grim,
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.

And here's to the girls who play smart--
Aren't they a gas?
Rushing to their classes
In optical art,
Wishing it would pass.
Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars,
A matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I'll drink to that.
And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls who play wife--
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house but clutching
A copy of LIFE,
Just to keep in touch.
The ones who follow the rules,
And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they're fools.
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch--
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.
Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
I'll drink to that.

So here's to the girls on the go--
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies.
A toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch.
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch--
Everybody rise!
Rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!

Chapter 21 – In which Tricia reads her sonnet, Penny returns to town, as does Antonia and Tricia is irresponsible again!

Tina picked Tricia up from Paddy’s, both under-dressed after a hard days work and took her to Tranny Towers. Tricia had previously got her mind into gear on the train coming down. It used to take her the best part of a day, now a couple of hours will do. She was writing the blog and listening to Cabaret on her headphones. Back at their flat the girls chatted as they got ready for the evening. Tricia recited the sonnet she had written for Lady Morgana. It is called ‘A Love Shared’

I kneel down at my Goddess’s throne,
Head lowered, my tongue caresses her feet
Slowly I descend into the zone
The space where they both long to meet

I rise; I pass her well and her peaks
I inhale deeply, she looks divine
I very gently kiss her cheeks
I realise it will soon be time

Her pouting lips betray a grin
As all of my resistance dies
She motions me, time to begin
I gracefully lie between her thighs

And the crop lashes down from high up above
They were as one, sharing their love

Tricia hoped to meet Lady Morgana again over the weekend, but there was no rush. She was quite pleased with her first effort because it is not an easy thing to write. The girls dressed quietly for the Friday night out, but sexily. Tricia wore her black dress, Tina her tartan skirt. The weather was warm so there were plenty of legs in evidence. Maybe they didn’t look too much like prostitutes as they waited for the cab to take them back to Paddys, and to Penny who was back in England with some news.

Despite her best efforts to land a job as a papergirl, she ended up second in command of an engineering company in Milan with a brief to turn the company round. Poor Penny, but you know what they say. “Look after your Pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves”. Penny will naturally dress like a schoolgirl in her new role.

Onto Naps where the girls bump into Habib and Amanda. They are pleased that everything is going extremely well between them. Then Josh turns up and Trish and Tina decide to take him back home with them. Tricia was used as the warm-up before warming up herself in her new bed for the first time. Very comfortable is was too. She managed to get to sleep despite all the noise emanating from Tina’s room.

The next day the girls walked in to Paddys through the canals. Tricia wrote a poem about walking through canals and locks but it is not sure why she did so. Tina made an unfortunate fashion howler, wearing white socks with her black stilettos. All the girls could hear were chants of “white socks, white socks as they were walking. Maybe it should have been Chicago but the song has already been chosen. Unfortunately Tina was not Anna Kornikova and neither was her outfit. Trinny tried to warn her but to no avail. So they get to Paddys and begin to realise just strong, for a twelve year old girl, Penny’s mind is.
“Just take those ridiculous things off” she said. And Tina did. Tricia realised that she needed to be more assertive.

The girls, back together, wondered aroud Canal Street where they met up with Aba. Aba was a very young, very attractive gg with some demons in the closet. She didn’t know what she was meant to be. Tricia felt she just needed some time to sort herself out.; but there was no denying what a lovely girl she was. She was interested in our girls’ lifestyle but didn’t pry too much. Tricia hopes they meet up again and expects Aba to have a very successful and happy life.

Penny had to leave to go to to Milan at this point, so the girls said their goodbyes and Tina, Trish and Aba went back to Paddys where you already know what happened. Oh Tricia, how could you? Tricia found it amazing though.

Trish was woken up (she did eventually get back to her bed) by a text from Antonia.
“Hi honey sorry I’ve not been in touch lately. Hope you r well? Not sure if u r in Manchesta today bit I am. Fancy a lunch? Xx”
Tricia, though ready herself, expected Tina would be about another hour. She had only just decided what to wear and informed Antonia of that fact. She was sitting outside on the balcony of Tranny Towers when she received another text.
“See me outside pub Mahler, I mean Via, lol”
Eventually, and after much cajoling, Tina was ready and the girls took the cab to meet Antonia.

Antonia looked absolutely stunning sitting outside Via Fosse in the sunshine. She certainly had a body to die for. The talk quickly got round to her profession and why she is called Silver Shadow. The girls now understand.
“What I sell is not sex” said Antonia, “but love”. Then the talked turned to how stoned Tricia was the previous evening and to drugs in general. Antonia was already on the look-out. As Tina went inside to buy the next round, behind them, coming down Canal Street, was a two-man band collecting for charity. As Antonia and Tricia tossed their coins into the bucket, Trish recognized the tune being played. It was ‘Can’t buy me love’ by the Beatles. We now know for sure that this isn’t true.

So finally, well after lunchtime in fact, the girls grabbed a bite to eat. Well Tina and Antonia did in any case. Tricia didn’t want any food stopping her drinking which was now in full flow. They took Antonia to Paddy’s but the girls felt that Antonia wasn’t over-impressed with the fifties style décor. It wasn’t really Antonia’s cup of tea, or wine, or vodka come to that.

Antonia discussed some of the tools of her trade. Her £800 handbag; her absolutely gorgeous travel bag. She put on her hooker lipstick and boy, did it make a difference. She was very, very high maintenance. She also got chatting to very strange black man who disappeared for a while but returned, with exactly what Antonia wanted.

Now, where do naughty girls go when they don’t want anyone to see what they are doing. Why, the changing room of course. They borrowed the key from the bar at Via using the ruse that Antonia hadn’t seen it before, went downstairs and locked themselves in. They were very careful. They left the changing room exactly as they had found it. There was not a speck of dust to be found anywhere. Oh Tricia, how could you do it again? Twice in two days. So much for your new found responsibility.

The girls, now pretty high, went back to Tranny Towers where they talked some more before falling asleep, holding each others hands, on Tina’s bed. What a mad weekend! But no Lady Morgana!.

Chapter Twenty Two - Every Time We Say Goodbye I Cry a Little

Every Time we Say Goodbye I Cry a Little

2008-06-09T23:42:00.007+01:00

This is probably the hardest one to write!

Every time we say goodbye
I die a little
Every time we say goodbye
I wonder why a little
Why the Goddess above me
Who must be in the know
Think so little to me
They allow you to go

When you're near
there's such an air
of Spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere
begin to sing about it
There’s no love song finer
But how strange the change
From major to minor
Every time we say goodbye

When you're near
There’s such an air
of Spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere
Begin to sing about it
There’s no love song finer
But how strange the change
From major to minor
Every time you say

There’s no love song finer
But how strange
The change from major to minor
Every time we say goodbye

Remember though, I am a parent of twin girls and its hard the other way too!

Chapter 22 – Leaving

The Company mobile phone warbles and it’s the hardest time of all for Tricia. Its 7:00 a.m. on Monday morning and she has to change back to male professional and be in work for ten. She still has make-up and nail varnish on from last night. She is in her nightie but wishes to remain as Tricia as long as she can. She sighs, gets out of bed, and puts on her pink dressing gown.

There is no electricity in Tranny Towers so her first job is to boil up some water on the camper gas stove. She puts a big pan on. Some for her coffee and some for her to wash in. She relieves herself in her accustomed manner, sitting down (ha-ha who’s kidding who) and she gets her girly pill ready to take with her coffee. At this stage the gas cylinder may have exploded, but as we know Tricia can sort these things out?

She makes her coffee and leaves it to cool. She removes her make-up using cotton buds and make-up remover. She then puts the remains of the hot water into the sink and thoroughly washes her hands and face. She brushes her teeth, packs up her sponge bag and puts it in her holdall. She does not shave. She wants to look manly ha-ha and look like an office worker. It gets harder every time. One day she is sure she will leave Manchester as Tricia.

Next she sorts out which clothes she needs to back with her to wash. No electricity so no washing machine in Tranny Towers. She packs those then makes sure all her dresses are properly hung in her coffin and her make-up and jewelry are correctly stored away where they should be. She doesn’t forget her nails so on with the nail-varnish remover. There will still be some traces left (as they were painted red) but Tricia doesn’t mind. It will remind her during the week. She smells her wrists. She can still smell her perfume. She smiles.

Now’s the time Tricia, time to go!

She puts on her drab. He looks at himself in Tina’s full length mirror. I can’t convince anyone he thinks and soon he won’t. He’ll just about do for now though. Check no jewelry (apart from ear studs), lock the door, down the lift and out (or back in the closet). Goodbye Manchester, goodbye Tricia, but he will make the most of a bad job.

He walks to the station using the streets, not the canals; don’t think too hard – have to be him, not her. At the station he has fifteen minutes to wait for a train. He has a cigarette outside the station. He loves that girls outfit. Where did she get it? Would it suit Trish? Wow look at that handbag, bet that cost a bomb. He goes into the station and buys a cappuccino. The train pulls in. He is lucky, he finds a seat. He gets out his girly pink mp3 player and puts on Rachmaninov. He opens his diary, this diary, to start on his blog. The one you are reading now. What happened at the weekend? Where are her notes?

The train pulls out and Manchester is about to become Tricia-less. Is it better for it? He thinks. Probably not, but it will still be there when Tricia returns in only 104 hours and 30 minutes times  He bets it will still be raining.

The wretched mobile phone wakes up again. At least its tune reminds him of happy things, actually of cricket. “Hi Iain, Are you ok for a meeting at eleven”. Iain? Whose Iain? Oh yes he remembers now. “Think so, won’t be in until ten though, will let you know for sure then”. From the timeless, open, friendly, free world Tricia has come, Iain has joined the rat race. He is about to lead a life of deadlines, blame, avoidance of responsibility, greed, finance, politics and stress. A world ruled by time and that wretched Company mobile phone. Never mind. He’ll survive, and he needs to earn some money to fund all the gorgeous dresses and make-up.

Tricia is happy, Iain is happy, Tricia is lucky, very lucky. Thank you Iain.

Chapter Twenty Three - Maria

Maria

2008-06-08T23:01:00.008+01:00

“Hiya Tricia”
“Hello Trish”
“You been a good girl Trish?”
“Tricia, you back again”
“Tricia, what are you drinking?” (I wish)
“Trish, is Tina out tonight?”
“Tricia, you up for it tonight” (I wish again)
“Tricia, lovely to see you again”
“Hi Trish, love that outfit”
“Tricia, are you going to stay sober this time”
"Trish, you got a spare fag”
“Trish, your looking good”
“Tricia, how much did you have yesterday”

I am now known around the village and that is brilliant. Not only to I get to dress for two or three days a week but I am also constantly called Tricia or Trish. It all helps me become her. It makes it easier to chant:

“I am Tricia Dale”
“I am Tricia Dale”

Piccy is of me on the canal, taken by Alex, and by the way, do I surprise you?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tricia . . .
The most beautiful sound I ever heard:
Tricia, Tricia, Tricia, Tricia . . .
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word . .
Tricia, Tricia, Tricia, Tricia . . .
Tricia!
I've just met a girl named Tricia,
And suddenly that name
Will never be the same
To me.
Tricia!
I've just kissed a girl named Tricia,
And suddenly I've found
How wonderful a sound
Can be!
Tricia!
Say it loud and there's music playing,
Say it soft and it's almost like praying.

Tricia,
I'll never stop saying Tricia!

The most beautiful sound I ever heard.
Tricia.

I so enjoyed this. I really felt like a woman with Alex. The reaction to what happened later I am still living through, but each day gets easier. By the end of this week it will be totally neutral. It was harder than I thought doing it the other way round though!

Chapter 24 – In which a lot of Tricia’s body gets invaded.

Tina met Tricia in Paddys, took her back to Tranny Towers and gave her the key fob. Tina had to work the following day so Trish had to go solo that night. Thursday night, quiet night, so Tricia put on her patterned tea dress and black tights. She likes that outfit. She’s such a conservative girl. Tina dropped her back at Paddys where she had a chat with Mark before bumping into Alex.

Alex likes to talk but Trish was more than happy with that after working all day and traveling down. Tricia actually is a very good listener. Eventually the bell sounded announcing closing time and Alex asked Tricia if he could come back. Tricia said yes and they walked the canals hand in hand under the moonlight.

Back at Tranny Towers Alex asked Trish whether she still had her school uniform. She did, but not there unfortunately. Alex then asked whether Tricia had a secretary’s outfit. Did she just! Tricia quickly changed into red blouse and sexy black pencil skirt with stockings and suspenders.

Had Tricia been a naughty girl? Had she just! And about three minutes later the sexy black pencil skirt was around her ankles, as were her panties. How could she have been so silly? Why had she forgotten to post the letter? How could she have known it was going to cost her boss money?

And the rugged Northern Mill Owner pulled the poor defenseless girl across his solid thighs. Her backside twitched as she prepared herself for what was to happen. And his hand came down and she gave a little cry. Both of pain and of delight. She wasn’t finished with, even after that though. The strong Mancunian entrepreneur lifted her like a rag doll and positioned her over the bed. And she opened, like a flower in bloom, to let him in. For the first time in her young life she enjoyed her role in nature. In fact she adored it. He was very rough with her but she now realised; the rougher the better. Shortly afterwards they were lying in bed; him snoring gently, her with her head on his chest thinking.

At least I’ve been responsible, at least he used protection. But I so enjoyed it!

Tricia got up at around 10 in the morning, made Alex a coffee and took her time getting dressed. Well it wasn’t just getting dressed! In fact it took her so long to get ready that they didn’t leave the flat until 12:30. She was getting as bad as Tina. They walked back to Paddys through the canals and met Tom. On the television was the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games which was very impressive. Tricia only had one thing on her mind though and no, it wasn’t that! She’d just had that.

She left Paddys at half three and walked into town, to where she thought she could get what she needed. She could. She made an appointment for 16:50. Her head was in a bit of a whirl though so she went shopping and bought herself a coffee to clear it. She returned at the appointed time and was told to sit down on the couch. She was also told that it would be fine and it wouldn’t hurt.

She shut her eyes. She heard one thud, then another and indeed it didn’t hurt. Next she was covered with two wax strips which were abruptly pulled off. That didn’t hurt either. Then the lady expertly tweezered around where the wax strips were. This was easy. But what would be the reaction? Particularly at work. Tricia would worry about that later. For now she proudly walked out of the salon with two feminine studs in each ear and her eyebrows shaped. It was time to go back to Paddys to meet Tina.

Chapter Twenty Four - Wouldn't It be Lovely

Wouldn't It be Lovely

2008-06-07T21:20:00.004+01:00

I really don't know what was going on here, but never mind, it was fun. Piccy (of Tricia) is I think my favourite so far. I even look quite sweet.

Oh, and by the way, this will take a while!

---------------------------------------------------

All I want is a room somewhere,
Far away from the cold night air.
With one enormous chair,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Lots of choc'lates for me to eat,
Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat.
Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still.
I would never budge 'till spring
Crept over me windowsill.
Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee,
Warm an' tender as 'e can be. 'ho takes good care of me,
Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?
Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly

Chapter 24 – In which Tricia meets Tina’s new boyfriend (for five minutes), looks for paint and plans her room

Tina’s new boyfriend, Nick called. It was Saturday morning. “We’ve got to look for paint for Tricia” said Tina.
“That’s ok, mind if I come along too”, said Nick.
“We can try Homebase and if not there then go to the Trafford Centre”
“It’s a deal”, said Tina
Tricia was glad people were organizing her life rather that the other way round for a change.

Eventually they got into the car, picked up Nick and stopped at Homebase. Guess what, the rain was lashing down again. Tricia got some ideas. Lilac she thinks and realises she probably needs Ikea for the furniture. She’ll have fun putting that lot together. She is utterly hopeless at things like that. She supposes she’ll have to find a man to do it for her. She thinks she will be able to.

Into the Trafford Centre and shops and sales galore. Poor Nick, but the girls were in their element. They went into shop after shop trying to save money.; checking things out for each other. It was clear that the Trafford Centre had never seen trannys before. They went into Wolkos to compare the paint prices. Wilko’s did the better deal. Tricia is fairly sure she knows what she wants but just needs to mull it over for a while. It transpires that Nick is not allowed in Wilkos as he had an altercation with one of the members of staff. That has to be well weird. Bared from a pub yes, bared from a shop???

Anyway, opposite Wilko’s was a real discovery for the girls. A sensational boutique. With help from the enthusiastic shop assistants, Tina managed to spend two months wages. Tricia bought a pretty pink top and a dea sexy yellow dress to match the dead sexy purple dress Tina had bought. They were going to dress as twins during Pride weekend which was just around the corner. Poor Nick; he was stuck with two young ladies in the dress shop of their dreams. So he took his revenge.

“I know a good pub only a minute away from here”, he said.
“Goody”, said Tricia not knowing the area.
“Are you sure?” said Tina, knowing the area.

They walked past a gang of youths who whistled and jeered at them and into a pub protected by a guard-dog. Tina had a cigarette outside. Trish went in; after all, she had been in a pub with a locked door before. Tina eventually came in and bought herself a drink. A guy wandered across to them and mentioned that they weren’t really welcome there. Not nastily at all, but they were a bit too much for people to handle. He later withdrew the remark but the girls took the hint. They walked back into the Trafford Centre past the leering youths.
“There’s the pimp, and there’s his two bitches” Laughter and catcalls.
“Life can only get better”, said Tina
“Life is fun”, said Tricia

They went back to Paddys and met up with Tom who was going to paint Tricia’s room for her. Tina took Trish outside.
“I’ve ditched Nick”, she said
“How can you possibly go out with someone whose been banned from Wilkos”
“Don’t blame you hon”, said Tricia
“But you’ve been out with much worse I reckon”
“What do you mean?” said Tina
“Like burgler Bill”, said Tricia
“Who, Alex” said Tina
“Damn. I must stay sober in future”, said Tricia knowing there was no chance.

Chapter Twenty Five - Endgame

Endgame

2008-06-07T12:24:00.007+01:00

My walk and my deportment are so important to me at the moment. My make-up is getting better, my looks are getting better but I let myself down because I stoop a littl.e Tina keeps shouting “straight” at me for me to straighten my back. This is in fact holding me back which is why I need to concentrate on it. Piccy is of a rather goth looking me (Tricia) before going out for the day. Oh, and by the way, which way do I turn?

-----------------------------------------

CHOIR
1866 Wilhelm Steinitz
1894 Emanuel Lasker

MOLOKOV
How straightforward the game
When one has trust in one's player(Choir 1921 Jose Capablanca)
And how great the relief
Working for one who believes in
Loyalty, heritage, true to his kind come what may

CHOIR
1927 Alexander Alekine

THE AMARICAN
Though it gives me no joy (The Russian 1935 Euwe)
Adding to your satisfaction (Choir 1948 Mikhail Botvinnik)
You can safely assume
That your late unlamented employee
Knows if he wins then the only thing won is the chess

CHOIR
1957 Vasily Smyslov

MOLOKOV
It's the weak who accept (Florence 1960 Tal)
Tawdry untruths about freedom (Choir 1963 Tigran Petrosian)
Prostituting themselves
Chasing a spurious starlight
Trinkets in airports sufficient to lead them astray

CHOIR
1969 Boris Spassky

FLORENCE
Does the player exist (Choir 1972 Bobby Fischer)
In any human endeavour (Choir 1975 Anatoly Karpov)
Who's been known to resist
Sirens of fame and possessions ?
They will destroy you, not rivals, not age, not success

THE RUSSIAN
They all think they see a man
Who doesn't know
Which move to make
Which way to go
Whose private life
Caused his decline
Wrecked his grand design

Some are vicious, some are fools
And others blind
To see in me one of there kind

Anyone can be
A husband, lover
Sooner them than me
When they discover
Their domestic bliss is
Shelter for their failing

Nothing could be worse
Than self-denial
Having to rehearse
To endless trial
Of a partners rather sad
Demands prevailing

SVETLANA
As you watch yourself caring
About a minor sporting triumph, sharing
Your win with esoterics,
Paranoids, hysterics,
Who don't pay any attention to
What goes on around them
They leave the one they love the way they found them
A normal person must
Dismiss you with disgust
And weep for those who trusted you

THE RUSSIAN
Nothing you have said
is revelation
Take my blues as read
My consolation -

Finding out that I'm my one true obligation
(Crowd cheer)

SVETLANA AND THE CROWD
Listen to them shout
They saw you do it
In their minds no doubt
That you've been through it
Suffered for your art
But in the end a winner

Who could not be stirred
Such dedication
We have never heard
Such an ovation
Skill and guts a model
For the young beginner

They're completely enchanted
But they don't take your qualities for granted
It isn't very often
That the critics soften
Nonetheless you've won their hearts
How can we begin to
Appreciate the work that you've put into
Your calling through the years
The blood, the sweat, the tears
The late, late nights, the early starts
There they go again!
Your deeds enflame them
Drive them wild, but then
Who wants to tame them
If they want a part of you
Who'd really blame them ?
(Crowd cheer louder still)

THE RUSSIAN
And so you're letting me know -

SVETLANA
For you're the only one who's never suffered anything at all

THE RUSSIAN
How you've hated my success -

SVETLANA
Well I won't crawl -
And you can slink back to your pawns
and to your tarts

THE RUSSIAN
And every poisoned word shows that you never understood

SVETLANA
Liar!

THE RUSSIAN
Never!

BOTH
Nothing you have said
Is revelation
Take my blues as read
My consolation -

SVETLANA
Finding out that I'm my only obligation

THE RUSSIAN
Is there no one in my life
Who will not claim
The right to steal
My work, my name
My success, my fame
And my freedom

Chapter 25 – In which Tricia designs her room , its Marlon’s birthday, there is some good news and some bad news, the girls join a hen party and Tricia makes a discovery.
Tricia has to think about her bedroom. The good new is that she has. The bad news is that its time for action. She has a budget, she has a coffin, she has a single bed but that’s about it at the moment. The first step is to get the electricity on.

Tricia believes in P,D,I,M which stands for Plan, Design, Implement, Manage. She has done the plan bit and is now onto design,

She needs two full length wardrobes for all her dresses (numbers 5 and 6), a four shelf unit for all her undies (number 4), a dressing table with drawers and a make-up mirror (number 8) for all her cosmetics, cleansers and jewelry. With a stool (number 9). A shelf unit (number 7), She’s not quite sure why yet but she’ll think of something. A double bed (number 1) because she doesn’t intend playing with buzzy bee all the time. A bedside table (number 2), preferably with a drawer where she can put her lube and condoms. A full length mirror (number 3) because she likes looking at herself, vain cow that she is. Curtains carpets and paint. First she needs paint because Tom is going to do it for her.

She is thinking lilac for the walls and red for the ceiling. But then she thinks again. Maybe red for the walls so her room will resemble a brothel. No, definitely lilac and she needs to think how it will all work with Tina’s room and the rest of the flat, which comes later. As no doubt will all the people who share Tricia’s double bed with her. Grape ceiling. There, she’s decided.

The girls were ready for an afternoon’s socializing. Tina is a hippy again, she likes hippy stuff and looks good in it. Trish looks seductive in her black dress. They maybe don’t look too much like prostitutes as they wait for a cab to take them to Paddys; and in truth, do not create much of a stir.

A couple of cabs go by, the girls can’t see if there is anybody in them (apart from the drivers) but it annoys Tina. Tricia is fairly chilled about it, she just loves being out there. Actually she prefers walking. She gets more exposure that way and its only about half-an-hour along the towpath of the canal. It’s a nice walk and gives her time to herself, to think and to plan. Anyway, the third cab stops for them and takes them outside clone-zone where its just a short walk to Paddys. We need a map.

At the bar are Mark and Tom. Tom is going to paint Tricia’s room for her so she needs to keep him sweet. But sweet is Tricia’s middle name. He is unimpressed about the lack of electricity in the flat and doesn’t think Tricia will sort it out. She will though. He suggests Tricia buys nothing until the room is painted, but as we know Tricia has a plan. Clear out absolutely everything she can next weekend then Tom can get working.

Sadly for Mark, his Father recently passed away and he is left dealing with the estate. It’s a funny old world. Tricia learned earlier that very day that her eldest daughter is pregnant; so she is going to be a grandmother ha-ha. Later in the week she learned that a friend she confides in also suffered a lost on the same day in the shape of her eldest son. Tricia feels very sorry for her, that must be devastating as he was only 19. How do these things all join up? Are they connected or are they as random as Tricia herself?

Marlon came from the smoking shelter. “It’s my birthday, are you girls going to buy me a drink?” Typical Marlon he’s always after something. Marlon was twenty. Tina and Tricia wish they were still twenty although they act like it (Tricia 20 already, what is going on?) They do however celebrate Marlon’s birthday with a glass of sambuca, lovely.

The girls decide to move on to Canal Street and Tina notices a hen party and, being the shy person she is, decides to sit next to them. Tina is getting more confident by the day. The hen party are pleased to see the two girls, particularly Melissa who talks to Tricia and Kellie who talks to Tina. It is agreed that if Tina wishes to have breasts, the best thing to do is to have implants and that Tricia should carry on doing what she is i.e. taking her tablets, as she doesn’t yet know for sure whether she is TV or TS. The girls pose for some pictures with the hen party who go on their way happy.

Off to Naps where Tricia gets to meet Lee and Donna. Lee is the other way altogether.; girl wanting to be boy; and she’s doing a very good job of it although she finds it draining and frustrating. Donna is her girlfriend, very pretty, very sexy. Lee is lucky boy thinks Tricia.

Onto the dance floor and Trish makes a discovery.
“Tina, I think I know what the problem is” said Tricia
“Well at least your not knocking everybody over” said Tina
“Its my left leg, I broke it once skiing. Look my right foot opens out perfectly, as Tara told me. My left foot really struggles though.
“So that’s why your dancing from corner to corner in a perfectly predictable manner”
“Yes, and nobody’s cowering in the corner now”
“No, they’re now cowering on the sides”, said Tina jokingly. “I think I’ll call you the bishop”
“You know I’m not a bishop Tina, I’m a dancing Queen!”
“No your not Trish, you’re a pawn remember”.
“Maybe I should concentrate on being a knight for now as it will be an improvement and that will please Tara.
Tricia did improve as the night wore on and, in fact, by the end of the evening did make a rather good knight.

Chapter Twenty Six - Secret Love

Secret Love

2008-06-06T23:50:00.009+01:00

The nicest way to get to the village from tranny towers is to walk along the canal paths. I love doing this; it gives me time to think. About half way there is a bar called Duke’s where I often stop and have a beer. Piccy of me (Tricia) is taken on the canal towpath just after the pub. Guess what's written on my t-shirt?

By the way, and about time! Look at the different way Doris Day rides the horse, in the countryside and in the town. Sems familiar to me, though I can't ride horses!

Once I had a secret love
That lived within the heart of me
All too soon my secret love
Became impatient to be free

So I told a friendly star
The way that dreamers often do
Just how wonderful you are
And why I'm so in love with you

Now I shout it from the highest hills
Even told the golden daffodils
At last my heart's an open door
And my secret love's no secret anymore

Chapter 26 – Arrival

I walk along canals and locks
I watch a young girl feed the ducks
The sun is high, the breeze is strong
This is a place where I belong

I buy a beer, I feel so calm
I’m looking pretty, I’m feeling fine
Dressed to kill and made-up too
Now what does Tricia want to do?

Buy some shoes or buy a dress
She’s waited too long to impress
Fifty years to be here
Celebrate with another beer?

To the boutiques she will go
Her vulnerability will be on show
But boys and girls, its fine to talk
That tranny there walks the walk

She struts her stuff, she feels so proud
She wants to scream, to shout out loud
I am Tricia, I am she
I am who I want to be.

Chapter Twenty Seven - Lili Marlene

Lili Marlene

2008-06-05T21:48:00.004+01:00

I am definitely nearly there. I am so much more confident (maybe too confident) walking around town. I now am looking for people to make comments and enjoying them. Piccy this time is of Tina – you’ve seen enough of me - who was compared to Marlene Dietrich. It’s amazing what a few beers can do. It reminds me of a story.

A man who was sitting in the pub one evening drinking pint after pint of beer kept looking into his shirt pocket.
“Why do you keep looking in your pocket”, said the guy opposite.
“Are, well you see; in there is a picture of my wife and when she looks attractive enough I know its time to go home”

By the way this one’s for Tina, and also for Megan who I hope is happy in Oz. It had to be done by Deitrich in German!

-------------------------------------------------

Underneath the lantern by the barrack gate
Darling I remember the way you used to wait
Twas there that you whispered tenderly
That you loved me
You'd always be
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Time would come for roll call
Time for us to part
Darling I'd caress you and press you to my heart
And there 'neath that far off lantern light
I'd hold you tight
We'd kiss good-night
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Orders came for sailing somewhere over there
All confined to barracks was more than I could bear
I knew you were waiting in the street
I heard your feet
But could not meet
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Resting in a billet just behind the line
Even tho' we're parted your lips are close to mine
You wait where that lantern softly gleams
Your sweet face seems to haunt my dreams
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

When we are marching in the mud and cold,
And when my pack seems more than I can hold
My love for you renews my might
I'm warm again
My pack is light
It's you Lili Marlene
It's you Lili Marlene

Chapter 27 – In which the girls are accused of being thieves, Tina get likened to a film star, they meet up with Megan and Becky for the first time and Tricia gets lost.

Tina did the usual on Friday night. The girls were about to go home and she hadn’t yet pulled so she went up to the first guy she could find and chatted him up. He was called Martin. The three shared a cab back to Tranny Towers. In the cab Martin says to the girls “You’re not going to rob me are you?” then he asks them to share the cab fare. Share the cab fare? What’s that all about? Martin is about to be given his wicked way with Tina and she has to share the cab fare. Who is the prostitute there then for goodness sake?

It was quite ironic when the following day in the smoking shelter at Paddy’s Tina made a pithy remark and commented,
“God, I sound like a pro”
“No your not Tina, your just a tart” was Tricia’s immediate response.
It was during that time when someone, whose glasses were full of beer said to Tina,
“You know who remind me of?” the question was loaded, both girls’ ears pricked up.
“No”, said Tina
“Marlene Dietrich, that’s who”
Tricia’s beer spluttered out of her mouth into the smoking shelter and all over everyone.
“Marlene Dietrich?”
“Marlene Dietrich?”
“She has elegance, class, beauty, style, intelligence, wit and can sing. Tina sings born on the wrong side badly”, Tricia was being a little harsh.
Tina simply smiled contentedly to herself.
“I’ll have to look her up on the Internet, Trish”
“Think you’d better leave” said Tricia to Harry, the perpetrator of the remark “You’re causing ructions”

They were also talking to a couple. Megan, originally from Oz so she knows about cricket, and Becky from Manchester via USA, so she knows about musicals. It was a match made in heaven for Megan, Becky and Tricia. Tina will learn soon thought Tricia but they all had a great time and a load of beer in any case. Megan and Becky eventually had to leave, because Megan is a chef and needed to chop things with a steady hand in the morning. That got Tricia wondering whether she should go along as well. Not yet she thought, I am no where near ready for that and, in any case, I am far too happy where I am at the moment.

The girls argue about three things:
1.Music; Tricia likes classical, opera, musicals, romantic, melodic, Pink Floyd and Peter Gabriel. Tina likes Hawkwind, Pink Floyd and Peter Gabriel so there is some common ground.
2.Travel. We already know that Tricia likes walking along the canal. Tina always prefers to take a taxi which, after all, is only £5 from Tranny Towers (£6 after 8 p.m.)
3.Food and when to eat. Tina is a northerner (from Manchester) so likes her meals at given times. Tricia however eats when she feels like it but prefers to drink, and eating gets in the way.

It was Tricia’s predilection for drink that nearly proved her downfall that night. They continued drinking in Paddy’s and then went on too Naps where she had even more. Tricia drunk so much in fact that Tina had to intervene and kindly put her on a cab back giving the driver instructions. Unfortunately the driver got lost and asked Tricia the way. No chance!. Not only was Tricia drunk but she also only new three routes back; one using the canal was not much use to a cab driver, and they were off the other two. So she used what little she had left of her brain. She knew the cab cost £6 so she waited until the clock moved on to £6 then she told the driver to let her off. She must be close.

So there was Tricia, in miniscule white dress and glossy tights at 2:30 in the morning in the outskirts of Manchester, lost. She could have been in Moss Side for all she knew. She decided to go for it. She turned left, clutching her handbag for dear life, because she thought she recognized something. She passed a crowd of youths across the other side of the street. They started catcalling and whistling. They didn’t know the truth however. They thought she was a pro not a t-girl. Tricia quickly pulled herself together. The only chance was to get another taxi, but where was she going to? Where on earth was Tranny Towers? She flagged a taxi down and thought hard.
“Do you know the big roundabout where Mancunian way joins Deansgate?” she asked
“I think I know where you mean”
“Well tell me when you are close and I will look for landmarks. There is an old church.”
“Ok, I think we’ll find it” the cab driver was nice, Tricia was lucky.
“Ok, were nearly there, tell me if you recognize anything” he said.
“Yes, there’s the church, pull up on the left, thank you, thank you, can I give you a big hug?”
“Sorry darling, I’m straight”
He could have got a lot more than a hug if he knew what Tricia knew. That we are all born bisexual and its society that changes us, but never mind, the cab fare was only £6 so she must have gone in a triangle!

She was a lucky, lucky girl!

She knows!

Chapter Twenty Eight - I Feel Pretty

I Feel Pretty

2008-06-04T22:19:00.005+01:00

This one just had to happen. So without further ado, and by the way:

TRICIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

GIRLS
Have you met my good friend TRICIA,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
TRICIA we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

TRICIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

TRICIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

TRICIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS
What mirror where?

TRICIA
Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

TRICIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Chapter 28 – Make-up make-up never do it again. If you do you get the cane - yes please!

Having washed, shaved, cleaned her teeth and dressed (she doesn’t want to put make-up on her clothes), she props her mirror on her pillow and lies on the bed. She doesn’t yet have a dressing table though sometimes she can use Tina’s. First she puts on her foundation. She has had her foundation the whole time and it is still only half used. Mind it did cost her £60. It is thick and creamy. With a sponge she covers her face and neck. It is the start.

Now for the powder. She has a big brush to put that on with. She can either go brown by using the centre of her press or natural by using the edge. She doesn’t suppose it matters much. She is quite pragmatic. She knows that however long she takes tucking her jeans into her boots at home, as soon as she takes one step outside they will flap out. So she mixes the powder; she will be a Mediterranean girl again today. She waits a while for the powder to settle.

While she is waiting she touches up her finger nails with pink polish. She is not very good at this, particularly on her right hand because she is right handed. She somehow manages only getting a little on her skin which she removes using a pad and remover. She waits a moment for the nail varnish to dry blowing slightly on her nails.

Next is concealer. Most of the products she used are from Lancome including Renergie Lift Concealer SPF20. Lancome is expensive but it thick, creamy and luscious and is lovely to put on. It has the hardest job in the world. With all the beer she drinks it might as well give up; but it doesn’t. She uses her finger tips to try to cover the bags under her eyes and her laughter lines. It sort of works.

Then the eyes. She doesn’t want to emphasize them too much as she has a spot on her left eyelid. She keeps meaning to have it cut off but never finds the time to get to the doctor. Life is too hectic. The hardest part of all is the eyeliner. She has tried so many but has finally found one which works. It is liquid and this one is from Max Factor. It is called Masterpiece Glide & Define eyeliner. The problem now is that it goes on too easily so she puts too much on and it smudges everywhere. She has to take it off and start again. It doesn’t help that she has drunk far too much the night before and that her hands are shaking like she is in an earthquake. This time however she manages it, just and her Japanese eyes are defined.

Time for her mascara. She is much better at this. She uses CILS design Pro again by Lancombe. She paid a lot for it but it is worth it. It is so black and thick that it doubles the length of her previously unacceptable lashes. She puts on two coats. While waiting for it to dry she puts on her blush. It is supposed to cover where you naturally blush but she hasn’t blushed for a year. How can you possibly get embarrassed when you do what she does? She got advice from a MAC consultant to put two stripe of blush down her cheeks (after all she fights like a tiger). It seems to work for her though so that’s what she does. The mascara has by now dried so back to her eyes. She doesn’t wish to over-emphasize them so keeps it simple. A light, almost natural shade above the lids which slightly accentuates her now shaped eyebrows. Darker on the lids themselves because she wants people to see she is wearing eye shadow when she blinks. She thinks that is dead sexy.

Next comes jewelry and perfume before the big flourish. She has studs in her ears which
she has to keep turning, well for a few more weeks yet, so no worries about earrings. She likes her bangles, on this occasion ethnic and they will go with her ethnic necklace; she is a fashionable girl after all. Three rings which seem to go on easily but are a nightmare to get off. Then perfume (Victoria Beckham's Intimately range)on both wrists and elbows (in the evening she will spray some on her ear lobes as well).

To the final and best bit. First some lip plumper which, given a couple of minutes, will make her lips full and easy to paint. While she is waiting for the limp plumper to work she fluffs out and re-brushes her wig then puts it on. She now needs Tina’s full length mirror to straighten it and style it with her hands. She loves this bit. The wig can settle in all sorts of different positions and she needs to be imaginative about how she finally styles it. Wig done, its time for the lippy which she paints on using a small sponge brush. Subsequent applications will be straight from the tube but it helps to get it just right at the start. In the evening she might add lip gloss but not now. She is ready, she feels sexy, she feels gorgeous, she looks and smells Tricia. One cigarette to let everything settle, one final look in Tina’s big mirror, jacket on then she is out into the big wide wild world. What happens next she doesn’t know. That is why it’s such fun being Tricia.

<Chapter Twenty Nine - Hallelujah

Hallelujah

2008-06-03T23:59:00.006+01:00

I had a problem here. I agreed with Megan and Becky that we would choose a Leonard Cohen song as we all adore Leonard Cohen; but the rules of my particular game are that the song must come from a film or musical. This was Pride weekend and the village was buzzing. I had a great time, but I don’t think Iain approved! What was Becky doing to Tricia in the photo?

By the way, and from Shrek! (Pity it wasn’t from Lion King)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Chapter 29 – Pride Weekend.

It is Pride. Are we proud? Is Tricia proud? Tricia is proud. She has gone a huge distance in a short space of time and is still (just about) controlling it all. Having just done Sparkle, for transgendered people, this really is the big one. The biggest GBLT fest in the country. The village will not be Tricia’s any more. It will be shared with over a thousand people. There are three stages, there are acts, there is music, there is poetry, there is comedy, there are exhibitions. There will be no stag or hen parties to disturb Tricia this weekend. Its £17 just to drink at her local. I sense something is wrong.

Never mind. She has her ticket and is intrigued to find what its all about. It is her first time. She is a Pride virgin. Soon she will lose her virginity again. Will it be fun? She worries a little as she walks through the village in drab early Friday evening on her way to Tranny Towers. She notices the fast food vans already selling burgers and chips. Tricia doesn’t do chips. Tricia likes to keep nice and slim so chips are out. She has to go through a gate, which later on will be protected by security guards She keeps walking. The way out of the village by the canal is blocked up so she has to do the first bit at street level. A quick beer at Dukes as her shoulder is getting sore carrying her bag and then onto Tina’s, onto dressing, onto fun. The key fob works and lets her in. Into the lift, up eight floors, left into her room and breathe in.

On her battered sideboard she can see her wig, her make-up, her shoes, her handbags, her jewelry and her boobs. In her coffin she can see all her lovely dresses. In her drawers are her skirts and tops and her underwear. On her table, neatly folded, are her two pairs of jeans. One white, one denim. She is back in heaven.

“H Trish, good week?” Tina arrived but the girls didn’t say much to each other as they got ready.. They were too busy choosing their clothes and concentrating on their make-up. Tricia ad already worked out what she was going to wear. It was a Bank holiday weekend so she needed clothes for three and a half days. Wow, she thought, that’s half a week dressed, Yay! Her wardrobe was to be as follows:

Friday Night Slinky black dress, black fishnets, white jacket, white handbag, gold flats
Saturday day Jeans with purple top, black jacket, black handbag, white open toe sandals
Saturday night Dead sexy yellow dress, bare legs, white jacket, white handbag, white shoes
Sunday day Denim jump suit, clear tights, black handbag, black jacket, black ankle boots
Sunday night Sparkly gold dress number two, glossy tights, white jacket, white handbag, gold flats
Monday day Yellow top, white skinny jeans, black handbag, black jacket, black ankle boots
Monday night Slinky red dress, black fishnets, white jacket, white handbag, gold flats

So a pattern was emerging but this was right. Her ankle boots are solid and good for walking. Her flats are good for dancing. Her black handbag can (and does) hold the kitchen sink, her white handbag has limited space. So she is developing one set of outfits for daytime and one for evenings.

As the girls approached the village, Tricia noticed it was like a prison. They had to queue to convert their £17 tickets into yellow wrist bands. Then they were frisked as opposed to frisky and their handbags checked before they were allowed inside their own village. There were eight gates. Eight entry and exit points guarded by security. There was no other way in. The village was packed. There were people milling around everywhere.

Straight to Paddys to meet up with Megan Becky. Becky had found a whip which she didn’t know what do with (Megan had some ideas) because it wasn’t hers. Tina got a text from Marjorie. “I’ve left a whip at Paddys, can you find it me?” Problem solved. They left the whip behind the bar for Marjorie to pick up later.

Everything about the village seemed different. There weren’t even many t-girls in either Paddys or Naps. The atmosphere was less chilled, more raucous. Not necessarily a bad thing, but different. Many of the people Tina and Tricia had got to know over the last year weren’t there; either because they baulked at the £17 ticket (a day ticket was £10) or they weren’t particularly fond of Pride itself. The road (all 30 meters of it) to Naps was packed, but not as packed as it was to be the following night. Naps itself was full but didn’t seem so full of predators, touching or pinching Tricia’s backside, casually holding her hand. The girls enjoyed themselves anyway. It was good meeting new and different people from all over the country. That night they were good girls, aren’t they always? They went home reasonably early. But what is reasonable and what is early? There was the big procession tomorrow and they wanted to see if they could blag there way onto a float.

They weren’t early enough. The girls got up late so couldn’t get to the procession in time. Tricia hopes will be a bit more alert when it comes to the church. She stuck with her white gear, Tina wore black, so they contrasted nicely. Tonight Tricia was going to wear her dead sexy Chinese yellow dress and was looking forward to it. Taxi in and beer in. A few pints and they split up to look at the exhibitions. Tricia was impressed with the number of whips on display and realised where Marjorie had got hers but she didn’t purchase any.

Then she weny to the edge of the village to watch the procession she wanted to take part in. There was a huge crowd jostling for space as it approached. One unfortunate girl slipped over in the melee and got her necklace caught in Tricia’s big toenail. Not a pretty sight, not a pretty toenail! At least Trish had put some nail varnish on in the morning while she was waiting for Tina.

Tricia was due back at Paddy’s at 16:30 to meet Tina but got there earlier. Silly girl, it was obvious that Tina would be late. She was amazed to find that the bar area was virtually empty but that the queue for the ladies was stretched right through the pub and almost out into the street. This was a problem because it was the major reason why Tricia had got there early. She is however a resourceful girl. The queue for the gents was much smaller so she joined that instead; after all, it wasn’t exactly foreign territory. Sometimes its good to have a choice.

Tina arrived announcing that there was parade of drag queens at New York, New York so the girls wandered down to see. They wondered whether should join in but decided against it. They were trannies not drag queens. To confirm that that fact, as Tricia walked away afterwards someone passing her made the comment “now that is a real transvestite”. She felt so proud.

After a few more lively beers and livelier chat the girls went home. Tricia wanted to walk the canals as she needed some air and some space. Tina wanted the cab but then she decided she wanted something to eat so Tricia walked anyway. While they had been drinking a small shower had hit Manchester leaving the cobblestones on the canal towpath slippery. Tricia, practicing her walk and her attitude, went over causing scar on her knee and breaking her sunglasses (£2 from Primark). It was only later that she noticed something much worse had happened. Her right nipple had come away from her boob. Lucky it was caught in her bra. Never mind she thought, I can buy some superglue tomorrow. Some things are easy to mend.
“Ha, ha, ha” said Tina, “told you should have got a cab”.

Saturday night and the village was heaving. They watched a few bands then went to Paddies. Megan and Becky had done too much on Friday night and were still nursing their hangovers. Paddies was an oasis of calm compared to the mayhem outside. A few pints in their and then onto Naps. The atmosphere was very, very different. While Tricia was trying to find a square metre on the dance floor, Tina bumped into Michelle and Zoey. They decided to move onto Spirit. Tricia gave up, there simply wasn’t enough room and went to join them at Spirit. It took her twenty five minutes to get the hundred yards between the two nightclubs. Everybody wanted to kiss her; everybody wanted to have their picture taken with her. After all, she did look dead glam in her sexy yellow Chinese dress.

The following morning Tricia went shopping, agreeing to meet Tina later. She put on her new denim jumpsuit. The trousers were so short they barely covered her backside. She went bare legged wearing her white strappy sandals. She walked along the canal then went up the stairs at Oxford Road to enter the village. Her walk was really improving. The first guy who passed banged his head with his fists. From afar she looked sexy as hell; but up close? She got many, many comments that day, many unprintable, but she loved the attention, it was what she wanted.

Back at Paddy’s to meet Tina, the village was still packed. She noticed a sign on the Gents. It said “Men only – NO LADIES”
“Am I allowed in then? Tricia said to Lee behind the bar.
“I think so” Lee replied
“Then it should say, people with b*llocks only allowed” said Tricia, “that would cover it”.
“No we don’t” said Steve the Landlord, overhearing the conversation.

She met Tina, had a few more beers, had a wander round the village then back to change into slinky red dress and fishnets. They were meeting up with Megan and Becky to see Proms in the Park which tuned out to be disappointing. It should be called ‘Film music in the Park’ thought Tricia; and modern film music at that. An early night, but what’s early, because everybody was tired out.

Monday, the last day of Pride, a bank holiday.. Tricia walks into the village, Tina has departed to prepare for a mornings strimming the following day. Practicing her walk just before entering security gate seven, she slips again as her heel slides across the pavement. This time it wasn’t wet. This time there was no physical damage but plenty of mental damage as a crowd of people laughed at her. She dusted herself down, laughed back, and entered the village, with a very red face, through security gate six.

She was dressed much more soberly this time and wanted one last hike around Manchester to see what reaction she would get. She brought her third empty glass back to Lee behind the bar.
“That’s it” she said “Tricia is ready for Manchester”,
“But is Manchester ready for Tricia?” asked Lee,
.”It will be”, Tricia paused “in about fifty years”.
She hardly caused a ripple; was it her missing nipple? She remembered to get some glue.

Back to the village where she met Megan and Becky and they watched a hilarious concert by Frisky and Mannish (www.friskyandmannish.co.uk). Well worth going to see if they are in your area. They parody songs in a gay way and are very, very, professional and very, very funny. Back in Paddy’s and Tricia gets a surprise.
“I’ve forgotten, I’ve got something for you” said Steve
“Ooooh how exciting” said Tricia
She was passed a small thin parcel. She quickly realised. It was not for her at all, it was the whip which Becky found on Friday.
“No Steve its not for me”
“You’re Tricia aren’t you?”
“Yes but this isn’t for me. I’ll tell you who it is for in a minute.
She opened her tiny notepad where she writes the notes for this blog. It was for Marjorie so she wrote Marjorie on the parcel and gave it back to Steve.
Ultimately Marjorie was to pick it up so was to be happy. Even more ultimately, Tricia supposed, she was to be very, very happy; if a little sore. Tricia was jealous.

Finally they walked into the park for the Candlelight Vigil. This was in remembrance of all the people in the world who have died of Aids. Megan was not looking forward to it as she knew some friends who suffered because of it. Sadly the vigil was much like the rest of Pride.; cheap and commercial. The speeches and the rallying calls should happen elsewhere. This should have been a peaceful, conservative affair. It wasn’t. The three were disappointed. After holding their candles up for a minute the fireworks started. Hallelujah. Bang!

<Chapter Thirty - And This Is My Beloved

And This Is My Beloved

2008-06-02T22:17:00.006+01:00

Whatever you do in life, you can’t get away from your roots, but I have learned that you can add to them.

By the way the words are from Kismet, the music is by Borodin from Prince Igor, (Ovlur's theme); and is beautiful. My Mother once received a standing ovation singing the song. My Father conducted the orchestra. I was ten and cried with pride. We buried my Father to the music. That was the day I became free, though that was no fault of his. Couldn't really find what I wanted as a clip, though this will do :)

----------------------------

Strange spice from the south
Honey through the comb sifting
Imagine these in one eager mouth
And this is my beloved
And when s/he speaks and when s/he talks to me
Music! Mystery!
And when s/he moves And when s/he walks with me
Paradise comes suddenly near
All that can stir All that can stun
All that's for the heart's lifting
Imagine these in one perfect one
And this is my beloved
And this is my beloved

Chapter 29 – Being Tricia

Tricia is proud of herself. Of course when she’s walking around she gets some remarks and caustic comments, but she will always look people in the eye and comment back. She is open, she is honest, she is herself and has absolutely nothing to hide. She loves being the person she has become. She is not frightened about what is around the corner but thinks it fun (and she likes fun) that she doesn’t know what it will be.

Other people are proud of Tricia too. How can she possibly have the nerve to do what she does? Her Mother is proud of her. She sent this card on her birthday.:

Today loving wishes
and thoughts come to mind
For a son who was born to be
one of a kind,
Making his way
with a mind of his own,
Making a difference
and making it known
That he has his own hopes
and dreams to pursue -
Which is why, Son,
these wishes are special,
like you.

Other genuine girls are proud of her. She can see it in their eyes when she walks around Manchester dressed, as she normally does, dressed in a slightly provocative manner. Sometimes however she likes to dress tartily because she wants people to stare, to look at her. Although she occasionally wants to be the centre of attention she can back off if necessary. She is pleased about that. She also notices that some other people are frightened of her. They will make space for her. They will not want to engage in conversation with her but if she manages to get over the initial hurdle then they have fun. Is this Tricia’s fault or is it theirs?

Tricia can get into a zone I can’t. She is in it now as I write this. There is a huge flood of thoughts and influences hitting her.; so many she can hardly cope. Her past, my past; references to her love of music, literature poetry; my love of music, literature, poetry engulfs her. She is in a zone where she is totally relaxed, chilled and can take this all in. She does not have to worry about children, work, money; she can appreciate everything that is good about life. She hasn’t a care in the world and is totally happy. It is being yourself that’s important, not hiding away, not being frightened of anything. Tricia loves this space.

But there’s even more to it. She adores the whole thing. Getting up in the morning, putting on her pretty pink dressing gown and deciding what to wear; washing, shaving, putting on her outfit; slowly applying her make-up; the jewelry, the perfume, the lip plumper; then finally and best of all putting on and styling her wig and then her lippy. She takes her time because she so enjoys doing it although she can do it quickly if necessary. Then there is the satisfaction of seeing her reflection in the mirror.

Walking in along the towpath, preparing her next venture into the big City. What does she need? What does she want? What should she look for? She reads magazines and newspapers for fashion hints and make-up tips. She loves that too. Even I turn to the woman’s section of the paper first, then the sport, then the news. After all, you can’t do much about the news, its already happened.

The fact she can now go anywhere as Tricia also makes her happy. She has been to the cinema, the theatre, restaurants, bars, cafes, pubs and of course the shops. There are plenty more places she would like to go to but there’s no rush. Tricia doesn’t do time. She has yet to do public transport but that will happen shortly. She would like to go to Liverpool for a day trip; to see how it has changed since my University days. To get further back into her roots, my roots. Maybe that will happen next month as Tina is pondering her finances at the moment and is likely to be out less often.

Tricia doesn’t like or believe in labels but has heard of something that makes her feel comfortable while talking to others. She is not just a crossdresser, she is much more than that. She is not a transvestite, she is more than that. She is not a transsexual, she is less than that, for now anyway. She is a t-girl quite simply. That pretty much defines her and is not really a label. Above all though; she is Tricia, she is she; she is who she wants to be. Happy!

<Chapter Thirty One - I Could Have Danced All Night

I Could Have Danced All Night

2008-05-31T21:47:00.006+01:00

This weekend was dominated by one thing. I had been preparing a trip to Liverpool all week. This was going to be major. It would require me to get on a train, dressed and made-up for fifty minutes. I wanted to pick up stuff from my roots. Go to the University where I studied 32 years ago. Try to find the pubs I drank in, the house I lived in and walk through the City. Iain hasn’t been back for 25 years and I of course have never been there at all. Piccy is of ME, TRICIA (the weekend was about that) showing off her attitude. You can see her new Autumn jacket hanging up - dead styly. It was warm for once in Manchester so she wore her black cotton jacket with this outfit on Saturday. Let’s hope that I’m brave enough because it is bound to be fun, and I like fun! By the way, I nearly forgot.

------------------------------

Bed! Bed! I couldn't go to bed!
My head's too light to try to set it down! Sleep! Sleep!
I couldn't sleep tonight.
Not for all the jewels in the crown!
I could have danced all night!
I could have danced all night!
And still have begged for more.
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things I've never done before.
I'll never know What made it so exciting;
Why all at once My heart took flight. I only know when he
Began to dance with me I could have danced,
danced, danced all night!
It's after three now.
Don't you agree now,
She ought to be in bed.

I could have danced all night!
I could have danced all night!
And still have begged for more.
I could have spread my wings
And done a thousand things I've never done before.
I'll never know What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my heart took flight.
I only know when he
Began to dance with me.
I could have danced, danced danced all night!
I understand, dear.
It's all been grand, dear.
But now it's time to sleep.

I could have danced all night,
I could have danced all night.
And still have begged for more.
I could have spread my wings,
And done a thousand things I've never done before.
I'll never know What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my heart took flight. I only know when he
Began to dance with me I could have danced, danced,
danced All night!

Chapter 31 – In which Tricia plans, meets up with some old friends and some new, Tina scores at least twice and Tricia builds up her confidence.

Tricia wasn’t going to Manchester at all she was going to catch up with things at home. Something however was nagging at the back of her mind. She wanted to go back to Liverpool; she wanted to visit her past. She wanted Tricia to see her background. She worked really hard on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so she could go back. She so loves Manchester. So she planned. This is her itinerary..

Friday – Chill into the weekend in slinky black dress. Paddy’s and Naps.

Saturday – Paddy’s then New York, New York for Liverpool v Manchester United then book to get her eyebrows waxed then shopping for black jeans and purple blouse (to go with the autumn jacket she bought last week). Then back to change into slinky red dress then maybe Proms in the Park with Megan and Becky then back to Naps.

Sunday – Tina will be leaving early so she is on her own. First Paddy’s to build up confidence and spirit. Then, at 13:45 the big challenge. To catch a train to Liverpool, to her roots. Tricia on public transport aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhh..

She met Tina, Mark, Josh etc in drab. She was later to see them in slinky black dress and fishnets (Tricia that is). Becky and her sister Joy popped into the pub and the four girls had a good gossip. Megan was still ill but they were hoping to go to Proms in the Park in Salford the following night. That intrigued Tricia. She would think some more about it and maybe go herself. She didn’t promise anything though.

Onto Naps. Tricia had the Merseyside very firmly on her mind. Tina had something else; something North not West of Manchester. Something Scottish. Tina pulled and brought back a Billy Connolly impersonator. No, this is true; he goes around Northern pubs in scruffy clothes posing for pictures with the punters. Och eye the noo, would you believe it?

Tricia meanwhile was pounding the dance floor, marching up and down, practicing her walk, getting her attitude up. She spent hour after hour on the dance floor not leaving until three. She marched back to Tranny Towers through the streets of Manchester. She had attitude. She had confidence. She was Tricia.

The following morning the girls got up late and took a taxi into the village. Tricia wore her t-shirt with a girl just like her on it (?) and her purple skirt with patterned tights. She likes that outfit. Everything seems to merge into one. A quick pint in Paddys then to New York, New York for the football. Manchester United lose to Liverpool 2-1. Tricia doesn’t mind too much. It may make the scousers more accepting of her tomorrow. She also found a place where she could practice her march. There is a big mirror on the way to the toilets in New York, New York. She excuses herself about twelve times in the ninety minutes of the match. “This beer’s going right through me”, she says to Tina.

A few more in Paddys and Tricia says excuse me again. This time for around an hour. Firstly she books her beautician for an eyebrow shaping session at 16:30. Then shopping for a purple blouse and black jeans. She doesn’t have much luck. All the purple blouses she sees are too fussy. Most un-Tricia like. Eventually she finds some black jeans in T-K Max for £15 so quickly buys it. She desperately needs the ladies so has to march back to Paddy’s as quickly as she can. She squats for an awfully long time, something she was to do on many occasions over the weekend.

One quick pint then back to the beautician’s. She hears some very good news. Only two more weeks and she can start wearing earrings properly. Two more weeks with her studs in then she can wear the hooped gold earrings which have been lying on her battered sideboard for a month being admired. Tricia returned to Paddy’s but she knew Tina had gone. She had instructions to wake her up at eight o’clock using any means possible (it was now five). Oh well a quick pint and she will get back too. She texted Megan to decline the offer of proms in the park. She was wary about coming back in the tram in the dark and wanted to save herself for Liverpool. She was just finishing her drink when a huge Nigerian came to sit next to her and they started talking.

She got back to Tranny Towers on the dot at eight. Well, a girl’s got to eat. The timing was perfect as Tina had to get up to unbolt the door. They were out by nine. Tricia changed into slinky red dress but her fishnet hold-ups didn’t hold up so she gave up and went bare legged showing off the scar where she had fallen over during Pride. Tina was after only one thing again so went to Naps early. She was to get it but Tricia doesn’t know who with, and suspects niether does Tina. Tricia didn’t even go to Naps. No Naps on Saturday night, amazing. With tomorrow and Liverpool on her mind she just marched home through the streets. Sometimes she can be so sensible, but other times? .....

Chapter Thirty Three - Its a Lovely Day Today

Its A Lovely Day Today

2008-05-30T11:19:00.005+01:00

Piccy is of me (Tricia) in the Caledonia pub in Liverpool enjoying a pint. Piccy on the Officer Krumpke before was me on the train at Liverpool Lime Street station.

Yes I did it and I loved it. At the end of next month I am going down to London to show my American friend, Monica, the sites and then bring her back to Manchester for some fun and games. I intend to do it all as Tricia. This was therefore an important dress rehearsal. By the way the sun was shining in Manchester, and in Liverpool, so miracles do happen.

===============================================================

Its a lovely day today
So whatever you’ve got to do
You’ve got a lovely day to do it in, that’s true

And I hope whatever you’ve got to do
Is something that can be done by two
For Id really like to stay

Its a lovely day today
And whatever you’ve got to do
Id be so happy to be doing it with you

But if you’ve got something that must be done
And it can only be done by one
There is nothing more to say
Except its a lovely day for saying
Its a lovely day

Its a lovely day today
And whatever I’ve got to do
I’ve got a lovely day to do it in, that’s true

But perhaps whatever I’ve got to do
Is something that can be done by two
If it is then you could stay

Its a lovely day today
But you’re probably busy too
So I suppose there’s nothing we can do

For if you’ve got something that must be done
And it can only be done by one
There is nothing more to say
Except its a lovely day for saying
Its a lovely day

Its a lovely day today
If you’ve something that must get done
Now don’t forget two heads are better than just one

And besides I’m certain if you knew me
Youd find Im very good company
Wont you kindly let me stay?

Its a lovely day today
And whatever we’ve got to do
We’ve got a lovely day to do it in, that’s true

And I know whatever we’ve got to do
Is something that can be done by two

Ill say its a lovely day for saying
Its a lovely day

Chapter 33 – One Goes Mad in Liverpool! (Or is it two?)

The sun was shining and Tricia was up bright and early, well before eight. She had been well behaved the previous night after the previous evening with the big Nigerian. She didn’t even go to Naps. Unheard of on a Saturday night. But today, Sunday, was the big day, the day she had been planning all week. Today she was going to become a scouse girl.

“Oh Maggie Maggie May
She is back and here to stay,
And Lime Street will be Lime Street as before”

What to wear for this, her first time on a train? She must dress soberly, she must not seek attention. She is happy with that though. Sometimes she craves attention and sometimes not, and this she knows this is a not. So checked purple blouse, new skinny black jeans bought yesterday at TK-Max, black cropped jacket and ankle boots. She was going to be walking today. She was going to be clip-clopping around Liverpool today.

There’s even enough time for Tina to get ready so they can have a couple of beers at Paddy’s to settle Tricia’s nerves. She doesn’t really feel nervous though, she feels excited. Tom is there so they talk about the football yesterday and in the week. Soon its 13:45 and Tricia has to say her goodbyes.

She has decided not to do or wear anything special, anything flash. Just be a normal girl (?) Buying a ticket, catching and alighting a train. The journey itself is fifty minutes. Fifty minutes sitting in a carriage with others. A sitting target. She decides to buy Glamour magazine for company. That’s what most normal girls would do, wouldn’t they?

She has bought her ticket and is now on the train. There is a nice guy sitting next to her who knows, but listens to his headphones. He asks Tricia to look after his equipment for him while he goes, presumably to look after his equipment. Tricia’s mind flashes back to yesterday evening. She would like to go with him. While he’s gone the ticket inspector comes round. He punches her ticket and hands it back. “Thanks luv”, he says.

The lady on the seat opposite is applying her make-up. Tricia wants to do that, Tricia wants people to know what a girl she really is. She will start when the train is past Warrington. She has had no difficulties so far and has enjoyed the journey. She needs to relax and watch so she stops writing for a while.

The train approaches Warrington. She cant believe that she is sitting on a train, obviously a tranny (but a good tranny) and there are no issues. She does look good though, as good as she can so far, as good as it gets. She has spent all weekend building up the courage, confidence and attitude to do this.

“She struts her stuff, she feels so proud,
She needs to scream, to shout out loud,
I am Tricia, I am she,
I am who I want to be”

She knows there is lots more that can happen. She knows that Liverpool is rougher around the edges and less cosmopolitan than Manchester. She looks forward to it. If Tricia didn’t do this, if she didn’t care, there would be no point in my investing the money. But she does care. We both want it more than anything in the world. We both want to be free and be ourselves. We will!

Warrington, Now its time to check her make-up. It is good, it is good enough, it is just right for daytime. Not to glary but you know its there. She simply tops up on lipstick and mascara and dabs a little more perfume on. She wants to feel and smell Tricia, to be Tricia. She is!

The train pulls in at Liverpool Lime Street Station. She gets out and has her first big problem. Ladies or Gents? She can’t go back to Paddy’s, she is in Liverpool. For the first time in the straight world Tricia takes the Ladies option. She is good enough, she is sexy enough, she is confident enough, she does it. She shakes her head, why had she put herself through this, she could have easily gone on the train. But she is pleased with herself, even though cost her 30 pence. 30 pence to spend a penny, what is the world coming to? She had had four pints earlier at Paddy’s and one on the train, so she probably got value for money. Next find one of the two pubs I used to drink in. She had to walk through the University campus to do this. I vaguely remembered where they were. Turn left and up the hill. On the way up she passes a pub with some lovely blues being played live. Look for the new cathedral.

“In our Liverpool homes”
“In our Liverpool homes”
“We speak with an accent exceedingly rare”
“Meet under a statue exceedingly bare”
“And if you want a cathedral we’ve got one to spare”

I think of my first two years at University. At the halls of residence near Sefton Park. Too far for Tricia to go today. There were Folk nights every Monday in the bar. I wouldn’t sing when they asked for house singers. I bet Tricia would though. Life would be different is Tricia was in me as much then. She was in me but she was frightened. She isn’t now.

Or

“You look in the dustbin for something to eat”
“You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat”
“In your Liverpool slums”
“In your Liverpool slums”

And worse to follow. I think of my final year in the house of Windsor Street. We used to sunbathe on the toilet roof. When we had a bath the condensation would drop on you from the ceiling of the bathroom. To describe it at a slum was probably generous. But it was my house.

The Cambridge, where she used to eat at lunchtimes as well as drink was no more. I remembered Sandy from behind the bar, he is probably no more too. The Caledonia, where I drunk in the evenings, was open however. But there was no real ale for Tricia. There was satellite TV on showing the Everton game. The pub was full of Everton supporters but they all smiled at Tricia. Tricia was not a threat. She got her picture taken. They are good in scouseland.

She walks out, walks to see if she can find the house she ended her University life in. Past the gothic cathedral (must nicer than the “Mersey Funnel or the wigwam” as it is locally known). She turns into Windsor Street. All has changed. There were seven pubs in Windsor Street, now there are only two. The seven pubs were always open. The two are shut and its only around 16:00. It seems lighter, roomier, the road seems wider than when I remember it. In fact that is true of all Liverpool now. It does seem brighter. Maybe that is progress. She thinks she finds my old house but she’s not 100% sure. Everything is so different.

She walks back. She needs the ladies again. She looks for Ye Cracke which is supposedly where John Lennon and Paul McCartney drunk but can’t find it. She finds the grapes instead. Another place she used to drink. She buys a beer then back on the toilet, what is it with her and toilets this weekend? She goes outside and has a cigarette with her beer. She takes some flak from three guys who realise immediately what she is. She gives it back. It was not spiteful and it was amusing. The scousers are known for their humour.

She walks into the City centre itself. The first thing she notices is that its almost identical to Manchester. The same shops, the same pedestrian area, the same everywhere. Surely we must fight this she thinks. She walks down to the pier head. Where she found the suburbs quite impressive, she sees the centre as a bit plastic. She’s not sure she likes it. This isn’t progress, this is rampant commercialism.

She gets to the pier head, the farthest west she can go before the sea. It is only then that she notices the air is different in Liverpool from Manchester, but it is. She has some banter with some stewards directing the traffic.
“You’re a tranny aren’t you?”
“Yes, and you’re scousers, we all have our crosses to bare”
“You’re nothing but a two bob tart”
“Ha ha, you couldn’t afford me on Liverpool wages; at least you’ve got a job I suppose”

Tricia thinks. Two bob, that’s a lot? And her mind goes all Nigerian again. Actually he bought her a beer, so she goes for £2.50. She’s not sure if that makes her comments justifiable though. Tricia turns to face them and laughs. They laugh back. It was a bit of fun. Laughter can diffuse any situation.

She had another beer in a plastic pub in a plastic glass next to the station while waiting for her train to take her back to Manchester. If she completes the journey she completes everything. She will we all know. Two young girls take pictures of her on the train. They ask and she says yes, providing they take one with Tricia’s camera. Tricia is aware that as the day has gone on she has got worse in presenting herself. This is partly due to alcohol consumed and partly due to tiredness after all the walking. But she doesn’t care. She is happy. She duly arrived back in Manchester at just after seven, safe, sound and exhilarated. Just a few pints in Paddy’s then an early night. She still had much to do back home,

Tricia had changed a lot but there was still much more to see. She wanted to walk around her faculty, she wanted to visit the halls of residence. She still has some more of her roots to discover. She will be back soon though. She now knows she can do it whenever she wants. She likes Liverpool, in general.

Chapter Thirty Four - The Ugly Duckling

The Ugly Duckling

2008-05-29T19:42:00.004+01:00

Dreams can come true if you want them enough. Piccy is of me (Tricia) in my theatre going outfit. I didn’t want to dress too tartily hence the pencil skirt.

-------------------------------
There once was an ugly duckling
With feathers all stubby and brown
And the other birds said in so many words
Get out of town
Get out, get out, get out of town
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
In a flurry of eiderdown

That poor little ugly duckling
Went wandering far and near
But at every place they said to his face
Now get out, get out, get out of here
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
And a very unhappy tear

All through the wintertime he hid himself away
Ashamed to show his face, afraid of what others might say
All through the winter in his lonely clump of wheat
Till a flock of swans spied him there and very soon agreed
You’re a very fine swan indeed!

A swan? Me a swan? Ah, go on!
And he said yes, you’re a swan
Take a look at yourself in the lake and you’ll see
And he looked, and he saw, and he said
I am a swan! Wheeeeeeee!

I’m not such an ugly duckling
No feathers all stubby and brown
For in fact these birds in so many words said
The best in town, the best, the best
The best in town

Not a quack, not a quack, not a waddle or a quack
But a glide and a whistle and a snowy white back
And a head so noble and high
Say who’s an ugly duckling?
Not I!
Not I!

Chapter 34 – A Fairy Story, how very apt.

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, in a land about 200 miles away called London, a young princess, though she didn’t know then, woke up, though she didn’t completely wake up for a long, long time.

She had been dreaming beautiful dreams. Of pretty fairy tale dresses made of silk; of figure hugging skirts and blouses; of sassy handbags and clutches in white, pink, black, red, silver and gold; of boots and shoes with wedges and heels or simply flat; of figure shaping skinny jeans and boot leg jeans; of Barbie pink nail varnish; of mascara, eye-liner, eye shadow, blusher, compact, brushes and sponges and luscious red lipstick so thick it eased onto her pouting lips; of stockings of tights and of ankle socks; of panties, bra’s, slips, camisoles and nighties; of earrings, necklaces, broaches, hair clips, bracelets and rings

She had been dreaming of shopping in the most fabulous shops which sell all those wonderful things; of drinking in the finest pubs and bars; of eating gourmet food in the best restaurants (though she didn’t know about curry then); of listening live to the most beautiful music ever written; of driving in the largest cars imaginable; of watching the most challenging plays ever written; of handsome princes and beautiful princesses just like her and of dancing through the night.

Then, 40 years later, a handsome prince must have kissed her while she was dreaming because …

Once upon a time, not very long ago at all in a land called Manchester, an elderly Queen woke up and got out of bed. She took off her nightie, put on, her underware, her blouse, her pencil skirt, her boots. Then she put on foundation, compact, concealer, eye-liner, mascara, blush, eye shadow, lip plumper, then perfume, then her necklaces and rings. Finally she put on her wig, loaded her handbag and put on her black jacket She left the house and headed for the shops through the canals and locks. She bought a beautiful pink dress and some blouses. She visited her local pub and met another aging Queen just like her. They had some wine and some beer then went to the finest Indian restaurant for something to eat.

They got into a cab to go to the theatre. There they meet up with a wonderful prince and princess just like her and enjoyed a stunning play which shocked them all. They got a taxi back to the pub before going on to the nightclub where she danced all night. She was a dancing Queen in Utopia.

And she lived happily ever after (I think).

Chapter Thirty Five - Dancing Queen

Dancing Queen

2008-05-28T19:33:00.005+01:00

Liverpool has certainly changed me. This weekend I was so much more confidant and my attitude was so much better. It was a tremendous weekend. I now walk around without a care in the world. It is now almost natural for me to go dressed and made-up. Friday night is the key. It is the dance floor at Naps where I build my attitude for the weekend ahead.. Piccy is of Becky and I at the Lowry bar on Saturday.

By the way, from Abba the Musical and Abba the Movie. Bit out of sync I know, but then aren't I? Anyway, its what I feel life's like!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the musics high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
Youre in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Youre a teaser, you turn em on
Leave them burning and then youre gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
Youre in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Chapter 35 – Happy birthday dear Megan the film star who freaks, the girls discuss safety, watch a play and Trish develops attitude

The one thing Tricia learnt from her trip to Liverpool is that it is all about attitude and confidence. To be confident however, you need the attitude. She was going to further develop it this weekend. This weekend was to be seminal (careful how you read that) in her development.

Friday was Megan’s birthday She and Becky has been to see the BBC perform Swan Lake but came back to the village afterwards and saw Tina and Tricia walking away from Paddy’s for a change. To be fair though, they had been in there a couple of hours. Megan had also made her debut in front of the cameras. She was asked her opinion of the credit crunch. “What is the credit crunch?” asked Tricia who was far too wrapped up in her own little life to know about such things. Megan performed admirably but they were not to find out whether her footage was to be included.

A few beers in the pubs on Canal Street and then on to Naps. A normal Friday night in other words. They discussed the fact that a man had been badly hurt by thugs and was lucky to still be alive. He went to a fancy dress party as Lois Lane, his mate went as Superman. Of course the full details of the story weren’t reported so it wasn’t known whether he provoked the incident.
“Superman wasn’t much help then” said Tina.
“Why on earth would a man want to dress up as a girl in any case? I don’t understand.” said Tricia. Yet safety was certainly a major concern for the girls. Tricia’s rule is to stay with the crowds wherever possible and try not to be in a straight place late at night. This weekend it was inevitable that she would be, but then it was a very safe straight place indeed.

In Naps Tricia pounded the dance floor yet again. Up and down, up and down she marched, glaring at anyone who got in her way. She was psyching herself up, developing her attitude and with it her confidence. Meanwhile Megan and Tina discovered that they shared the same size feet. They were both size 8, so they swapped footwear. Megan totally freaked wearing Tina’s boots. She burst into tears and was totally uncontrollable until Becky and Tina took them off. She just couldn’t do girly. Rumour has it that she was once forced to wear a dress for a family event but rumour isn’t always accurate.
The major event on Saturday was the play. Yes, our brave young girls were going to the Lowry to watch ‘Miracle’. They agreed to meet Becky outside the theatre at 18:30. Well eventually arranged because Becky wasn’t up until three in the afternoon after the previous night of excess. Poor Megan had to go to work at 11:00 and on a bicycle with a slow puncture at that. Nothing could puncture Megan’s joi-de-vivre though.

Needless to say Tina was running late and Tricia needed all her patience to get her moving.
“Its time.” said Tina, “It goes too quickly”.
“Have you ever thought” said Tricia, “that it may not be time’s fault; it may sometimes be Tina going too slowly”.
Even so they got to the Lowry at 18:27.

Tina wore a fairly slutty (that is meant as a compliment) black mini dress and boots to the play. Tricia wore a just above the knee pencil skirt and cotton blouse with her ankle boots. She didn’t want to look tarty. As they walked to the lift, Tina bumped into Tricia’s heel.
“Foul, yellow card” shouted Tricia, “that was a tackle from behind”.
It’s a good job, she thought, that I spent fifteen minutes ensuring my tackle was behind. This skirt is very, very, tight.

The sun was shining though it was to get nippy later, so they decided to have a beer outside the Lowry bar in the open air. Becky joined them and they took some pictures and drank some beer.
“Tricia is what you might call a surrealist photographer” said Tina.
“What do you mean?” said Becky
“Here we go” said Tricia.
“All the pictures she takes are blurred because she shakes so much. Show Becky”.
Tina handed Tricia her camera.
“That’s not fair, you’re putting me under far too much pressure, I’m bound to shake now”.
Tricia concentrated with all her might, though there’s not much might in her now. She took a deep breath and gently squeezed the shutter.
“Crikey Trish, that wasn’t bad” said Tina.
“Nothing wrong there” said Becky.
“There’s some funny words on the screen” said Tricia, “I can’t read them because I haven’t got my glasses on”.
She passed the camera to Tina
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, it says ‘camera shake, the picture may be blurred’, ha ha ha ha”
Tricia cursed silently.
Megan wobbled round the corner on her bike. She had ten minutes before the performance started so plenty of time for a quick beer. At this point it all got a bit hectic as they needed to order beers for the interval as well but they made it just in time.

The play itself was first class. It was about a guy who could cure people with terminal diseases by sodomizing them. The cast was only three people in the cast. Ben, ‘The Miracle’ himself, his psychiatrist and a Catholic Priest. The Catholic Priest viewed him as the new messiah but he renounced God and Jesus. A great theological debate ensued but it later transpired that the priest was suffering from an interminable disease and wished to be sodomized. So gay sex was validated. At the end of the play the psychiatrist broke down in tears, pleading for Ben to save her seven year old son who was also suffering from a terminal disease. This really got everybody thinking. How far do you go?

Megan had another shift at six in the morning so they went their separate ways. Tina and Trish did what they normally do; back to Paddy’s then onto Naps. Did Tina pull? Of course she did. Did Tricia pull? Did she care? But she walked back to Tranny Towers with attitude. Now that did matter.

Chapter Thirty Six - Underneath The Arches

Underneath the Arches

2008-05-27T21:39:00.007+01:00

I think I am breaking free; I feel so normal dressing now. It is still as exciting to me as it always was but now all the apprehension and nerves have gone. I want to keep pushing myself further, to do more and more things, to experience myself. Piccy is of me (Tricia) prior to going out on Saturday lunchtime, when I was wolf-whistled on the way back. I like my purple gear and I now have a pink belt which goes really well with it..

By the way there are plenty of ways of having fun! and this one just had to be done by Flanagan and Allen. I'm an English girl and this is an English song. Pity I couldn't find a video, but I'll keep looking.

Underneath the arches
I dream my dreams away,
Underneath the arches
on cobble stones I lay,
Every night you'll find me
tired out and worn,
Happy when the daylight comes creeping
holding the dawn.
Sleeping when it's raining
and sleeping when it's fine,
I hear the train tracking my above,
Pavement is my pillow
no matter where I stray,
Underneath the arches
I dream my dreams away.

Underneath the arches
on cobble stones I lay,
Every night you'll find me
tired out and worn,
Happy when the daylight comes creeping
holding the dawn.
Sleeping when it's raining
and sleeping when it's fine,
I hear the train tracking my above,
Pavement is my pillow
no matter where I stray,
Underneath the arches
I dream my dreams away.

Chapter 36 - The difference between a t-girl and a transvestite

Tina and Tricia dress for different reasons. Tina’s motivation is purely to attract men so she will use any technique she can to appear tarty. Tricia’s main concern is that women accept her and think she looks good. A nice comment from a girl or woman gives her immense pleasure. She also likes to attract men, hence the short skirts and dresses, but doesn’t over-do it. Tricia is starting to wear less and less make-up; Tina more.

Tina is like a predator as far as men are concerned; a hunter gatherer. It’s a weird contrast. If any man shows any interest in her whatsoever she’s on to him in a flash. Tricia can take it or leave it. She does get men coming onto her but doesn’t mind if it doesn’t happen. She also doesn’t judge Tina. They both do what they do for one reason only. To have fun.

As well as developing her confidence and attitude, Tricia is also trying to develop a pout. Even during the week when in drab she is practicing pursing her lips together. It came out forcibly that she was doing in right in Paddys on Friday night. The girls met Jane, a lovely lesbian.
“Want me to go into bloke mode”, she said.
She immediately widened her mouth and started talking in a mock cockney accent. Tricia commented on the wide mouth and Jane agreed. She had been practicing the opposite from Tricia for years. She kissed both girls goodbye.
“Bleeding heck Trish, she puts it on with a trowel; I’ve got gloss or something horrendous all over my cheeks, yuch”.

After hour after hour on the dance floor Tricia struck lucky. She met Tim, or Handy Andy as she was to name him, since his hands couldn’t leave her body alone. He wanted action, he wanted it now. Tricia was happy as it was at least two in the morning and all the marching up and down had made her tired. But where? She couldn’t go to the Rembrandt like last week again, and she was certainly not risking being thrown out of Naps, and there are security cameras everywhere in the village. Tricia thought hard. Where is her favourite place to walk? Why the canal of course. What does the canal have? Why bridges and arches of course. So like a million horny tarts before her she took Handy Andy under the canal bridge. Some people even walked past while they were in the act so he grasped her tightly to himself and snogged, even then he couldn’t stop his hand caressing her backside. Wow! The things one can get up to on a canal.

When she woke up Tricia noticed she has received a text the previous night. It was from Tina. It said: ‘Bad bloke Need you down here as my boyfriend’. The fact that Tricia’s phone was in her handbag which was in the corner of the dancefloor which was playing very loud music seemed to pass Tina by. There was no way on earth Tricia was going to receive that message. “The scary thing” said Tina when they were discussing it, “is that I was actually quite turned on by the fear; I quite enjoyed completely giving control away”. Tina, careful girl.

In Tricias little diary where she makes notes she noticed Tina had put ‘Bog rolls’. She could only assume Tina had put it on the wrong list.

It was Saturday lunchtime and Tricia was ready, and like most Saturday lunchtimes Tina was not. Tricia went for some milk and cigarettes and a lunchtime pint to give Tina some space and time. It was a glorious sunny day in Manchester. It was a glorious sunny day in Manchester. Tricia thoroughly enjoyed reading the paper on a table outside the pub with no atmosphere, tanning her chicken legs. All was peaceful and quiet. Even better, walking back to Tranny Towers a guy wolf-whistled her from behind. Her first ever natural (not ironic) wolf-whistle. She was delighted.

The girls decided to go back to the Stretford Centre. There were some essentials they needed to pick up and there was also a certain boutique they both loved. They needed toilet rolls (you knew that) candles, batteries and wine glasses.

They got:
Tina – 1 skirt, 2 dresses, 3 tops, blue eye shadow, white stockings, body spray, powder, boots (again), eye liner, mascara.

Tricia – 1 dress, 1 blouse, 1 top.

Other - Toilet roll, candles, ouzo, 2 bottles white wine, port, milk.

Forgot – batteries and wine glasses

Only 50% success rate but that was good considering they spent more than forty five minutes in the boutique. Tina spent her rent money again.

On Sunday Tricia woke up bright and early at 09:00. The sun was still shining in Manchester. The sun was still shining in Manchester. She really needed a couple more hours sleep and would normally have put her head back down on the pillow. Not this time though. She knew what she wanted. She wanted to go out into Manchester. She wanted to put on her make-up. She wanted to dress up. She wanted to be Tricia. There was no fear, there was no doubt. Liverpool had changed her, dancing had changed her, she had so much more confidence, she had so much more attitude.

She walked in through the canals. She shopped for around two hours. She even went to the Ladies in the Arndale. She only bought a pair of sunglasses but that didn’t matter. She browsed and browsed through the wonderful clothes on display in the shops. She was happy, she was free, she was Tricia, she was who she wanted to be. She had a coffee before meeting Tina in New York, New York where they watched Manchester United draw with Chelsea. Then to Paddy’s and a lot of beer (Tricia) and wine (Tina). Then a curry then home for an early night. Work tomorrow. Tricia enjoyed her day immensely though; she was herself.

She really thinks she is She now.

Chapter Thirty Seven - Handbags and Gladrags

Handbags and Gladrags

2008-05-26T00:10:00.006+01:00

I will have to extend the rules of the songs to include ones from TV (appropriate but I’m a t-girl). This is the signature tune to the Office, and I’m shortly to become a Grandad (?)

I do so love my handbags!

By the way, it has to be Rod!

Ever see a blind man cross the road
Trying to make the other side
Ever see a young girl growing old
Trying to make herself a bride

So what becomes of you my love
When they have finally stripped you of
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Once I was a young man
And all I thought I had to do was smile
Well you are still a young girl
And you bought everything in style

So once you think you're in you're out
'Cos you don't mean a single thing without
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Sing a song of six-pence for your sake
And take a bottle full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds in a cake
And bake them all in a pie

They told me you missed school today
So what I suggest you just throw them all away
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy
Oh oh

They told me you missed school today
So what I suggest you just throw them all away
The handbags and the gladrags
That your poor old Grandad had to sweat to buy you

Chapter 37 – Tricia’s Handbag

Tricia adores handbags. She loves the colours, she loves the straps, she loves their smell, initially of leather but after they are worn in with her perfume and her make-up. She loves playing with her handbag; one minute on one shoulder, one minute on the other, cradling it on her elbow, carrying it in her hand. She loves unzipping it to get out her purse or her make-up and she loves the way she keeps them meticulously clean. She looks back to her past. She treats handbags with the same reverence as she treated football boots.

Tricia adores buying handbags. She likes cut price designer ones and there are a number of shops who do them. She will spend an age trying them on; over her right shoulder, over her left shoulder, on her elbow, holding them low, holding them like a clutch; looking in the mirror at how she portrays herself, gauging how they feel on her arm, working out how much of her stuff they could contain.

So far Tricia has six handbags. Her two favourites are her black leather one with gold straps which can contain the kitchen sink and her white one with a gold patches which can almost contain the kitchen sink. She has another black handbag with a leopard skin bow. It is dead tarty and not at all Tricia (maybe she should give it to Tina ha-ha) which she bought in a mad moment. She also has a navy handbag, a gold clutch and a pink clutch. These are really evening bags and Tricia rarely carries them. Now she’s bought a slinky pink dress though the pink one may come out of retirement.

It is therefore best to concentrate on the handbags she carries all the time, her black and white bags. She has developed a wardrobe which works with both bags. Black jacket, black boots, black bag. White jacket, gold flats, white bag. Daytime, black bag, because she needs everything with her. Nighttimes, white bag, because she needs nearly everything with her and she likes to dance in her gold flats. She may change the rules sometimes but she is allowed to. After all she is a lady (?).

When she comes back to Tranny Towers to change or first thing in the morning, she will empty the bag she last used and put everything on her bed. She will wash and shave, dress or re-dress and make-up her face. Her make-up bag is white with pink flowers and contains her essentials which are: nail varnish, concealer, eye-liner, mascara, blush, and blusher brush, eye shadow, eye liner, lip plumper, lipstick, lip liner, lip gloss and lip brush. She can just about squeeze in a small mirror, just in case. She has worked out that when she is out (and she certainly is that) the one thing she needs to top up on is the one thing she can’t find and it’s normally lipstick. She places her make-up bag in the bottom of her handbag because it is bulky and easily visible.

Next she put in her powder and her powder brush. If it is hot (is she hot?) she will quite often re-powder but most times (in England) she doesn’t need to. She will then spray on some perfume and put that in her bag. She normally sprays herself every four hours or so. She likes smelling of Tricia. After brushing her wig she puts her hairbrush in. Finally she puts in items that can merely be transferred from her other bag; tissues, phone, purse and keys. Both bags have a secret pocket where she puts her keys. She also checks that she has a condom in the secret pocket of both bags. She never knows when she might strike it lucky; and a girl needs to be safe. Then her glasses, she puts a pen in the glasses case with them and her tiny notebook. Finally, on an outside pocket, she puts in her cigarettes and lighter. If she is wearing a new outfit she will take a picture of herself (vain cow) then put in her camera.

No tights then, no room for tights. If she snares the ones she’s wearing she goes bare legged and throws them away. No spare anything actually, once she is out, she is out and that’s it. It works for her.

Her purse contains coins, notes, credit cards, a picture of Tricia when she first started and tickets for any event. She will ensure it is on the top of her handbag, easily visible, because it is the most likely thing to be used.

Tricia used to struggle with her black handbag. It has two straps not one so didn’t fit easily over her shoulders and a side strap which fastens between the shoulder straps and then a zip. She often found it hard to open, particularly when she was walking, because all the straps got in the way. She now knows why ladies spend so long at the checkout. Now she has attitude she is better though. She will take as long as is needed to ensure that her purse is back where it should be and her handbag is properly zipped up. She doesn’t want to be stolen from. Let’s hope she never grows old (?)

Tricia used to struggle with her purse. If she doesn’t open it correctly all the coins will spill out over the floor and she has to crawl around trying to find them; most unladylike. Tricia has attitude. She now takes her time to make sure her purse is in the right position before opening it. She also ensures her money is carefully put away before she closes it and places it in her handbag. She feels a bit like Tina, making everybody wait. But Tina hasn’t got a purse and is forever emptying her bag to get to her loose change.

Tricia used to struggle with make-up, particularly eye-liner. She doesn’t any more now she has attitude. About every hour she will go to the ladies, do what ladies do most times, in an appropriate position(?) and then check herself in the mirror. She will carefully top up anything that needs topping up, normally lippy or blush. This usually means the entire contents of her make-up strewn all over the toilet shelf as she can never get to what she wants in her make-up bag. She will however be courteous and wait her turn if other girls are in a rush.

She also has a little mirror which lights up when you open it in her make-up bad. This means she can check herself out whenever she wants, normally in a café, bar or even on the train. Sometimes she likes to show off to others about how girly she is by touching up her blush, lippy or mascara in front of them. After all, she is Tricia, she is she, she is who she wants to be.

Then there are the optional items to put into her handbag. The white bag would now be completely full so nothing more can fit in,. That is another reason why she mainly carries it at night. There is however just enough room in her black bag to add her girly pink umbrella (likely), her sunglasses (unlikely) or her girly pink umbrella and her sunglasses (also likely, it is Manchester after all).

If she wishes to do some serious blogging she can also put in her black bag her reporter’s notebook; as long as she lays it flat across the bottom of the bag. It wont fit in her white bag at all. Normally she just packs her tiny little memo pad which Trish uses to make one line notes about her life.

That’s about it; that is Tricia’s handbag. Oh, and Tricia quite likes glad-rags as well. But you probably knew that already.

Chapter Thirty Two - Officer Krupke

Officer Krupke

2008-05-25T19:44:00.003+01:00

Oops, forgot about this one!

This is a bit of a side issue. It should really be about tomorrow. It is me going west in another way and by the way, I’ll borrow from Leonard Bernstein and West Side Story again. After all Manchester is in the West of England. Liverpool is in fact a few miles further West. Will I do it? The picture, which is of ME, TRICIA (the weekend was really supposed to be all about that) gives you a clue. Today was cum and tomorrow will come.

============================================================

KRUPKE
Hey you!

TRISH
Who me, Officer Krupke?

KRUPKE
Yeah you, gimme one good reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya punk!

TRISH
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' upke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks

TRANNIE CHORUS
Gee, Officer Krupke
We're very upset
We never had the love
That every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good

TRISH
There is good!

TRANNIE CHORUS
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside, the worst of us is good

KRUPKE
That's a touching good story

TRISH
Lemme tell it to the world!

KRUPKE
Just tell it to the judge

TRISH
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

JUDGE
Right! Officer Krupke
You're really a square
This girl don't need a judge
She needs an analyst's care
It's just her neurosis
That oughta be curbed
She's psychologically disturbed

TRISH
I'm disturbed

TRANNIE CHORUS
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed

JUDGE
Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account she ain't had a normal home.

TRISH
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

JUDGE
So take her to a headshrinker. You!

KUPKE
Who me?

TRISH
My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sisters wears a moustache
I wear a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess

HEADSHRINKER
Yes, Officer Krupke
She shouldn't be here
This girl don't need a couch
She needs a usefully career
Society's played her a terrible trick
And sociologically she's sick

TRISH
I am sick!

TRANNIE CHORUS
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick

HEADSHRINKER
In my opinion, this child does not need to have her head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.

TRISH
Hey, I got a social disease!

HEADSHRINKER
So take her to a social worker

TRISH
Dear kindly social worker
They tell me get a job
Like be a soda jerker
Which means I'd be a slob
It's not I'm antisocial
I'm only anti-work
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk

A-RAB
Eek, Officer Krupke
You've done it again
This girl don't need a job
She needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside she's no good

TRISH
I'm no good

TRANNIE CHORUS
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good

The trouble is she's lazy
The trouble is she drinks
The trouble is she's crazy
The trouble is she stinks
The trouble is she's growing
The trouble is she's grown
Krupke, we've got troubles of our own

Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees

TRISH
'Cause no one wants a filly
With a social disease

TRANNIE CHORUS
Dear Officer Krupke
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!

Chapter 32 – Liverpool gets sidetracked

She met him at the candy store, you get the picture. He was black, very, very, black. He was Nigerian. He had great thick lips and something else that was great and thick as she was about to find out. She wanted to continue to enjoy this candy store so she went on to another one, about two minutes away.

He didn’t drink so bought himself a small orange and her a sherbert. They snogged until he was ready. She lead him to the ladies and into the cubicle. She squatted for the umpteenth time today and opened her mouth. He wanted her badly and forced himself in, deeper and deeper. She started gagging but was loving it to death. Eventually she got the nack, he was huge!. She opened her throat further, this would help her blossoming singing career. This would get her on X-Factor which was about to start on terrestrial television. But she had X-Factors of her own to worry about. How could she possibly satisfy ...

Then he shuddered and came. Wave after wave of warm, creamy, salty, liquid entered her body. She could taste it for the rest of the evening. Then he withdrew slightly and painted her face with what was left. He was polite, he wiped it off with tissue. He kissed her goodnight and left. She was treated like the cheap whore she undoubtedly was. But it was better than that. She was free!

She went back to her sherbert with her head in a whirl. He had gone, leaving half his orange untouched; back to his wife and child. She got a telling off from the barman. She must never, never, do that again.

She will, but maybe just not there.

Chapter Thirty Eight - I Enjoy Being a Girl

I Enjoy Being a Girl

2008-05-24T19:56:00.003+01:00

On Saturday I went shopping in my black jeans and purple top and didn’t create a stir at all. That isn’t really what I want to portray and got me thinking. I’ve got decent legs, I should show them off. I should wear short dresses and skirts; not over-tarty like Tina but sexy. That will get me noticed, that will get some comments, that is good. Iain tried to fight with me, he doesn’t like the limelight but I do. This was one battle Iain wasn’t going to win. After all, “I am Tricia, I am she, I am who I want to be!”

The picky is of the Tricia the nurse. Bloody Tina – she was only walking around the Himalayas in two weeks time!

Oh, and by the way, I think you know this already. Isn't she lovely!

-----------------------------------------------------------

I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.

I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!

When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!

When I hear the compliment'ry whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

Chapter 38 – Tricia goes shopping (again)

Tina had done her back in. There are three places where she may have done it. She could have done it at work where she strims and makes metal, but she didn’t. She could have done it on her bed having fun with a man, but she didn’t. She could have done it in the Oxfam shop bending down to pick out a skirt from the rail, and she did. Tina didn’t go out Saturday night, she was in agony. Tricia stayed in too and between them they shared a bottle of port. They were such good girls!

Tricia has been thinking; a dangerous state of affairs for a girl like her. She thinks she is getting above her station. Her station is probably Queensway on the Central Line, although she realises now that there is nothing central about Tricia. Tricia is a t-girl yes, but she’s also a girly girl. She likes nothing more than being in the arms of someone (male or female) totally dominant, totally in control of her; looking as pretty as a picture, as submissive as possible. So what’s with the jeans Trish? You are sending out the wrong message. You are trying to protect yourself and that is not what you stated you would do; you know that. It is fine for normal girls to wear jeans but you are a girly girl, a special girl, a t-girl.

Tina has done her back in so Tricia is helping nurse her better. Tricia should look like a nurse so is wearing her skimpy white cotton dress today. Tricia must show that she is not just a t-girl, that she is a girly girl. Tricia likes challenges so she makes one up. Tricia must go into at least six shops and pick out two more dresses. That will give her week of dresses to wear around town and she has some skirts as well. She will need them all shortly. So Tricia will not be wearing jeans for a while.

Tina has done her back in so Tricia is free to explore the shops of Manchester. The girly-girl dresses she is going to buy must come from at least one of the following six shops; Miss Selfridge, H & M, Next, Quiz, New Look or Top Shop. She must therefore go into at least one of these shops twice; once to check it out and once to purchase. She is going in her little white cotton dress, sheer tights, ankle boots, black jacket and handbag.

Tricia goes for a coffee in town before hitting Paddy’s. She is turning a lot of heads. A lot of people commented (not to her directly) that they couldn’t believe she was a bloke until they got up close. Most don’t notice. It’s the teenage boys and girls who take it all in. Tricia has very long slender legs (chicken legs, though quite shapely) and when she shows them off like today she attracts attention. She also has a very, very, slender figure. She could model clothes if it wasn’t for her boat race. She is very willowy and quite tall (5 feet 10 inches) but not too tall. Many girls are taller, many girls are less attractive. Tricia received two wolf-whistles coming back from the coffee house. Tricia is dead sexy. Tricia turns men’s heads. Tricia knows. Tricia loves the attention.

The trouble with getting a day-wear dress that Tricia wanted to be dead sexy is that it is autumn, and is therefore covering up weather. Dead sexy dresses are really for the summer. Tricia wanted two dresses to go with her new jacket. She did indeed go into all six shops. This meant that she had to go to the ladies in the Arndale again and this time she had to queue for about ten minutes. No worries though. She got recognized by some boys in Quiz, who thought she was very funny, but she gave them a wink and they ran off. Other than a brief period of about ten minutes, Tricia didn’t get that much attention. Tricia was puzzled. She had been shopping for over an hour and a half. She thinks, like Liverpool, she was tiring so she made an extra effort, straightened her back a little more, and the comments stopped. As well as the six shops she also went into Peacocks and T-K Max. Eventually, in New Look, she found a short denim dress and knitted red woolen dress. Both were very short. Normal girls would probably wear them with jeans or thick black tights but Tricia isn’t a normal girl, she’s a girly, girl who likes to show off her legs, so she will wear them with clear tights. She spent ten minutes in the changing room trying them on. They fitted well.

Tricia now has eight changes of daytime clothes. Five dresses; white, black, check, denim and red wool, and three skirts; black denim, blue denim and purple with numerous t-shirts; two pink, two yellow, two blue, one green, one silver. She also has a black pencil skirt and three blouses. That is longer but is sexy so that’s ok too, with dark stockings. For nighttimes Tricia has nine glam gowns; white, black, pink, gold, yellow, two red, blue, purple. Tricia is getting together quite a wardrobe.

Tricia needs all these clothes. Tricia needs to be ready. In a months time she is meeting Monica Ann (from Afghanistan via Houston, Texas). She will have Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday in Manchester. She will have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in London with Monica Ann to show her the sights. She will have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday in Manchester with Monica Ann to show her other sites. Ten days dressed? I wonder if she’ll make it. My guess is she probably will.

They are also going to Herefordshire or Wales to see Monica’s roots but they’re not precisely sure where yet and Tricia is going to learn a bit about Buddhism. So these are eventful times for our young heroine who is still thirsting for knowledge; and a beer or two.

Chapter Thirty Nine - Smile

Smile

2008-05-23T21:25:00.004+01:00

I have to stay at home next weekend, for the first weekend in over three months. That will be hard. I wanted to go out on a high this weekend but Tina did her back in so it ended up quieter than I hoped.

The picky is the outfit I (Tricia) wore on the earlier day. Not very sexy!

Eleven days without being me, ouch, so by the way and I never knew it was written by Charlie Chaplin!

--------------------------------------

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

But then there is the end of October to look forward to and nine days being me, so the sun will come through eventually!

Chapter 30 – Tina does her back in so Tricia struts her stuff alone.

Tricia is fast approaching her first birthday. The hugely ironic thing about this is that next weekend, when she should be celebrating; she has to stay at home and not come up here to Manchester. It will be very painful for her. It will be the first weekend for three months that Tricia can’t be herself. But Tricia looks on the bright side of most things; as you know her glass is normally half full. She is going to use the weekend to fund her future. She is going to extend her mortgage so she can continue to enjoy her lifestyle. She will still be able to buy beautiful clothes and make-up and of course arm candy.

She had been practicing two things during the week; her pout and her smile. She wants to be able to change from vampish pout to happy beaming face in an instant. Tricia knows the importance of smiling particularly in her position (on her knees?). It does diffuse most situations in an instant. Tricia wants to concentrate on her mouth, to make it the centerpiece of her face, because she has a spot above her left eye. The hugely ironic thing about this is that when she smiles, she needs to smile with her eyes as well as her lips. It is going to take Tricia a long time to get her pout and her smile right, but she is a patient girl who knows that patience and practice pay off in the end. That is how she improved her walk so much. What she could do with, she thinks to herself, is a style advisor.

Tricia also wanted a make-up advisor. On Saturday she tried to book a makeover for the following day but had no joy. The good news however is that they would happily do it, just not on a Sunday because they work a skeleton staff. This gives Tricia a problem. She needs to book a day in advance and can’t get to the Manchester shops before Saturday at the earliest. Tricia knows to be patient however; she has worked out when it can be done and that will be ideal. At the end of the month she is going to be dressed for nine days including the first three in Manchester. She can book the make-over then for the Monday; perfect timing! She will feel brilliant being made over in the shop with others watching. She bets she won’t want to take the make-up off.

Life is weird sometimes however. That evening she met Lynne a gg who she has met before and who works with cosmetics. She told Lynne her problem ad Lynn volunteered to do Tricia’s eyes. Wow, what a difference! At first Tricia didn’t like it but as the make-up settled down she thought it was amazing. It’s a pity she didn’t have the sense to get a picture but that can come later. Tricia and Lynne swapped mobile numbers and Tricia can phone if she ever wants any help. She now has a posture advisor (Tara) and a make-up adviser. She is starting to get a team behind her. She is happy about that. She is still sad about next weekend though.

Tina did her back in on Saturday but you know that already. Trish, dressed for the first time in her new slinky pink frock was about to put proper hoped earrings in for the first time also when she heard a wailing noise come from Tina’s room.
“Trish, I can’t do it”,
“First time I’ve heard you say that hun”,
“Not that, it’s my back; I can’t get out of bed. Though I couldn’t do that either”.
“I keep telling you not to go to bed in the evening. It takes too long to get going again”
“No Trish, I really am in trouble”.
Poor Tina really was in trouble. She couldn’t move at all.
“I need the toilet,” said Tina, “and I can’t get out of bed”.
It was then Tricia realised that Tina’s ridiculous shopping habits sometimes worked.
“Look behind my bed, there’s a walking stick”
“What on earth have you got a walking stick for. You can walk perfectly well without it”.
“Well I can’t now! anyway it was on special offer at Aldi”
Tricia pulled the bed gently from the wall with Tina occasionally crying out in pain.
“There, one walking stick, and I still don’t believe it!”
“Can you help me up?”
Ten minutes later, looking like a nonagenarian in a pink micro skirt with a pink slashed top and knee high socks with flowers on, Tina was on her feet, bent double, clutching the walking stick for dear life.
“I can’t leave you hun, let’s open the port”
So Saturday night, the busiest night of the week is ruled out for Tricia. No next Saturday night either. Keep smiling girl. She did, and they had as fun an evening as they possibly could when you have no electricity, no heating, no live batteries in the CD player and no hot water.

So onto Sunday and as you know already Trish decided to go all girly in her nurses outfit. She needed to smile on Sunday too. She was accosted by a gang of teenage girls in Miss Selfridge.
“You’re not a real girl are you?”
“What is a real girl?” smiled Tricia
“You’re a man aren’t you”
“Well, my body says I’m a man but my brain says I’m a girl so I don’t know the answer”. Tricia smiled again.
“We think you are very brave”.
“I know I am very brave. Are you comfortable with me?”
“Yes, you seem nice, you seem different, but we don’t know if it’s right”
“What’s right? Remember that if I can do this and be like this then you can do anything”
“Suppose so”
“Think about it”
“Do you have, you know, with men?”
“I am bisexual as you are also probably”.
“Oh no were not and you haven’t answered our question”
“Actually I have, and the answer is yes”
“Oh”
“Oh?” Smile
“I’m not sure we could have, you know, with women”.
“I think you probably could. Don’t rule it out. Don’t ever rule anything out.
“Were confused”
“That’s ok, so am I. But think what you can do, who you can be if you accept who and what you are. Be confident, be proud, have the right attitude and you can go far.
“Do you think so?”
“I know so”.

Trish smiled at the girls and they smiled back; then disappeared out of the shop, hopefully to think about what she had said. But who knows. Tricia knows she is still considered a freak.

She continued shopping, bought two dresses and then went to watch the football in a packed straight pub. No worries. Tricia is confident, Tricia is brave, Tricia has attitude and Tricia smiles a lot. Football over she returned to Paddy’s where she met up with Crystal Chandelier and the Limpet again. Now another hugely ironic thing happened. What is Tricia working on at the moment? Her lips. What is the Limpet’s party trick? Snogging you so hard you can’t break free. Tricia wasn’t sure if this was a good or a bad thing but was clamped to the limpet for a good five minutes. After she had finally managed to break free the Limpet asked whether he could take Tricia home with him. She knew what he wanted.
“Sorry hun, can’t do it, working in Sheffield tomorrow”. Thank goodness for small mercies.

Tricia also bumped into Tony. She liked him a lot. He was quiet, intelligent, modest and amusing. Tricia thinks he likes her too. The difficulty is that he has not yet accepted that he is attracted to t-girls. He is still clinging on to the hope that he can fancy real girls. Tricia is sure he can’t but has to wait for him to give in. Tricia must be patient and not push too hard. She hopes she will see him again in two or three week’s time but he said he wouldn’t be back for around seven. She hopes he will kiss her and invite her back to his place. She hopes they can start a relationship; she thinks she is now ready. All Tricia’s hopes may well get dashed; we shall see in due course.

Tricia was a good girl (isn’t she always?). She left reasonably early; but what’s reasonable? She had a Chinese meal and walked back to Tranny Towers. Tina was still in bed in agony. The following morning was very sad. She was going to have to go 12 days without being Tricia. Oh well; she shrugged her shoulders and smiled. At the end of the month she will be Tricia for nine days consecutively. Won’t that be fun. And Tricia likes fun. With that thought Tricia’s face went into a beaming grin and her eyes lit up. It was good practice.

Chapter Forty - Goodbye

Goodbye

2008-05-22T21:13:00.004+01:00

Two of my best friends were going away this week. Tina was going hiking in the Himalayas (no, not dressed like that) and Megan was going to India to bowl leg spinners and googlies for the Aussie test team. No, Megan was going to Australia for a school re-union, though the Aussie test team needed her. Piccy is of me (Tricia) in my West Side Story (the musical) outfit which got covered in tears because I loved it so much. The outfit wasn’t bad either.

So and by the way….

Brother Bertie went away
To do his bit the other day
With a smile on his lips
and his Lieutenant's pips
upon his shoulder bright and gay
As the train moved out he said,
'Remember me to all the birds.'
And he wagg'd his paw
and went away to war
Shouting out these pathetic words:
Goodbye-ee, goodbye-ee,
Wipe the tear, baby dear, from your eye-ee,
Tho' it's hard to part I know,
I'll be tickled to death to go.
Don't cry-ee, dont sigh-ee,
there's a silver lining in the sky-ee,
Bonsoir, old thing, cheer-i-o, chin, chin,
Nap-poo, toodle-oo, Goodbye-ee.

Chapter 40 – Tricia says goodbye to her friends.
Tricia phoned Tina on Thursday. “No chance I’m coming out on Friday” said Tina who needed to be at Heathrow on Saturday. “I need to prepare”.
“Shouldn’t you have been preparing for the last three months by walking into the village with me rather than taking a cab?” Tricia replied.
“Probably Trish, but its too late for that now. I’ll see you when I get back”.

Tricia texted Tina on Friday as she was leaving for Manchester. It was just a courtesy text. Tina rang back.
“I’m in Paddy’s, what time will you get here?”
So Tricia met Tina, who was with Steve, the one flat mate who knew (and a good mate he was too) in Paddy’s in drab.

“Trish, I need you to do me a favour” said Tina. Tricia was going back to the flat to change.
“Can you pick me up the following so I can get changed at Via Fosse?”
“I thought you weren’t going out” said Tricia.
“I’ve changed my mind, and a girl is allowed to do that”.
“But you’re not a girl yet”.
“Only a matter of time Trish, can you do it?”
“Well yes, but I’d recommend you come with me and change at the flat. I may forget something, I won’t know where anything is and the light has gone” said Tricia.
Tina wrote out a huge list which would cause Tricia a hernia if she were to carry all of it back. They discussed and paired it down a bit.
“Errrm Tina, there’s no make-up on the list”.
“That’s ok, I’ll borrow yours”.
Tricia shrugged her shoulders. She knew this wasn’t going to work.
“Are you sure you’re not coming back with me”
“Certain, I’m fine with Steve here”.

So Tricia trudged back to the flat where it was pitch black. Apart from Tina’s little light by the mirror (which was hugely useful) she was on a wing and a prayer. She carefully got herself ready and made herself up. Then she started on Tina’s list. Nothing, absolutely nothing, was where Tina said it was. After around ten phone calls Tricia had collected together the bizarre mixture of clothes which was to comprise Tina’s farewell outfit. But her wig was not on the wig stand. Tricia sighed, her battery was by now nearly spent but she phoned again.
“Oh yes”, said Tina, “its in a yellow bag in my rucksack”.
Remarkably there was a yellow bag in Tina’s rucksack so Tricia crammed it into the plastic bag containing Tina’s clothes and left the flat to find a taxi.

Tricia was tired but she should have known from experience. If there was one thing that as certain in life, it was that Tina’s wig would not be in a yellow bag in her rucksack. In fact it wouldn’t be in her rucksack at all, or in a yellow bag.

Tricia, looking divine as always, returned to Paddy’s and gave Tina the plastic bag. Tina took the clothes from the bag one-by-one. “Lovely, perfect, I’m going to look hot tonight” then …
“Where’s my wig?”
“In that yellow bag which was in your rucksack”
Tina peered more closely. “But its not there!”
“Its not where?”
“Its not in the yellow bag. Can’t you do anything right?”
“You said it was in a yellow bag in your rucksack. This is the yellow bag, previously in your rucksack.”
“I can’t go out without my wig”.
“Well in that case you’ll just have to go back to the flat and find it; like you should have done the first time”.
Both girls were getting irritable. Tricia was disappointed though. She wanted to get it right for Tina, and this was Tina’s last night.
“Alright, I’ll go back” said Tina; who did and promptly fell asleep as soon as she arrived at the flat. She had far too many beers already that evening. So there was to be no farewell performance.

Tina wasn’t the only one who had too many beers. Tony was also in the pub (a funny seven weeks Tricia thought). Its amazing how people change when they are drunk. It made Tricia think twice about any liaison with him. Whereas he was quiet and self-effacing last week, this week he was blokeish and boorish. Never mind, thought Tricia, tomorrow is the big day anyway; and she walked back through the City quite happily.

Tina apologised in the morning before setting off for Asia. Tricia quickly got herself ready for a busy day; an important day. Today she was going to the theatre by herself for the first time. So she made sure she had enough time for an early start in Paddy’s. The performance was at 14:30 and she had to take the tram (another first) to get there. She met Tom in the pub and had a few, but not too many, beers. After all she wanted to watch West Side Story, not spend all her time in the Ladies. She caught the tram, it was easy, and picked up the tickets from the booking office. She took her seat between two middle class straight couples. Still no problems.

For days afterwards Tricia was singing the songs in her head. The performance was outstanding. The cast was young and vibrant. The singing and dancing were top quality. Of course West Side Story is Tricia’s favourite musical because it reminds her of her own predicament. In many, many years time there will be a place for people like her but it’s not quite ready yet. The ease of her day so far maybe does suggest that it’s closer than she thinks. Tricia cried all the way through her the performance; so much so that she had to redo her make-up both in the interval and at the end. Naturally she used the ladies. ‘When love comes so strong, there is no right or wrong, your love is your love’ and Tricia just loves being Tricia.

Tricia waited an age for the tram to turn up to take her back into Manchester. It was packed solid. It’s good that Tricia is so slender as she only just could fit in; but fit in she did. There were no problems coming back on the tram either.

She was frustrated however because she wanted to watch the England football match. She ended up missing the first half but that didn’t really matter too much as it ended 0-0. She went to the straight pub that is best for football, with the big screen and the atmosphere. She didn’t play safe in the village where there isn’t much call for football. The girls serving behind the bar like to see Tricia, she shows them freedom. No problems in the pub either; this life is easy she thought. England went on to win 5-1 in the end. It wasn’t a brilliant performance but it was more than good enough. Tricia is thinking she is getting more than good enough. Dangerous thoughts girl!

She wandered back to Paddy’s for a while. No Napoleons tonight, she was already shattered. She met Wayne whose boss had the operation. She did it in two and a half years he told her. Tricia thought deeply. “I’m just over a year into doing this seriously. I will have the freedom to transition in another eighteen months. Dare I? Can I afford it? Do I want to?” The time will come when she has to make up her mind, but that time isn’t now. She is happy where she is for the moment. She is Tricia, she is she, she is who she wants to be!

Chapter Forty One - You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two

You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two

2008-05-21T22:50:00.003+01:00

Now this is ridiculous and I’ve got to sort it out. The Limpet fancies me to death and is desperate to have his evil way with me. He has even phoned Iain at work. He saw me in the pub tonight, made a bee-line for me cos I’ve got a hive full of honey (warning); attached himself to me and it was like kissing a Dyson. Anyway, he is supposed to be with Crystal Chandelier who is madly jealous. Then there was trouble. I need to kill off this ridiculous relationship with the Limpet. Picky is of me (Tricia) at home doing my blog. Not sure about the leg position but it was taken a while back. When the kids are away, Tricia can play, though she only goes out far away from home.

Trish be nimble, Trish be quick, Trish jump over the candlestick.

By the way, and this is what it is all about.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In this life, one thing counts
In the bank, large amounts
I'm afraid these don't grow on trees,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, girls,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[GIRLS]
Large amounts don't grow on trees.
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Let's show Tricia how it's done, shall we, my dears?

Why should we break our backs
Stupidly paying tax?
Better get some untaxed income
Better to pick-a-pocket or two.

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, girls,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[GIRLS]
Why should we all break our backs?
Better pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Who says crime doesn't pay?

[sung] Robin Hood, what a crook!
Gave away, what he took.
Charity's fine, subscribe to mine.
Get out and pick-a-pocket or two

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, girls,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[GIRLS]
Robin Hood was far too good
He had to pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN]
Take a tip from Bill Sikes
He can whip what he likes.
I recall, he started small
He had to pick-a-pocket or two.

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, girls,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[GIRLS]
We can be like old Bill Sikes
If we pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN (spoken)]
Stop thief!

Dear old gent passing by
Something nice takes his eye
Everything's clear, attack the rear
Get in and pick-a-pocket or two.

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, girls,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[GIRLS]
Have no fear, attack the rear
Get in and pick-a-pocket or two.

[FAGIN]
When I see someone rich,
Both my thumbs start to itch
Only to find some peace of mind
We have to pick-a-pocket or two.

You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, girls,
You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

[GIRLS]
Just to find some peace of mind

[FAGIN AND GIRLS]
We have to pick-a-pocket or two!

Chapter 41 – Tricia the tea leaf.

After the theatre and the football and a short time in Paddy’s, Tricia went home. She was emotionally and physically exhausted and didn’t need Napoleons or even a man to comfort her. She got back to the flat to find no gas or gas cylinders left. She would have to sort that out later; but she was no good at those sorts of things. She was a girly-girl after all.

So the following morning, even though the cock didn’t crow at all, Tricia was up bright and early because she had a good night’s sleep. She hastily arranged to meet Megan and Becky for lunch; it was Megan’s last weekend before going to Australia. The sun was shining and she fancied hitting the shops early; maybe start with a cappuccino. She had to shave in cold water but her hormones are making a huge difference to her beard growth so it wasn’t too bad. She felt she looked good as she stepped out; well, as good as she gets.

She got quite a few positive comments and smiles as she walked round Manchester. One guy even complimented her on her figure. “Nice t*ts!”. He left it at that but she wondered what she had to be shameful about. Not her legs surely? It was a lovely shop although she didn’t buy anything. She is much more confident, much more certain about herself and this is rubbing off on other people she is sure. She would go back shopping later but fancied a couple of beers so guess where, before meeting Megan and Becky who were running late.

Four beers later and Megan and Becky arrived. Lunch was off. They didn’t do it at Spirit any more; sad. They had a good chat anyway before Tricia, almost falling over after so many beers, said her goodbyes and staggered off shopping again hoping Megan will have a brilliant time in Oz. At least Trish would get some air in her nice lungs and sober up a bit.

She returned back to Paddy’s and had a huge discussion with Coco concerning how to look after children in difficult circumstances. Then she met the Limpet and Crystal Chandelier. The Limpet immediately positioned his lips over hers and sucked the life out of her. But Tricia is a canny lass. She worked out where he was ticklish. It did at least give her some time for air.

Crystal Chandelier then went to the ladies. Tricia followed slightly later, not surprising after all she was drinking, and noticed that Crystal Chandelier’s handbag had been left out by the washing basin. Tricia shouted and warned Crystal then made sure the bag was protected by staying by it until Crystal had finished. She then relieved herself (sitting down naturally) washed her hands and touched up her make-up before going back into the bar.

When she got back to her seat everything was in turmoil. It transpired that Crystal had lost £250 from her bag and she started blaming Tricia. Tricia knows it is a conspiracy. Tricia knows Crystal is jealous because the Limpet fancies her; but she can do nothing about it except protest her innocence. Innocence is not something Tricia does well.

The next time Tricia went to the Ladies it was to be just as eventful. A tall, large, arrogant scouse girl grabbed and fondled her while she was re-applying her make-up (yes, again). “I bet you’d like me to shag you, wouldn’t you. I’ll look out for you honey. I’ve a very large cock back home which I’m sure would satisfy you.” With that she pinched Tricia’s backside, laughed and left. Tricia wondered whether the scouse girl had just come into contact with £250; maybe that was why she seemed so happy. Tricia reckoned that was a second option. She could prove nothing but one thing was for sure. It wasn’t Tricia who stole the money; if indeed any money was stolen at all.

Chapter Forty Two - Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

2008-05-20T14:33:00.003+01:00

Wow, this is it, this is serious. No, I ‘m not going anywhere hot or sunny bur I am going to meet up with Monica Ann, a t-girl from Houston, Texas via Afghanistan. We are meeting in London where I am going to show her the sites then I’m bringing her up to Manchester, hopefully for a bit of fun. What makes it special is that I’m going to do the whole lot dressed.

So, I’m writing this on the train going to Manchester, my home town in drab. It is Saturday 25th October. Sunday and Monday in Manchester bulding up. Tursday down to London to meet up with a work colleague on Tuesday evening. Wednesday meet Monica. Thursday and Friday in London sightseeing. On Saturday back to Manchester and stay there on Sunday and Monday hopefully for some fun. The Tuesday will be very difficult.

That works out at ten days dressed. Ten days as Tricia! YAY! Mega! It will be interesting to see what I feel like at the end. Whether I still enjoy being Tricia after all that time dressed.

By the way, heavy rain is pouring down outside and is forecasted to do so all weekend, so:

--------------------------------------

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

Chapter 42 – A Wild Wet and Windy Day in Manchester

It was the start of the most momentous week of young Tricia’s life and guess what? It was pouring down with rain in Manchester. Not only that but it was cold and windy too. A good job then that Tricia had come up on the Saturday and not the Friday lugging her winter wardrobe in a suitcase. Tricia had six days off work. Six days (plus weekends = ten days) in which she was just going to enjoy being herself. Tricia was later going to the smoke but was starting in Manchester. To get herself prepared and to get her attitude right.

The trouble with Manchester is the rain. When it rains Trish can’t walk the canals because they are too slippery. With the rain and the wind poor Tricia really struggled and must have made an amusing site as she tried to march through Manchester with her girly umbrella and her handbag. She ignored thoughts of a cigarette. She was having enough trouble keeping her girly umbrella up and her handbag over her shoulder. Her girly umbrella was indeed a girly umbrella. At the first sign of any danger i.e. wind; it protected itself by turning half inside out. Tricia then had to feel above her head to straighten it out. In doing so her handbag would fall out of position and all the rain which had collected inside the upside down umbrella was deposited on her head. It was not easy.

It was cold, wet and windy enough for Tricia to wear her winter coat. Tricia’s winter coat is very warm and has a fur hood. The trouble is she can’t use the hood. She has learnt from experience; after all she is over a year old now. The last time she wore her hood up she walked into the pub with hair dry, took her hood down and her wig came off with it. Sniggers all round. Not good at all. Tricia thinks she should practice taking her hood down while keeping her wig on. It would be far easier than struggling with this pesky umbrella. Maybe she will have time this weekend before the fun really starts.

Tricia looked at herself in the mirror in the pub. There was nothing wrong. She looked like Tricia. She also looked like the weather though, dull and lifeless. The weather does change things. Why does she insist in living in England? It must be easier where Megan is now, in Australia. Tricia likes wearing sexy short skirts with flimsy tops to show off her body, but hardly ever gets the chance in England. Tricia feels depressed and looks depressed. She hopes things will perk up. Time for another beer which may help.

Actually it didn’t really but as you know life is a funny thing. Tricia, looking wan and depressed went into town where everybody else looked wan and depressed. The poor English weather makes everybody miserable. Trish was hardly spotted at all and received no comments whatsoever. She blended in better than she had ever done before. She was just another miserable shopper on a wet and windy Saturday in Manchester, England.

She did some shopping though. She found some size eight calf length boots with a heel which she liked. Size eight was the largest the shop sold but Tricia was size nine or ten depending on the shoes. She tried them on anyway and they seemed to fit. Lucky Cinderella. She saw some size nine shoes which she also liked. She tried them on and they were too small. She tried the boots on again and still they seemed to fit. She shrugged her shoulders and bought the boots. Wait for the screaming in agony, wait for the chilblains; but she was sure they fit. She noticed there were only two pairs of boots of that style left in the shop and they were both size eight. She wondered whether she had found out why. Anyway there is now only one pair of size nine boots left.

She also bought herself two sets of underwear, both very pretty. One white and one black bra and pantie set. She had been meaning to buy these for a while and they would be good to wear during the week ahead. She spent three hours shopping and one penny in the ladies; of course she sat down.

Trish spent the evening in the pub before an early night. She knew her attitude was already right and, with the punishing schedule ahead, it was sleep which mattered and not marching the dance floor at Napoleons. She noticed something which, when she thought about it, probably wasn’t surprising. Her pout was coming on nicely. She realised why. When she sips a beer she pouts her lips. When she smokes a cigarette she pouts her lips. Most times, whether in straight world or Tricia world, she is either drinking a pint or smoking a cigarette or both. So it should come naturally. Other things are coming together as well. The way she bends down, the way she gets up from a sitting position, the way she delicately treads around the puddles, her hand gestures, the softness of her voice. They are all getting better and that is good. Go Trish go.

Chapter Forty Three - Into Parliament She Shall Go

Into Parliament She Shall Go

2008-05-19T09:56:00.005+01:00

This was my preparation time for the big excursion to London and back with Monica Ann. There was to be no pounding the dance floor at Napoleons; I had all the attitude I needed. What I actually needed was plenty of rest as the week’s schedule was punishing. Piccy is of me (Tricia) showing off my new acrylic nails; lovely. The question is will I be able to keep them on all week? The song, by the way, comes from Iolanthe. It’s about time the English girl used Gilbert and Sullivan again. It represents future pleasures for me. I has a deal of trouble finding a video but its the best I can do. Enjoy the English wit

--------------------------------

Into Parliament she shall go!
Backed by our supreme authority,
She'll command a large majority!
Into Parliament, into Parliament,
Parliament, Parliament, she shall go!
Into Parliament she shall go!
Into Parliament, into Parliament,
Parliament, Parliament, she shall go!
Into Parliament she shall go!

In the Parliamentary hive,
Liberal or Conservative —
Whig or Tory — I don't know —
But into Parliament she shall go!

Into Parliament she shall go!
Backed by our/their supreme authority,
She'll command a large majority!
Into Parliament, P A arliament,
P A R Parliament, she shall go!
Into Parliament she shall go!
Into Parliament, into Parliament,
Parliament, Parliament, she shall go!
Into Parliament she shall go!

Every bill and every measure
That may gratify her pleasure,
Though your fury it arouses,
Shall be passed by both your Houses!

Oh!

You shall sit, if she sees reason,
Through the grouse and salmon season;

No!

She shall end the cherished rights
You enjoy on Friday nights:

No!

She shall prick that annual blister,
Marriage with deceased wife's sister:

Mercy!

Titles shall ennoble, then,
All the Common Councilmen:

Save Us!

Peers shall teem in Christendom,
And a Duke's exalted station
Be attainable by Com-
Petitive Examination

Oh Horror!

Chapter 43 – In which Tricia Prepares.

Tricia was getting ready for the longest week of her short life. She was going to meet Monica Ann (of Afghanistan via Houston, Texas), take her around London then bring her back to Manchester for some fun. Trish was starting off in Manchester to gear herself up and get some important things sorted out; namely to book an appointment for nail extensions and an eyebrow trim with her beauty consultant; and to arrange a makeover. Her nails and eyebrows were to be done on Sunday, her makeover on Monday. On Tuesday she was going down to London on the train. On Tuesday she was leaving the nest of Manchester. She hoped by then she was perfectly prepared.

The London schedule was massive. Monica Ann wanted to go to Taplow Park in Hertfordshire, the head of the SGI in England as well as do St Paul’s, The Globe, Tate Modern, The Tower of London and the Changing of the Guard. There were also two musicals to fit in. Tricia likes musicals as you might have gathered. The highlight however was to be a tour of the Houses of Parliament. I arranged it for the girls through my MP. A t-girl in Parliament? Whatever next!

Tricia is as hard as nails on top; she has to be to do what she does. Underneath however, as people quickly find out, she is very soft and cuddly. This came out when she had her ceramic nails attached. She felt particularly feminine with her hands on the pad while Kiri was making her nails glamorous. She now knows how to do a French polish to perfection. You cheat and get someone who knows what they are doing and has the right set of tools to do it for you. Some of the tools seemed more at home in the dentists than the beautician but it didn’t hurt at all. It was really very relaxing. It took about half-an-hour. Tricia enjoyed chatting to Kiri during this time. She talked about what she was going to do, what outfits she was going to wear. She imagined that was how any girl having her nails done would chat. She was probably right. She chose a medium length although they were longer than she had ever managed to grow them. To start off with she had a great deal of trouble finding coins and even writing her part of the blog. She was dreading fastening buttons. After a couple of days though, they felt totally natural and they were much stronger than she ever believed they could be.

The following morning Tricia went to Debenhams at the appointed time for her makeover. She felt particularly proud as she sat down on the seat with mirrors all around her. Anybody in the large Department Store could see she was having a makeover. She got told off by Debbie (who will now look after Tricia’s cleansing routine and her face) for not moisturizing enough. Debbie put on a lighter, fresher foundation and powder than Tricia had been using. The in-look was to be fresh with little make-up. Tricia explained the difficulty she had with eye-liner. “I don’t want you using any eye-liner until you have been through the regime I am going to put you on. We concentrate on lips with only minimal eye make-up until we remove the tiredness around your eyes”. Trish was delighted. No more panda eyes, well not for a while at least. YAY.

Monday afternoon and evening was a boisterous affair even though Tricia wanted it quiet. She met Mark and Eric, aka Ruby Gaye (the ‘e’ is important apparently but probably superfluous). Eric was a professional female impersonator who unfortunately lost both his complete wardrobe – at Manchester Piccadilly Station - and the full use of his larynx. The latter was more important as s/he used to sing. He was stamped on by a couple of thugs after a private gig and spent over a month in hospital. Not a happy story. DUM DUM DUM DUM – Trish, remember the danger song and be aware at all times.

Eric had a while back lost his partner of many, many years but he seemed to Trish to be pulling out of the grief. Just how far he was pulling round from the grief she was to find out at the end of her journey. For the afternoon and early evening though, he regaled all who wanted to listen with his stories from the past, of music halls and theatres, of famous people he had worked with. It is all so different now.

On the following morning Tricia added more stuff to her suitcase, carefully; she still wasn’t 100% confident with her new nails. She struggled to where she waits for a taxi, but one turned up quickly and dropped her off at Manchester Piccadilly Station. Keep your eye on your suitcase, she thought to herself. The fact of the matter is that the journey to London was totally uneventful. Tricia wore her black jeans with a pretty pink top and her winter coat to save packing it. She didn’t try to impress, probably didn’t impress, got another taxi to an apartment at London Bridge and arrived in one piece. Signing into the apartment was fun as the girls on reception just loved having Tricia around and finding out what she had planned for the week.

In the evening Trish met Fran, a work colleague who knew all about her and they had a good chat. Trish wasn’t sure about Fran calling her “a complete tart” but knew that on occasions that is precisely what she is. That was to be proved later in the week. An early night in the apartment then tomorrow meet Monica, London, sightseeing. What was in store for Tricia?

Chapter Forty Four - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

2008-05-18T09:04:00.003+01:00

This was a very exhausting time for both Mon and I. We walked miles and miles in the afternoon. It was also a pain being on the top floor of a hotel with no lift. At least Monica’s trunk arrived and she had a chance to get out dressed. I actually think it helped her that she had a day to see that I was getting no reaction when walking around the City. Piccy is of one (No not the Queen but a queen of sorts, Tricia) outside Buckingham Palace. There were quite a few obstacles in our path which, by the way, the song reflects. It comes from the musical we saw on Thursday night.

---------------------------

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of sh*t
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

Chapter 44 – In which the girls face challenges, and overcome them.

What was not in store for Tricia, or Monica come to that, was a transformer for Monica’s phone. That didn’t actually matter because she didn’t need one anyway. Tricia couldn’t understand it. Nobody seemed to know what Monica actually needed to get her mobile phone charged and working in the UK. We don’t have many American tourists in London after all. The girls zigzagged Oxford Street, not looking for skirts and dresses but looking for adapters and transformers. At least Monica could see what London was like, how busy it was, how people would just barge into you without saying sorry, and it was expected that you did the same back.

Monica’s trunk hadn’t arrived from the states. This was quite important as it contained her clothes and make-up. Eventually the girls managed to find out that it would be delivered the following day, when exactly had still to be established. So for day one in London, Monica had to be in drab so couldn’t be Monica. Tricia could be Tricia and looked demure in her skinny white jeans, now with a minor blemish. A tiny stain of nail varnish on her left knee. She did her best to clean it off and felt her best was, just, good enough. The girls had a long discussion about how it was actually easier to ‘pass’ if you had the odd blemish.

The hotel the girls had chosen was also to provide a challenge. Although it was very old; because it was very old, it didn’t have a lift and the girls’ room was right on the top floor. Poor Tricia was only just strong enough to lug her suitcase containing the kitchen sink up the stairs into her room. It was definitely not a job for girls like her and she had to re-apply her powder when she finally made it.

On Wednesday night they decided to have a quiet meal with a few English pints. The meal itself was superb and very English. Bangers and Mash with onion gravy. Monica was in heaven.
“Its nothing like it is in my pub in Houston, the Richmond Arms, it’s just gorgeous”. The girls left reasonably early, tomorrow was going to be a long, long day. The pub was showing cricket on television which intrigued Monica and girls discussed the differences between cricket and baseball. The games are remarkably similar.

Monica’s trunk duly arrived the following morning, but not early enough for her to go out as Monica. So Mike accompanied Tricia who was looking ravishing in black dress and patterned tights. First stop, Buckingham Palace to see the Changing of the Guard. It was packed solid because the kids were on half-term from school. Tricia managed to get her picture taken with a Japanese family. Who had the slantier eyes? She is starting to quite like the camera now. Funny that, I hate it! The weather was bright, sunny but bitterly cold. Good practice for Monica Ann when in Afghanistan apparently.

The girls (I can’t be bothered with girl and boy) walked down the Mall to Charing Cross then took the tube to Tower Bridge. Then they walked and they walked. They saw the Tower then crossed London Bridge getting a good view of Tower Bridge on the way They saw Southwark cathedral on the right and Trish knew of a very old English pub called the George where they stopped to have a drink. Monica was impressed when she heard that Dickens had drunk there. Trish wasn’t quite so sure. Then they went through Southwark Market grabbing a Samosa on the way and along the Thames passed the Clink. In days of yore girls like these wouldn’t get beyond the Clink. Inside, arranged into a series of cells, it has such exhibits as a whipping post, torture chair, foot crusher, and other torture implements. Wouldn’t mind a few hours in there (the torture chair), or on there (the whipping post) myself, thought Tricia but they had to keep walking. Further on were the Globe and the Tate Modern.

The Modern Tate, I’m afraid, Tricia simply doesn’t get; but Monica was in her element. They paid (yes paid!) £10 each to see an exhibition of work by Mark Rothcoe.
“Wow” said Monica, “this is amazing”
“Ow!” said Tricia, “I’ve paid £10 for this?”
“But can’t you see the subtle movement?”
“The pictures just look like bricks; and if there is one thing bricks don’t do it is move subtly”
“Look at the borders though, so clever”.
“My kids were painting stuff like this at nursery school”.
It didn’t help Tricia that there was some mad woman following her into every room humming random tunes out loud. This whole thing was too weird, even for Trish.
“That’s it” said Monica, “you can only take in so much Rothcoe in one go; it makes you emotionally unstable”
Tricia mumbled something under her breath which sounded like “about ten seconds”.
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand”, sighed Tricia.
“You need to start with something less advanced”, said Monica.
“Less advanced???”
One day Tricia may try a bit harder with modern art, but for now she’s enough on her modern plate and the Modern Tate will have to wait.

As they were walking out they saw a pretty young girl wearing a gorgeous yellow Elizabethan outfit. It was so cold though she had jeans under her dress.
“Bless her pointy head”, said Monica.
“Bless her cotton socks surely”, said Tricia.
It was one of a number of very similar but slightly different phrases across the pond.

Back to the walking and the girls go across the Millennium Bridge to St Paul’s. They stop for a beer on the way as by now they were parched. Then back to the top floor of the hotel for Monica to become Monica (at last!). The girls were going out that evening. They were going to see Spamalot at the request of Monica Ann. She was a very big Monty Python fan.

Tricia was a little disappointed with the musical. Yes, it was well done but she knew most of the jokes already and it all seemed a bit dated and maybe a little jaded. Tricia thinks Monty Python’s time has come and gone. Still, an enjoyable enough evening.

After the show they needed to eat. They didn’t want to encounter too many drunks on the tube so went back to Marble Arch, close to the hotel. What Tricia found surprising was that many of the restaurants were closed or closing. She thought London never slept, but clearly it does. Eventually they found somewhere and the girls had a long philosophical discussion over a pizza. Monica’s primary motivation for dressing was to pass because she was a transsexual. She didn’t yet realise how well nigh impossible this was. Tricia’s primary motive was to be herself. She was a t-girl. Tricia felt it was far easier being in her shoes than Monica’s; which were lying unworn under the table. They had caused her agony all evening – and there was more agony to come.

Chapter Forty Five - I Am what I Am

I Am what I Am

2008-05-17T21:06:00.005+01:00

This was a superb day. A walk down Oxford Street, a tour round the Houses of Parliament topped off with La Cage Aux Folles. Piccy is of me (Tricia) outside the Houses of Parliament. By the way this song I have wanted to use for months but I now feel I can, with justification. It is of course from La Cage Aux Folles. It has been pinched by the gay community but this one is indeed a tranny song, even though nobody sings it better than Shirley.

I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth a damn,
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."
I am what I am,
I don't want praise, I don't want pity.
I bang my own drum,
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty.
And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,
Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?
Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud
I am what I am!
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.
There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit;
One life, so it's time to open up your closet.
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,
"Hey world, I am what I am!"

Chapter 44 – A Wonderful Day

The girls discussed something else over their pizza. They were intending to go to Taplow House, the headquarters of the SGI movement in the UK. The trouble was it was out in Hertfordshire, about an hour and a half away. The girls agreed it was too much and instead they decided to do what any other girl would do if they were in a hotel five minutes walk from Oxford Street. Shop 'til they drop. Well not quite until they drop because they were going to the Houses of Parliament in the afternoon and a musical in the evening, but you know what I mean. First thing on the agenda; shoes for Monica Ann.

Now, those of you who have been reading the blog in order, where you can, will know what a slow shopper Tina is. Tricia uses her peripheral vision and if she sees something she likes she will make a beeline straight to it. It either works or it doesn't. If it doesn't work Tricia doesn't mind. There are plenty more clothes and plenty more shops selling clothes Tricia will like. Monica however is an advocate of the Tina style of shopping. Inspect every single item of clothing in the shop to great detail. It was for this reason that they only managed to shop in two stores in three hours; Debenhams and Next. Not a particularly successful haul even given that Debenhams is a Department Store.

The were always going back to Next because Monica had seen an outfit she liked in the window. They left Debenhams empty handed after two hours shopping. Tricia didn't worry too much. She was well aware that she had so little room in her suitcase she had to sit on it to zip it up; and she had already sorted out her clothes in Manchester at the start of the week.

In Next Tricia had already bought some jewellery, had a couple of cigarettes and a chat with some friendly young girls before Monica finally came out of the changing room wearing the outfit she had seen in the window.
“I'm not sure Trish, do you think its me?” said Monica.
Why do girls keep asking Tricia. You are what you are. She is Tricia she is she. She is not Monica Ann, she is not Tina. All she can say is 'Honey, you look fine to me' and admit that the outfit is not something that Tricia would wear. We are all different. That is what makes life fun and we know Tricia likes fun. Tricia is candid and critical though. She will, for example, tell Tina if the clothes she has chosen are totally outrageous (they usually are). Tina will normally smile, give her the thumbs up and buy them anyway. So what is the point of asking Tricia in the first place. In this instance there was nothing wrong with Monica's outfit at all; it just wasn't Tricia and she said so. The girls had already realised they were different; that is why Tricia dresses like a twenty four year old girl (that old?); that is why Monica dresses to pass. Monica bought the outfit.

“Shoes Monica, shoes, over there” said Tricia and her chain smoking began again. However hard they tried, they couldn't find any shoes to properly fit Monica's feet. The poor saleslady must have gone to the store at the back of the shop a dozen times but no joy. Monica's feet were just too large.
“Its ok Monica, I know a specialist shop in Manchester, I have the same problem” said Tricia. “You'll just have to hobble on until then; its hard being a girl sometimes”. And indeed Monica did. She hobbled through the cobbles at Westminster where the marathon runners break down. Monica didn't break down however and the reached the Houses of Parliament in time for their tour, and for a sandwich to keep them going.

The start of the tour was scary for Monica. Everybody had to had their pictures taken for security reasons. Tricia wondered what name would be put on her photo as I had booked the trip for her. Neither Monica nor Tricia needed to worry. They had the pictures, they didn't need the words. The tour was exceptionally good and brilliantly done by an MP who took the girls round in a group of about twenty. There were no troubles at all, the girls even asked some questions. It was aparrent that Westminster was well used to t-girls which is good. It was fascinating going through English history in this, the most English building of them all and then being brought back to the present day. Did you know that Gordon Brown scribbles on the dispatch box, Tricia has seen it! Good girls like Tricia didn't even scribble on their desks at school, never mind the dispatch box (hmm, not sure about that).

After the tour the girls went back to the hotel room to change for the night out. Well, Tricia didn't. It was freezing outside and she was still looking demure in her 'Those shoes look fab, I HAVE TO HAVE A PAIR' pink t-shirt and skinny black jeans. Monica Ann wanted to change and rest her weary and painful feet. Tricia worked out how to get to the theatre from the Internet and went for a beer.
“Back in an hour or so hon” Tricia likes the 'or so'. It gives her some leeway.
“Make sure you're ready because we haven't got much time”.

Tricia knew, as sure as eggs is eggs, that Monica Ann would definitely not be ready in an hour So she gave her an hour and a half. They had to be out in two hours and Tricia only had her make-up to top up.

She duly arrived half an hour before they had to leave to find complete carnage in the room. True, there was a half dressed though un-made-up Monica but there were clothes, shoes, bags, pills, make-up and jewellery everywhere.
“ I hope you don't thing I'm taking over” said Monica Ann.
“Hon, you do what you must but we only have half an hour to get out and you're not even dressed yet”, said Tricia, trying to stay calm.
“Do you think this will work with this?”
“Yes, but as I've said before, its not me”.
“Thank you, I need a sounding board”
“Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!, Ok hon, just get going”.
“Don't put me under any pressure, I'm no good under pressure”.
“Ssshh, don't tell your employers. You drive trucks in a war zone for goodness sake. You have to be able to take pressure. Now you need move quicker than you've ever moved in your life. Shouldn't be hard”.
Tricia, frustrated, was getting bitchy.
“And I thought Tina was slow!”
But she relented, she realised that being bitchy was no good and that she needed a plan. She started tidying up, leant Monica her foundation and things started to move again. She was also well aware that Monica had no chance of dressing up in Afghanistan so it was difficult for her. Tricia, using all her woman management skills, cajoled and encouraged Monica to such an extent that they managed to get out in forty five minutes. There was still enough time.

Tricia had established where the theatre was. It was easy. Take the tube to the Strand, left and then across the road and right towards Charing Cross. The trouble was that there were approximately twelve exits out of the Strand so the odds of her getting the right one were, well twelve to one. Not surprisingly she didn't win the bet so she needed time to find her bearings.
“Are you sure I look ok in this Trish?”
“Do the shoes go with the outfit?”
“Do you think it suits me?”
“Do you .......”
“Monica, will you just shut up for a moment. Its a bit late to worry about your outfit and you've just travelled on the tube for goodness sake. I need some space to find out where we are going”.
Tricia was exasperated again but spotted a signpost to Charing Cross. She knew where she was going and who was coming with her. She relented.
“You're looking fine, you're outfit is fine, the theatre is two minutes away, all is good”.
Tricia smiled, Monica smiled, all was indeed good.

In fact things were better than good. The show was absolutely fantastic! Tricia thinks it was the best she has ever seen. I think it was the best I have ever seen. It helped that it was all about girls like Tricia. It helped that the girls went dressed. At the end of the first act, when the signature song of the musical was sung, it was given out with such feeling, such guts, that tears started welling in Tricia's eyes again. She must stop crying in the theatre. No, she mustn't stop crying in the theatre, its good for her. Crying with emotion is fun.

Absolutely knocked out by the show, the girls had to go back to the hotel to pack for the next leg of their journey, Manchester. They had done London, the history, the heritage, the theatres. Now for some good old fashioned English fun. The farce that was to ensue over the next couple of days made La Cage Aux Folles believable. But you are promised one thing. It will definitely be fun!

Oh, and by the way, I am what I am.

Chapter Forty Six - Lets Face the Music and Dance